Necessary Affections
by Princess-Meru
Summary: Harry becomes ill and doesn't understand why. Snape knows the answer. SSHP Originally written by CottonTail. Updated on Tuesdays. WARNING: MPREG
1. Chapter 1

**Note From The New Author: **Hey everyone. My name is Princess-Meru. This story is originally by CottonTail. She has written a great number of the chapters. We will let you know where she stopped and we (my team of lazy authors) begin. I hope you enjoy (because this is the only fanfic you will EVER see on my account above PG-13).

**Disclaimer:** Harry Potter and all characters portrayed are not mine. I make no profit from this.

**WARNING:**

Also, this is going to turn into slash (Harry/Severus)… with luck. Or, this could easily join all the other unfinished HP fiction that is out there.

"Lie still, Potter!"

Nausea, sharp pain, lightheaded.

Thirst. Harry couldn't recall ever being this thirsty before in his life.

He tried turning his head, forcing his eyes to open. The nausea won out over thirst and whatever contents were in his stomach made a valiant effort to rise.

"Don't move him!" A sharp, all too familiar voice snarled in a half whisper.

"Professor, he's going to be sick."

"Trust me Miss Granger. There is nothing left in there for him to puke up."

Harry groaned, tried again to open his eyes, only to be rewarded with too much brightness.

"I said, lie still, Potter." The voice was not so harsh this time. A hand rested on his forehead.

"Am I dying?" He rasped out, not entirely certain any one would be able to make out what he was saying. His throat was too dry. He'd like some water before he died, please.

Silence. A slight clinking of metal and sounds came to him. Sounds he recognized as the medical ward of Hogwarts.

"No, you're not dying. Just stay still all the same." The voice was irritated, but not in the usual way. More like an irritation begot from lack of sleep and too much stress perhaps.

Harry lay still, wishing for water but too unfocused and wary to ask for it.

Why was he being treated by Professor Snape? Where was Madam Pomfrey? His mind was placed at ease only by the knowledge that Hermione was near.

The hand on his forehead moved away. Immediately the nausea returned, he turned his head to the side and tried the warn them, "Sick."

"No you're not, Potter. Just your stomach trying to crawl out of your body." Again, the usually snide voice of the potions Professor was gentling. Vaguely he wondered why Snape wasn't chastising him, but was too grateful for the cool hand that again pressed against his forehead. Whispered Latin words. An incantation certainly. The sickness receded once more, but hung on the horizon.

"Here, drink." His head was lifted slightly, a cup pressed to his lips and gloriously cold water washed over his lips, dribbled down his chin before he started gulping it down in great draughts.

He made no effort to fight his mind from slipping back into unconsciousness.

They were looking at him again. He felt their eyes on him. Harry gripped his quill a bit tighter and willed himself to ignore it. Now Hermione and Ron were giving him worried glances.

He continued to take down the instructions Snape was writing on the board for today's lesson. Some type of mixture that allowed one to see in the dark, like a cat.

Ever since he'd returned from Madam Pomfrey's ward he'd been hyper aware of the cautious looks he received. And not just from other students, or from snickering Slytherins. This was more than that. This was like the time the whole school discovered he could speak to snakes.

Still Harry couldn't recall what it was that had landed him in the hospital ward in the first place. His last memory had been sitting in this very class last week and taking down notes, just as he was doing now. Perhaps that is why every one kept eyeing him. Did they think it was going to happen again?

The only one who seemed impervious to it all was Snape. He continued to scratch out the last details of the potion then turned towards his group of students with a great flourish of black robes, long fingered hands clasped a thick bound book of potions before him and he glared at the entire class.

"Well?" A quiet murmur from him and when he was met with blank looks and silence he slammed the book down on his desk with great force, causing the entire dungeon room to echo with a great bang. The class jumped in alarm, a few muffled screams from some girls in the back and then a mad rush for the table of ingredients where it was a free for all.

Harry hated this part. He was never quick or brutal enough to just jump in there and push others aside in hopes of getting the best ingredients. He always ended up with the last remains. Possibly this explained why his potions were never completely up to par.

Ron returned to their table with his arms full of shrubs, roots, and various animal entrails. "Got enough for both of us, Harry."

"Thanks." Harry gave a half smile of appreciation and started in on his potion. Ron and Hermione had been the ones to tell him what happened last week.

"Blimey Harry! You don't remember at all?"

"I told you I don't."

"Well I guess its not surprising really. It was pretty bad. I never heard such screaming."

Harry gulped down the last of the chocolate that had come with his lunch. He was still in the hospital ward and eating in bed with his friends on either side of him.

He glanced at Hermione for confirmation. Ron had a way of embellishing things sometimes.

She stared back at him.

"Screaming?"

"Yeah, you Harry. You were just going about your potion, all normal like and then just collapsed and started screaming bloody murder. You were grabbing at your head… erm… your scar, you know… scratching at it, like you could get it off… it was bleeding, from your scratching.

That explained the healing scabs on his forehead.

"Oh, it was awful Harry. I was so worried." Hermione moved from her seat to the edge of the bed. "We didn't know what to do."

"Yeah, and you were just curled up on the floor screaming. The whole class was… well… it was bad."

"Professor Snape, he's the one who brought you to the hospital ward. He stopped your screaming."

"Still can't figure how he did that." Ron looked curiously at Hermione. "Like he just knew how to make it stop. Just reached down and laid a hand on your head and you went silent. Then scooped you up and rushed out of the class. Brought you here."

Harry's thoughts flashed back to his first conscious thoughts upon waking in this bed. Snape's hand on his forehead.

"I remember him here. He was here earlier, when I woke up. He gave me water."

"Yeah, he was here a lot while you were unconscious, Harry." Hermione confirmed. "Mostly at night when Madam Pomfrey was sleeping."

"Creepy." Ron shivered and sat back in his chair.

Sitting here in class again, Harry had to wonder how creepy it actually was. At first thought it had seemed disturbing to him. To have Professor Snape, of all the Professors and other staff here at Hogwarts, to have it be him who was at Harry's bedside. It was him who had stopped his screams and watched over him at night while he lay unconscious. Why him?

He found himself looking over his caldron at the tall, gloomy man. The potions master was at his desk, eyes darting back and forth over some scrolls lying before him. Probably quizzes from some previous class. He scribbled off marks with his quill and set one of the scrolls aside. Then, as if sensing some one was watching him, the black eyes looked up and directly into Harry's own.

Startled, Harry looked away quickly. Realized his potion was about to boil over and quickly set it right again.


	2. Chapter 2

(Step-authors note - message from Meru-chan: Halo! Como estas? Is geit mi gut... yeah, I'm on language overhaul - German, Hebrew, Spanish, English, and soon Japanese. Don't mind me if the grammar gets weird. Alright, we are now on chapter two of Necessary Affections. I'm so happy to know that some of the old readers still remeber this story. Yes, I liked it too, hence why it's in my account when I didn't originally write it. Please keep in mind that this is CottonTail's baby and not mine, and no matter how I raise it, it will still have CottonTail's eyes, skin, height, hair, and whatever other features. I just am raising it. And now, to chapter 2.)

(I must thank JiM for pointing out to me that my weather patterns were a bit screwed up. Windy and then snowing with the window open. So I'm making a quick fix edit here.)

**I'm wishing I hadn't titled this "The Plot" because now I'll have to give it one. I didn't want to post this part yet. But I keep getting "where's the next part" e-mail so I feel guilty.**

**Please feel free to correct any of my incorrect terms for some things in the HP universe. I'm still a bit of a newbie to the fandom. **

**Disclaimer:** Harry Potter and all characters portrayed are not mine. I make no profit from this.

**WARNING:**

Also, this is going to turn into slash (Harry/Severus)… with luck. Or, this could easily join all the other unfinished HP fiction that is out there.

Damned the boy.

Severus glowered at Harry who was furiously trying to lower the temperature on his boiling potion. Granger reached over and added a few pinches of dried snail slime to the potion and it immediately settled back to a simmer. Potter gave her a relieved smile and glanced up at him once more. Seeing that Snape was still watching he immediately dropped his eyes in a way that came off far too flirtatiously for Severus' comfort.

But he was unaware of it. The boy hadn't a clue he was doing this. Flirting with darkness. Playing right into it. The great plan. Severus scowled even more. Perhaps if Harry knew what he had to look forward to he would be fighting against it more. As it was, he was little more than an unwitting toy in a game.

One of the Gryffindores at the back of the class was causing an alarming amount of yellow smoke to fill the air. "Damned morons!" Severus muttered just under his breath and threw his quill down, standing abruptly. He glided down the small aisle to the back of the class to give the student the proper amount of scolding reprimand, entirely too aware that Harry flinched when he passed.

After setting the student right he returned to the front of the class, stopping just short of Potter's table. The boy was standing stiffly, shoulders squared. He could feel him of course. The connection between them, all of it open now. And no matter how much Severus disliked this link between them, disliked the way it had been forced upon them and disliked the reason for its necessity… he had to admit, it was far too tempting to play with him. There was a certain thrill to know just what Potter was feeling right now

Anxiety for certain, but also confusion and just under that, need. Need Harry couldn't put a name to yet. Unaware as he was.

Severus leaned over the boy's shoulder, giving the impression he was examining Potter's potion. "Its a bit thick, Potter." He spoke low and just within Harry's hearing.

He shivered. Severus saw the subtle movement of muscles in the boy's back tense and then release as he stepped away and returned to his desk with the usual swirl of robes.

Severus felt just a twinge of guilt at teasing him like this. He must be confused enough over recent events. And he knew that Dumbledore was not forthcoming with the boy about what was happening.

He ignored the impulse to look at Harry again and returned to his grading.

Harry woke abruptly and sat up, blinking into the darkness. Soft snores and breathing from the other beds in the room with him. There was a cold draft in the air, despite the closed window, and it fell across him, cooling the sheen of sweat that covered his body and making him shiver.

He touched tentative fingers to his scar but there was none of the usual tenderness or pain that he normally associated with his nightmares. In fact, he wasn't entirely sure this had been a nightmare that woke him. Just that he woke so suddenly and his heart was racing, his breathing fast.

Dread filled him. Why couldn't he just sleep through the night like other normal students? He felt certain he was awake for a reason. Certain something was supposed to happen.

He continued to sit in the darkness. Having no inclination to actually get out of bed and no place to go once he did.

He lay back down, thoughts running in circles. Always returning to the Potions class and Professor Snape's odd behavior towards him. Hermione and Ron had not noticed it. But there had been something. Like Snape was trying to tell him an important message and Harry was deaf to it.

Harry felt an overwhelming need to go to him, to ask once and for all what it was he was trying to say. Why was he there at Harry's bedside while he was unconscious for so many days? But he just knew the older wizard would scoff at him. Call him a foolish boy and tell him to go away. Take ten points from Gryffindor for being stupid or some such.

He snuggled further under his heavy covers and buried his head in them. Willing these confused feelings to go away. Snow was blowing outside the thick window. Cold winds whistled against the pane and made the warmth of the room and the security of his bed all the more comforting.

His thoughts returned to the feel if a soothing hand against his head, the voice gentling and calming him. He thought of all the times Professor Snape had always been there. Catching him before he landed too far into trouble. And every time Harry had assumed the man was up to no good. Was trying to sabotage Harry and his friends, to hurt him, get him expelled.

Every time, it turned out the opposite. He was always there watching over him. Like he cared in some sick way. Harry felt queasy at the idea. Why was he like that? Dark and cruel one minute and then he's your guardian angel the next? Hmmm. Angel and Snape did not go in the same sentence. Harry reconsidered.

Guardian… guardian tall, intimidating, dark eyed, potions professor. That sounded better.

These thoughts were not helping him fall back asleep.

Harry wondered if he hadn't woken so suddenly because he was beginning to feel sick again. No. Not again. He buried his head further into his pillows and took deep breaths, willing the flopping of his stomach to go away. Had he eaten something bad at the evening meal? No. Beef stew and buttered rolls. It wasn't anything he hadn't had before.

The rest of the night was going to be restless. Just what he needed with a test in Charms tomorrow. Curling further into a ball he struggled to keep from moaning and shivering.


	3. Chapter 3

(Notes from the step-author Meru-chan: Sorry I didn't post last week. I was overloaded with HW on tuesday and then on wednesday my Grandfather died, so I've been out of it for a week. Anyway, the first chapter us step-authors have written is now beta-ed. This however, is not that chapter, so give credit where it is due! WE DID NOT WRITE THIS CHAPTER! CottonTail did!)

(Special note to a special reviewer: Bugger, you made my life. I spoke German when I was little-now I can only understand it- and it really made me smile. So DANKE!)

**Please feel free to correct any of my incorrect terms for some things in the HP universe. I'm still a bit of a newbie to the fandom. Or to point out anything I have overlooked. I read these chapters over several times before I post them but still I can miss things. **

**Disclaimer: Harry Potter and all characters portrayed are not mine. I make no profit from this. **

**WARNING:**

**Also, I hope this is going to turn into slash (Harry/Severus). I've rated this "R" for now. You have been warned!**

**By the way, thanks to every one for reviews and requests for more. I'm sorry this bit took some time to get out. I was busy reading the 5th book. Like every one else. It has been VERY helpful. So much Harry/Severus possibility. **

**Now, if I can just figure out where this story is going. I'm totally writing as I go along and have no clue. I'm going to have to come up with something soon, because what ever comes after this chapter is going to require it. **

The Hard Road, Li Po

"…the sky is blind with snow."

"Harry! You look awful!" Hermione leaned over her book, which was laid out on the table, amongst the breakfast dishes.

"Thanks." Harry mumbled and slumped down at the table across from her. Ron simply stared at him with his mouth full of blueberry muffin.

"Didn't you sleep last night? You look ill. You should go to Madam Pomfrey."

"No, not again. I just got out of there. I'll be fine." Harry resolutely reached for a glass of juice and tried to gulp it down. He didn't want to try any food though. His appetite was nonexistent.

"You're white as Hedwig." Ron said, after swallowing the muffin.

"I'll be fine." Harry repeated, in a voice he hoped was more insistent.

Neither of his friends looked convinced, but they didn't argue further.

Harry concentrated on his juice and looked around the great hall at the other tables. Most of the early breakfast crowd had left by now and only a few dozen students remained before rushing off to the first classes of the day.

Hermione was attempting to quiz Ron on Charms and the upcoming exam. Harry was attempting to not throw up the bit of juice he'd drunk. He was doing a good job of it too, until Hermione's and Ron's bickering suddenly silenced. Harry glanced up at them, only to see that they were both looking just above his head, twin looks of unease on their faces.

Harry chanced it and looked up only to find the tall, imposing, potions professor standing over him. One finely etched black eyebrow raised. "Rough night, Mr. Potter?"

"No." Harry lied. The eyebrow raised a little higher, head tilted.

"Sir." Harry amended. Snape knew he was lying. Harry could feel it. Like he was reading him somehow. Dizziness struck again and he struggled to stand to get away from the table or risk being ill on Professor Snape's robes. Not that Harry had a problem with that, just that he didn't want detention for it or anything.

Would actually be interesting to see Snape's reaction to it. The potions master was too quick though. He stepped lightly to the side and grabbed Harry by the scruff of his collar and pushed him in a general direction that was away from the table.

Harry fell to the floor and vomited up what little juice was in his stomach.

The hall was silent and he heard Hermione and Ron asking him if he was okay. "Professor Snape?" It was McGonagall.

"It would appear Mister Potter is a bit under the weather… again." Snape commented.

McGonagall frowned at Snape but made no comment.

"Come on Mister Potter, let us go visit Madam Pomfrey." She helped him up, waved her wand over the sickness on the floor and it vanished. "You two," She made a wave of her hand to Ron and Hermione, "Off to class with you. You'll be late."

Hedwig glided through the sky, almost disappearing in the blanket of falling snow. Harry had to squint to find her up there, flying lazy circles around the grounds.

It was Christmas. The majority of the student body was home for the holidays and Harry had the school to himself. Hermione and Ron had both gone home this holiday. The Weasley's had offered, more than once, to have Harry for the Christmas break but Dumbledore was reluctant, as usual.

He didn't mind so much. As long as he wasn't locked away at the Dursley's he was more than willing to be alone here.

The sickness woke him up every night and some times it came over him in the middle of day for no apparent reason. But Madam Pomfrey seemed to not be overly concerned and Dumbledore had shrugged off any real answers to Harry's first questions about it.

He assumed, as he often did these days, that it had something to do with Voldemorte. He was simply glad that his scar was no longer burning with pain. One illness for another.

Harry gazed up into the falling snow, head back and face up to the silent descent of whiteness. It was eerily quiet. If he cleared his mind and watched only the ceaseless fall of white flakes he could imagine what infinity was.

"The sky is blind with snow." A quiet voice broke the silence and Harry didn't have to guess at who it was. He turned his face from the sky and shook snow from his hair, had to take off his glasses to wipe the droplets of melted flakes from them.

Tall and dark and very distinctly black against the backdrop of the snow, Professor Snape stood, just feet away from him. When had he approached? It was a bit disconcerting to think that he hadn't heard it. Was his mind so far away? Harry put his glasses back on and the older wizard came further into focus.

His hair was swept away from his face, wet with melted snow. The black of his long cloak dragged in the whiteness and flurries drifted around him but never seemed to really land on him. Harry wondered if he'd spelled himself somehow to repel it. But then, his hair looked damp so maybe not.

"Professor." Harry murmured and tried not to look too unsettled by Snape's sudden appearance.

"I wonder Mr. Potter, what you are doing out here in the cold, considering your failing health as of late."

"My health isn't failing." Harry shot back before thinking. "Sir."

"Yet you cannot deny that you have been quite the regular guest in the hospital wing lately."

Harry didn't answer, looked down at the ground and then back at Snape who was closer now, looming over him.

Again, he'd moved without Harry hearing or seeing it.

"I'm fine. I just wanted to let Hedwig fly a bit."

"Dinner is prepared."

"I'll be in, sir."

Black eyes bore into him. Seemed to be studying him for something. Harry's heart sped up, his breathing became shallow. But he continued to look into those depthless eyes, refused to be the first to look away.

"I wonder, Mr. Potter, why you have yet to ask me."

Harry blinked and looked away from Snape. He felt dizzy and fervently wished this would not come over him now.

"Ask what, sir?"

Snape gave him a wary look. "Why you do not sleep at night any more. Why you are always on the edge of weakness and why, as of late, you spend more time with Madam Pomfrey than you do with your fellow, simpering Gryffindors."

A cold chill spread through his veins. Harry stared up at Snape. Yes, why? Why hadn't he asked Snape for answers. He had been there that first time. It had been Snape who was at Harry's bedside for that first week. And by all accounts, it was Snape who had stopped his screams when he had collapsed in the Potions class.

"I did ask. I asked the Headmaster and he didn't give me answers. And Madam Pomfrey doesn't seem to be worried about it and…" He trailed off, looked away from that fixed, ink black gaze. He was suddenly very frustrated. Angry at himself, for not thinking of Professor Snape as a source of answers.

But why hadn't Snape told him, if he knew? Why make him ask?

Because he was sadistic like that. Harry glared at the older wizard.

"Why don't you just tell me, if you know something?"

"Well, since you have taken so long to inquire, and because I have grown bored with enduring your suffering, I think perhaps I shall."

Harry gaped at him. He waited for further enlightenment but received nothing except the patented Snape glower.

"Well?"

"It is snowing, Mr. Potter. It is dinner time and even your owl has had the sense to fly back to the owlery for the night." An elegant brow raised and Snape turned on his heel and stalked back towards the main building of the school, his black robes flowing behind him.

Harry found himself admiring the way he glided over the snow. Phantom-like. He wondered if he would be able to move so silently when he was older and less of a gangly adolescent.

Shaking himself back to reality Harry trailed behind the Professor and back to the main hall for evening meal. Certainly he would get answers tonight. He resolved to demand information if Snape didn't offer anything soon.


	4. Chapter 4

(Note from the fearless leader: Special thanks to Lady Foxfire. You've been a super help and I'll probably implement your advice once I get a brain.)

**Many thanks to** **"ladystormrider" who provided me with a direction to take this story in. At last! Direction! But I still don't like the title of the story and I'm considering changing it. **

**Thank you, Thank you for all reviews! And please continue to let me know if you are still reading or if I'm just entertaining myself with this. **

**As always, feel free to correct me on any mistakes I may make. **

**Disclaimer: Harry Potter and all characters portrayed are not mine. I make no profit from this. **

**WARNING:**

**Also, I hope this is going to turn into slash (Harry/Severus). I've rated this "R" for now. You have been warned!**

"Sit." Severus made an offhand gesture to one of the plush black velvet chairs before his fireplace.

Harry had an appearance of being very out of place in the dungeon rooms of the Head of Slytherin.

His eyes darted around the room. Took in the dark greens, silver and black of the oriental carpet spread before the crackling fire, the books lining the walls and the few paintings that adorned the walls. He chose one of the chairs and perched on the edge of it, hands clasped between his knees.

Severus took the chair opposite, stretched long legs out before him and steepled his fingers together. He'd made certain Harry followed him back here after evening meal. Thankfully the school was empty of most students. He was certain a few of the other professor's noticed the young Gryffindor following him down to the dungeons but no comments were made.

They knew enough not to stop him. In fact, he'd been certain that he'd seen Dumbledore nod approvingly at their departure. The bastard! Had it been up to Albus, the boy would have known already what was happening. Too often he'd chastised Severus for not telling Potter yet. "So you tell him!" Snape had hissed back, only to receive that damned twinkley-eyed look. "Oh, no Severus. I'm quite sure you should be the one to have that privilege. Just don't rush him too much once you do tell him."

Privlilege! Severus snorted. He'd rather stab shards of glass under his fingernails.

He had to get this over with though. Potter was losing too much sleep and wasting away before them. They had to reverse these effects soon or certainly the boy wouldn't last.

"What I'm about to tell you, Mr. Potter, is strictly between you and I. Do you understand that?" He let his eyes bore into the younger wizard's, demanding that he understand and hold his tongue.

"Yes, sir." Harry murmured. Hands clenched together, knuckles whitening.

A log snapped and sent sparks rising into the chimney. The dancing light of the flames played across Harry's face, making him appear a wraith in the dimness of the room. Severus studied him for some time before starting.

"Some months ago you collapsed in my class."

"I know, sir."

Snape shot him a glare. "I know you know. I'm telling you what I know. Kindly be quite so that I can get this over with."

Harry nodded. Severus looked away from him, finding it easier to stare into the flames rather than the green eyes across from him.

"For quite some time now we, that is myself, Headmaster Dumbledore and a few of the other professors here, have been aware that the Dark Lord has been gaining strength. Also, that you have been having difficulties sleeping and concentrating on your studies due to the connection you share with him."

From the corner of his eye he noticed a slight nod of Harry's head.

"Professor Dumbledore has seen fit to sever that connection in the only way possible." Harry frowned, waiting for him to continue.

"And that would be, sir?" The timid voice broke in on Snape's thoughts.

"That would be by breaking the connection you share with the Dark Lord and magically linking you to another."

The firelight fluttered and reflected in Harry's glasses. The boy responded to this news with no visible sign of emotion one way or another.

"That's why my scar doesn't hurt anymore." Harry spoke to himself, unconsciously touching the scar over his eye.

"Obviously." Severus crossed his ankles and lay his arms on either side of the plush chair. He took a deep breath, preparing for whatever Harry's reaction would be to this next bit of news. "The problem lay in the fact that whomever you were to be linked to, in place of the Dark Lord, had to in fact be connected to the Dark Lord as well. In this way there would not be as much suspicion from him when the connection between you was broken. The Dark Lord would still feel your presence, it would simply be dampened, less intense."

Harry's eyes had grown larger, if that was possible. Snape plunged on, not wanting to stop this confession until it was complete.

"As you know, death eaters share a connection with the Dark Lord via the dark mark."

"Not you." Potter suddenly whispered, shaking his head, large, green eyes fixed on Snape.

"What did you say?"

"Not you." Harry repeated, voice cracking.

"Yes me. I'm the only death eater on the premises. Or, that is to say, I am the only one Professor Dumbledore trusts and apparently the only one stupid enough to let him do this!" He snapped out at Harry. The boy flinched and Severus vaguely regretted it, but mostly just felt thrilled that he could still make Potter shrink away like this.

Giving a heavy sigh he rubbed at his temples, eyes closed. 'Get yourself under control. Don't scare him too much.' His inner voice chided.

Opening his eyes he took in the sight of the Boy-Who-Lived. He was looking too pale and appeared to be shivering.

"When you say 'linked' how do you mean exactly? Professor?"

"I mean connected, Potter. Joined, bonded, coupled."

"An- And this had to be done because I was connected to Voldemort?"

Severus winced at the blatant use of the Dark Lord's name but didn't say anything about it. "Yes and no. Professor Dumbledore believed that you had a better chance of fighting against him if you could concentrate more on your studies and less on the emotions seeping through to you from the Dark Lord."

"But now I'm connected to you." It was a simple statement. Clearly the boy was having a difficult time wrapping his little brain around this concept. Severus tried not to roll his eyes. It had taken him this long to become accustomed to the fact his life was now tied to Potter's. He was making a slow progress towards behaving civil with the boy and could only imagine the time it was going to take to become more than that.

If James Potter was alive today he would certainly be having kittens. That was something else that thrilled Severus. To have that control over his rival's child. He knew that somewhere in the other world, James Potter knew this too.

"When did this happen? This change?" Harry spoke, breaking into Snape's musings. He was making a valiant effort to not lose it. That was clear.

"It was gradual. Its been happening for the past year. It's not complete yet. It wont be complete until the final element is finished. And before you ask, Mr. Potter, the final element is sexual in nature. I'm sure that you can imagine perfectly well what it is. If not, please do visit Madam Pomfrey for further detail. I'm sure she must have diagrams or some such for these sorts of questions."

Harry was gaping at him. Open mouthed like a fish out of water. "What?"

"I know you heard me. I'll not repeat it. If you have questions about anything other than what intercourse involves than ask now."

The crackling and sputtering of the fire filled the silence between them. Harry was shivering, despite the heat it provided.

Under other circumstances Severus would not have cared. But this connection was having its own effects on him. Forcing him to take more notice of Harry. Forcing him to actually become concerned about the boy's well being. Protective instincts. Something Albus would no doubt call affection or even the stirrings of love. Thus, Severus had not told Albus about this.

He stood, gathered the quilted green blanket that lay across the back of his couch and dropped it around Potter's shoulders. Received a mumbled "Thank you." And the boy wrapped it more tightly about himself.

"Why did you let Dumbledore do it? You hate me."

Dropping back down in his chair, Severus pinched the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes, willing the rising headache he had to abate. "To be honest, I had very little choice in the matter." He spoke softly so that Harry had to lean forward to catch the words. "I will tell you this. It was self-preservation more than anything else. The more access the Dark Lord has to you and your thoughts the more chance of him discovering my associations with Professor Dumbledore and just what I am doing for his cause. However, with a link forged between us I can better control the chances of that ever happening."

Another shiver slid over Harry and he clutched the blanket more closely about him. "I don't think I feel very well." He admitted.

Opening his eyes he took in the shivering form before him.

"I'm not surprised. This should have been consummated weeks ago. You wouldn't be this ill if it had been." He said this in a dull, indistinct voice. Not wanting to make this more emotional than it needed to be.

"What?" Harry's voice wavered, his eyes looking feverish.

"This has to be completed Potter. If you want to get better. This-" Snape made an encompassing gesture between Harry and himself, "-has got to be finished."

"But why aren't you sick?"

Ah, avoid the topic. Severus knew how to play that game.

"I'm older, stronger and it simply doesn't effect me that way." He refused to elaborate on the how it did affect him. The dreams, the urges to be near to Potter and this longing to touch him was getting too strong for him to avoid much longer.

"I want you to stay here tonight. Sleep on the couch or take my bed… In fact, I think you will find your illness subsides if you do sleep in my bed."

Potter was shaking his head in a firm negative to the suggestion. He stood on wobbly legs and made a move for the door. Snape stood quicker and held the boy by his shoulders.

"I didn't say I would be in the bed with you, Potter! I'm going to be up all night with a potion I have brewing anyways. Would you rather go back to your rooms? Because I can promise you, the longer you stay away from this the worst it will become, until you end up permanently in Madam Pomfrey's wing. And once that happens I am certain the Headmaster will simply have you brought to me on a stretcher."

A face, pale with shock and exhaustion stared up at him. "Make the decision Potter. Come willingly or be dragged back to me in front of the rest of the school."

Harry scowled at him. Let Severus turn him around, the blanket trailing behind him, and urge him forward with a firm hand on his back, towards the bedroom. "You perhaps wont sleep as you should but I can promise it will not be as restless as it is in your own rooms… so far away."


	5. Chapter 5

(Author's Note from the smiley face of the century: Sorry I couldn't post last week, but it was a holiday and so the place where I post –Hebrew College- Was closed ;; Sorry. Every time I don't have Tuesday classes, there probably wont be a post.)

A/N

**I have a new title I like better. Now, let me see if will let me change my title. It's going to be "Necessary Affections"**

**Wow! I got a lot of reviews on that last chapter. Thanks to every one still reading. And some of you are evil. Wanting poor Harry to be dragged to Snape on a stretcher. **

**Actually, I don't think that idea is going to be too far off from what's going to actually happen. I'm evil like that too. **

**As always, please correct me on any misspellings, etc. Thanks to those who pointed out I was spelling Voldemort and Gryffindor wrong. I was too lazy to look up the spellings myself.**

**DISCLAIMER: Harry Potter and all characters portrayed are not mine. I make no profit from this. **

**WARNING: Also, I hope this is going to turn into slash (Harry/Severus). I've rated this "R" for now. You have been warned!**

He was in Snape's bed. SNAPE'S bed!

There was a sliver of light glowing beneath the crack of the door that separated this room from the main room. Harry focused on that light and not on the rest of the room. He'd taken it all in as he changed silently into a long nightshirt. One of Snape's.

He was in Snape's bed. He was in Snape's nightshirt. This wasn't right. How did this happen again?

Oh, yes. Dumbledore.

Harry considered just what he would say to Dumbledore when he had a chance. How could he convince the man that he was at his wit's end with his interfering? His thoughts ran in circles with everything Snape had explained.

Soon he gave up the fight and let his eyes close. Sleep came much more quickly than usual.

The odd thing about sleep: if you can manage to get a full night of it then you're reluctant to go back to fitful, feverish nights in your own bed. This is why Harry had returned to Snape's dungeon rooms each night for the past week. His own pillow clutched to his chest.

Snape just raised an eyebrow the first night he returned but made a broad sweeping gesture towards his bedroom and Harry walked quickly to the room, dressed in the nightshirt and climbed into the bed. It was a rather tall bed, and he had to jump a bit to climb onto it. The next night there was a small stepstool beside the bed. He hated to think it was for him that it was there. But obviously Snape didn't need it. And besides, Snape didn't even sleep in this bed much since Harry was around. So far as Harry could discern the Professor slept on the couch in other room or didn't sleep at all.

Harry found it much easier to tell himself he was only sleeping well because there was an adult wizard closer to him. Just in case Voldemort decided to pop into the room while Harry slept, he could just scream and then Snape would be there.

Rationalization was a fine ally. And maybe he wasn't feeling so sickly any more because… because he was eating better now.

Still, it would be difficult to explain his new sleeping arrangements to Ron and Hermione when they returned. Which happened to be today.

Harry groaned at the thought and buried himself more deeply in the thick, down comforter that covered him. The room was quite warm with the fire burning and the very faint smell of herbs in the air, from whatever potion Snape had been up with the previous night. Eucalyptus, ginger… some other warm smell that made Harry want to curl back into a ball and sleep more. He did not want to get out of this bed and face the day.

"As much as I enjoy having you in my bed Potter, I do think it would be difficult to explain to the Headmaster and Professor McGonagall why you are still in it when I go down to the Great Hall for breakfast and you are absent."

Harry clenched his fists in the comforter and fought the urge to snap back a cheeky response to Snape.

"Then again…" The Potions Professor continued casually, "I could simply tell them you were exhausted from my ravishing you all night and you needed a sleep in."

Harry was instantly up and on his feet beside the bed, smoothing down the long nightshirt that he slept in. Snape's. He hadn't found a way to rationalize wearing it yet. But he was working on that.

"I didn't think you would want me telling them that." Snape was standing at the foot of the bed, arms crossed over his chest and the black robes wrapped about his form, as usual. "Get dressed, get upstairs and eat." With a swirl of black, Snape left the rooms and Harry was alone.

The last thing he wanted was Snape telling the other staff that this bond thing was completed. While he had managed to stop flinching whenever Snape passed him in the halls or spoke harshly, he had not come even remotely close to accepting that some kind of intimacy was going to occur between them. Though he did catch himself gazing at the man far more than he used to. He had the deepest, blackest eyes Harry had ever seen. He wondered if he even had pupils or if it was just all ink-black irises. As black as his hair. Which Harry had learned, now that he spent more time with the man, was extremely shiny and silken.

At moments like this, when he found himself gazing across the table at mealtimes towards him or settled in a chair across from him in Snape's rooms, Harry had to shake himself out of the infectious thoughts. Return to his meal or his reading. Something he did more often as well over the past week. Read beside the fire in Snape's rooms before he went to bed.

"Harry!" Hermione was the first to greet him as he entered the Great Hall. She had returned earlier than Ron and for some reason Harry was thankful for this. He knew that Hermione would be the easiest one to discuss this magical link thing with. He settled at the table beside her and reached for a plate, piling it with eggs, bacon and toast. Hermione's eyes were wide as she took in the plate before him.

"Well, I'm happy to see someone has his appetite back."

Harry looked up from his plate, mouth full of toast. He suddenly felt rather sheepish about having his appetite back.

"Did Madam Pomfrey find out what was wrong with you?" Hermione pushed, pouring more tea into her cup and nibbling at a slice of banana bread.

"Umm… yeah, sort of." Harry wished he didn't have to say anything but keeping this to himself was weighing on him. He needed some one to talk to about it. Some one who was not the Headmaster or a school nurse or a potions professor.

"About that… I have to talk to you."

Hermione looked instantly concerned. "Okay. Now?"  
"No." Harry immediately replied, glancing up at the head table to see Professor Snape reading the Daily Prophet with a cup of tea before him and a plate of uneaten toast. Of course at the moment Harry looked, the Professor glanced up from his paper and both made eye contact.

Harry blushed. He turned quickly from the eyes that burned into his own and took several large gulps of pumpkin juice.

Damn! Damn! Damn! Why was this happening to him? There had to be a way to reverse it.

Hermione looked curiously at the head table, eyes darting over Snape and then back to the flustered Harry.

"Okay. You finish breakfast and then we are going to find a secluded room and you are going to tell me what that was all about."

"What?"

She gave him a look that said, 'You know what and don't think I didn't just see something.'

"Yeah, right. After breakfast." Harry resigned himself to telling her all of it. As difficult as it would be, he truly wanted her view on this.


	6. Chapter 6

(Note from the anti-genius: Hey everyone. Welcome to chapter 6. The only reason I'm posting this is because I've gotten so many stupid emails saying post. I'm greatful, but the fact is, I post on Tuesdays because I use my Hebrew Class computers. If you have a problem with the Jewish schedules, tough, but the fact is, I shouldn't even be posting this. Today is a holiday and I came home from it with a headache and the greatest desire in the world to sleep. Please understand that this is all very hard for me and being Jewish restricts the days I can post. Next week is a definite posting day... I think.)

Thank you for the continued reviews and comments. Some one tell me if I spelled Seamus' name wrong. I don't think I did.

Sorry they were getting along too well Oldone. I think the situation will be remedied after this chapter. : )

DISCLAIMER: Harry Potter and all characters portrayed are not mine. I make no profit from this.

WARNING: Also, I hope this is going to turn into slash (Harry/Severus). I've rated this "R" for now. And the next few chapters could get violent and non-consenting in nature. You have been warned!

"You're what?" Hermione asked for the second time since Harry had confessed everything that had happened in the past few weeks.

"Bonded or linked or something." Harry repeated and hoped she wouldn't ask again. She was not taking it as well as he had wanted.

"But Harry, you are a student and he is a professor and this has got to be breaking like a hundred school rules, not to mention the fact that…" Harry held up a hand for her to stop the lecture. His head was starting to ache again.

Hermione took a deep breath and looked away from him. They were perched on a pile of pillows that lay across the floor in an extra classroom.

"Its not like I chose this you know. I'm not exactly enjoying it."

"But you aren't sick anymore." Hermione stated, her eyes narrowing as she regarded him once more. "You look better. You sleep now, yes?"  
"Yes." Harry reluctantly answered. "But only because I feel safer with a grown wizard around. That's all it is."  
"But it's him."

Harry looked puzzled. "I know it's him."

"But Harry, if it was say… Professor Flitwick. Then would you feel so safe still?"

Harry felt something like a rock drop in his stomach. "No. I suppose not." He had to admit, the idea of Professor Flitwick was not as reassuring as that of the Potions Master. What could Professor Flitwick do if Voldemort showed up suddenly? Drape him in magical tinsel and float things around the room to distract him?

"Harry," Hermione started and then stopped. She was at a loss for what to say. "Its just a little hard to get used to."

"Tell me about it." Harry dropped his head into his hands with a heavy sigh.

"What are you going to do? Tonight, I mean? Will you go back there?"

He hadn't thought of that. What would he do? He couldn't just sneak out for the entire night and not think Ron or the others would notice. And he was not ready to tell them about this either.

"Hermione! You promise not to tell any one! Snape made me swear I wouldn't tell. If it gets around, I don't know what he will do."

"Who would I tell? I'm not going near Ron with this."

The headache was getting worse by the minute. Ron was a whole other issue that Harry did not want to deal with.

"I don't know." He said softly. More to himself than to Hermione, who was looking very concerned for him now. "I don't know what to do."

"Well…" She said, taking on her honor student's voice. "I'll see what I can learn about magical bonds in the library."

Harry shrugged and thanked her for the offer. "I don't know what you'll find. I mean its done and there is no way out."

"Still, its good to know what you are facing, isn't it?" Hermione stood and held out a hand to help him up. "We better get back, Ron and the others will be returned by now."

The night had been Hell. All the sounds of the room were keeping him awake. Neville's soft snoring and the other boys murmuring in their sleep or the wind blowing against the window and whistling through the cracks in the sill. There were no muffled noises, from the other room, of potions being made or the fire crackling or of Snape talking to himself while he brewed a particularly difficult potion or reviewed student essays.

Harry tossed and turned and then gave up and remained awake for the rest of the night wrapped in his blanket and watching the darkness outside the window.

That morning his appetite was decidedly less than it had been for the past week. "I thought you said he was eating again." Ron said to Hermione, as if Harry wasn't there to hear.

"He was eating again." Hermione frowned at Harry from across the table. She glanced over at the head table but Professor Snape was not there. Harry already knew that because the head table was the first place he looked when he entered.

Classes were slow and difficult to concentrate on. And it was oddly disappointing that he did not have Potions today.

At evening meal he tried to eat more than just the roll on his plate. Only because Hermione was giving him the evil mother hen look all throughout. But he knew he would regret eating, even the little bit that he did.

Again Professor Snape was not at the head table for the meal.

Making excuses to Ron about being too tired to play a game of chess before bed, Harry retired early. As he lay in bed he considered stuffing pillows under the covers and sneaking out under the invisibility cloak to Snape's rooms.

Once morning arrived the game would be up though. How would he get back here before everyone awoke? He couldn't rely on himself to wake up that early.

Anxiety filled him at the idea that this bond thing might be the death of him. Why hadn't the man been at the meals today? Harry felt certain that if he could at least see the other wizard than he would feel some measure of relief from this tension that was building.

Perhaps it was the stress of the day or the fact that he hadn't slept the night before. Soon he fell into a fitful sleep. He woke, after what felt like only minutes, rolled over to the side of the bed and vomited on the floor. And consequently woke the others in the room up with his moaning.

"Are you okay, mate?" Ron was at his side, kneeling on the bed beside him.

"He needs to go back to the hospital ward."

"No!" Harry grabbed for Ron and held onto his arm. "Not there again."

"But you're sick, Harry."

"No, I just need…"

"I'm going to get Professor McGonagall." Neville scurried out of the room.

"You're all clammy." Ron commented. Harry didn't respond. He was too weak to do more than lay back on his pillows and pray the room would stop spinning.

Minutes passed, but seemed like hours to Harry. He didn't want to go back to the hospital wing. He didn't want to have to lay in there with Madam Pomfrey fussing over him and people coming in and out to talk to him and ask him when he would be better.

"Move out of the way." It was the all too familiar voice of not Professor McGonagall but Snape.

Ron looked at him with wide eyes but didn't move immediately. "Neville! That's not McGonagall." Seamus spoke the obvious. Neville stood as far from Snape as he could.

"She called him here herself." Neville squeaked.

Professor McGonagall appeared then, moving over to the bed and ushering the other boys away.

Harry was too stunned by the sudden appearance of the last person he expected to be in Gryfinndor rooms to pay any attention to them.

"Do you want to force me, Harry?" Snape was leaning over him, cool hand brushing the sweat dampened hair back off his forehead.

"Force you, Sir?" The touch to his forehead was like being immediately submerged in a warm bath. He could feel the illness draining from him.

"Force me to do things you obviously don't want me to do!" Snape hissed.

Harry could hear the other boys in the room arguing with Professor McGonagall about the presence of the Head of Slytherin in their rooms.

"I'm taking him with me." Snape announce, and with no further explanation, he roughly wrapped Harry in one of the blankets and lifted him with an effortlessness that seemed to shock the other boys in the room into silence. They watched, awestruck as Harry was removed from their presence with no argument at all from Professor McGonagall. She simply held the portrait entrance open for them to leave.

There was an eruption of voices once the portrait closed and they were both out. Harry couldn't make out all the separate words being yelled, Snape was moving too quickly away, towards the dungeons.

There was definitely a determined sort of anger in Snape. He could almost feel it radiating from him as he held Harry with perhaps a bit too much strength. Causing the younger wizard to try and wriggle into a better position and get more air into his constricted lungs.

Snape didn't seem to like that. He held Harry tighter and took longer strides towards his rooms. "Don't even think about it!" He snarled against Harry's ear, causing him to shiver with something akin to dread.


	7. Chapter 7

(Note from from the wannabe Japanese lady - HEY! Meru here (dressed up as a geisha for Halloween... or at least during school. I got a severe migraine and couldn't go T&Ting, so my brother went from door to door saying "My sister is sick, can I have candy for her." Anyway, here's the next chapter. Don't know which one it is, I'm still copying and pasting. Also, if you want a little fluff, check out my other step-story: Vicarious Life. Thing is, I couldn't post on that one this week either because I left the floppy disk at home covers head hope they don't kill me.)

What is it with FF. Net? Three days it was down! Sheesh! At least some of you get your wish for a longer chapter, because of it.

I wonder if I could get some more feedback, because I don't think my mailbox is flooded enough from that last chapter. Just kidding! I'm worried about this chapter. It's my first real slash. :)

**DISCLAIMER: **Harry Potter and all characters portrayed are not mine. I make no profit from this.

**WARNING: **Also, this is **slash** (Harry/Severus). I've rated this "R" for now. And the next few chapters could get **violent and non-consenting in nature**… okay, let me just put **rape** here too. Just to be sure no one freaks out. I was unaware of the huge debate about the definitions of those two, until I posted this. **You have been warned!**

**Also, because Stonecoldfox found me out, I wanted to put a note on this chapter that the speech Snape gives to Harry was totally inspired by The Closet Land. I LOVE that movie! I watch it all the time. Alan is so Snape in that movie. Go rent it. I had to buy it but it was worth the money. J**

Harry was on the floor before the blaze of the fire in the main room. He was in one of Severus' nightshirts again. He had unceremoniously shoved the boy into his bathroom, turned on the steaming water of the shower and told him to wash. Then left young Harry standing alone and apprehensive in the steam of the room.

Back in the main room he'd had a house elf deliver some food. Harry emerged from the bathroom, hair alternately spiky and flat with dampness. Skin pink from the hot water.

"Sit down, in front of the fire." Severus ordered. Harry scowled at being ordered to do something but complied, wrapping arms around his knees, which were drawn up close to his chest in an obvious protective posture.

It irritated him to see the boy weak like this. It was not his nature to be this way. He made Harry eat some bread and cheese then drink some soup.

Settled on the floor across from him, Severus took in the tired and frail appearance of what had been the infamous bright star in Gryffindor. The best Seeker in Hogwarts history and one of the worst potions students he'd ever had the misfortune to try and teach.

"I'm not playing this game any more, Harry." Severus spoke, breaking the long silence that had descended upon them.

Wary green eyes met his own. "Sir?"

"This waiting. Watching you struggle against the inevitable. This bond _will_ be formed, Harry."

The green eyes looked suddenly uneasy. Harry tightened his arms around his legs and scooted back a bit further from Severus.

"I would like to send an owl to my Godfather."

"No."

"No?"

"You heard me."

A look of defiance from him and then, "I would like to talk to Professor Dumbledore than. Sir."

"There will be no owls. No Professor Dumbledore. No more running to your Gryffindor friends or any one else. Its me now Harry. You have to learn to trust _me_." He leaned forward slightly, forcing Harry to make eye contact and continued in a deceptively calm tone.

"I'm advising you, Mr. Potter, to distance yourself from what is about to happen. Do not look at me as your Professor or the Head of Slytherin. I will not be thinking of you as a student or the great celebrity you are. From now on, when we are alone, you are Harry, I am Severus."

"Both of us are in this as one now. Both of us have been manipulated and pushed together for various reasons." He moved a bit closer to the boy. By this point Harry had his back to one of the chairs with little chance of moving further away.

"We must complete this. I will help you through it, because I must. But you have to accept your part too I will not tolerate any more of your avoidance, your blatant stupidity, your rationalizations." A small, almost shocked, gasp escaped Harry.

Severus raised one fine black eyebrow at this. "Amusing as it has been to watch this… I'll have no more of it. A bit of timidity I can understand and you may expect some amount of gentleness tempered with discipline in such instances. Clearly you are too young and inexperienced to deal with this. However, it is for me to know when to be the compassionate mate and when to be forceful."

Harry made a sound at the back of his throat, as though to disagree with this statement. Severus gave him a sharp glare and dared him to speak back.

The boy stared at him with open mouth, eyes large behind glasses. He closed his mouth but continued to defiantly hold Severus' gaze.

"We are both victims here, Pott… Harry. Just you keep remembering that. I am not the villain. In fact, I am about to be your very dearest friend, and a few other things besides."

Harry shivered and looked away quickly. Flushed.

"Are you feverish still?"

"No."

He was lying. Severus knew this because he felt it. He knew when this boy was lying, when he was sad, happy, angry. Everything. It was an irritating sensation that was always at the back of his head. 'How is the golden boy feeling right now?'

He made a sudden lunged for Harry, perhaps too abruptly, but didn't want to give him a chance to dart out of reach. The boy struggled of course. "No!" He tried, unsuccessfully to kick at Severus but was too tangled in nightshirt to be very effective. He spit instead.

Severus slapped him. Not too brutal, just enough to sting and make him still his struggles. He lay a hand against Harry's forehead and it was indeed hot. Whispering a quick incantation he could feel the heat ebb away a bit.

Shoving the boy unceremoniously away he stood, loomed over him for just a moment and then moved away. "You can just answer my questions, you know. Its not difficult."

Anger radiated from Harry. He was attempting to regain some composure from the assault.

Severus felt a twinge of guilt. There was no need to be so harsh with the boy. But he wanted to establish his dominance in this bond.

He'd had this mental debate with himself before. The fact still remained. This had to be done. Even that little struggle was enough to arouse him. He had to move away or hurt the boy even more. For weeks he'd been fighting his own battle with this bond. It was almost to the point that just the sight of Harry made him ache with need. And that was why he hadn't taken his meals in the Great Hall for the past day. Harry's absence from his rooms the previous night had made this desire all the more palpable.

Dumbledore was going to be angry when he learned of the force he was going to use. Of course, by time Albus learned of this it would be too late to stop it. Severus was sure that in Albus' mind this whole magical bonding thing would be completed with romantic candlelight, chocolate hearts and rose petals. How terribly incorrect he was. He wondered if the man would of pushed them into this if he knew just how the final element was about to be completed.

But there could be no way around it. The boy was taking too long to come to Severus on his own. He would be dead before they could finalize this link. There was no time for any such courting rituals. Not with the Dark Lord growing stronger by the day. This had to stabilize.

Digging through a glass cabinet, full of one of his many stocks of bottled potions, Severus chose a small vial, a label written in Latin identified it as the one he was looking for.

Returning to Potter, who was still keeping a watchful eye on the Potions Master, he removed the cork from the potion and held it out to the boy. "Drink."

When Potter made no move to take the tiny bottle of blue liquid Severus gave a sigh of frustration. "You really do _not_ want to make me angry right now, Harry. Trust me. You are going to wish you had taken this."

"What is it?"

"It's a sedative…" Harry frowned at the small vial but took it, smelled the contents and then, eyes still on Severus, drank the contents in one gulp.

"And an aphrodisiac as well." Severus finished. The look he received at this was priceless.

"I hate you!" Harry threw the vial at him. Missing its mark it smashed against the bricks of the fireplace instead.

"That will change." Dropping his outer robes, Severus knelt before Harry, chest bare and only his trousers remaining on. He held out a hand for Harry to accept. He would offer him the chance to come willingly. Though he knew full well Harry wouldn't accept it.

"Don't touch me!" Harry snarled, eyes filled with fury.

Severus lunged and grabbed him by the arms, wrestling thin wrists above his head and pressing Harry back to the floor. "Relax! Don't make me hurt you."

"No! I can't do this yet! Please don't make me do this!" more struggling but it was pointless. The boy was so weakened from weeks of illness that physical resistance was little more than show. Something to demonstrate that he didn't want this.

"If you _relax_ this will not hurt. If you continue to _struggle_ I will make it fast and hard and spend very little effort on worrying about what you are going through." He hissed against Harry's ear. The boy's resistance calmed. Whether this was from what Severus had just said or from the sedative kicking in, he didn't know.

He lifted himself up slightly, looked down on Harry, who was the epitome of a defeated young man. Hair tousled, liquid green eyes full of fear and a guarded amount of anticipation.

"The pain will not last. It's the waiting that is making you unreasonably edgy." He released one of the slim wrists, slid his fingers through the soft, damp black hair of Harry's head. Pushed it back from his forehead. The scar there was unusually dark. Standing out against the boy's overly pale complexion. One gentle kiss was placed on that forehead and a shiver ran though Harry's body at the contact.

This would perhaps be a little less difficult than he had thought.

Removing the glasses and then going to work on the few buttons of the nightshirt he pulled it roughly from the boy's body. Leaving Harry nude beneath him. His own trousers he removed quickly enough.

There were a few whimpers from Harry as he rested over him. Skin to skin at last. They were both painfully aroused. He reached down and wrapped one long fingered hand around Harry, received a gasp of surprise for his effort. He took up a slow, tight gripped rhythm and was rewarded with breathless whimpering. It thrilled him to know he produced this kind of need in the younger man. He knew he was the first to do this to Harry and he would be the only one as well. He would mark him and make sure the younger man remembered it.

The entire act took more time than he had expected. Once he'd seen Harry into a state of relaxation with one climax he prepared him. This took longer than anticipated. But with coaxing and even a bit of insistence on his part he finally entered the young man. He went slowly at first, not wanting to cause too much pain. But it was obvious, at least for this first time, that pain was inevitable.

Tears streamed from the corners of Harry's eyes and this spurred him on to finish it. He was in no mood for turning this into a long love-making session anyways. This needed to be completed so that they could adjust to whatever this bond was going to do to them. Quickening his pace, he angled his thrusting so that he hit just the right spot and caused Harry to cling to him in a forced ecstasy. An overwhelming need filled him at the sound of the soft whimpers, the quickened breathing and nails digging into his back. "Please, please, please…" It was a barely audible mantra coming from Harry.

"Please what? Stop?" Severus growled in a roughened voice. Though he had not intention of stopping.

"No!" Harry wrapped himself more tightly around him, if that was possible.

Severus almost laughed at this desperation but was too enthralled with the feel of Harry beneath him and around him. The taste of him and the soft needy sounds he made.

Despite his insistence that Severus not stop, he was clearly not entirely enjoying this experience. He could feel the pain and an excess of confused emotions that filled Harry. His body wanted this, his mind was not entirely sure what it wanted.

Severus moved with quicker, shorter strokes, timing it just right, so that both of them reached completion at the same time, as was necessary for the final element of the bond to stabilize. Covering Harry's mouth with his own and drawing the gasps of pleasure into himself, even as he groaned with his own climax. He had just enough thought process left to collapse to the side of Harry and not on top of him, the fingers of one hand still clinging to the dark hair of the boy's head.

The younger wizard was shivering and curled against him. Severus summoned a blanket to them and covered them both. Spoke some words to make the fire burn more strongly in the fireplace.

Through the haze of relaxed pleasure he could feel that things were definitely different now. Harry clung to him, as if his life depended upon it. And as for himself, there was an overwhelming need to protect and sooth. It replaced the lust, which had been there previously.

Harry however, was almost in a state of hyperventilation. Severus could feel the boy's heart beating too rapidly against him. "Breath. It will pass." He spoke in a low voice, smoothed the damp hair from Harry's forehead, whispered a few words of relaxation in Latin and watched as the eyes closed. "Calm down." He continued to whisper, running soothing fingers through damp hair. Slowly Harry's breathing became less erratic, his heart slowed to a more normal rate and the shaking stopped. Only a slight hitch in his breath now and then.

"Better?"

A small nod from Harry in response.

(A/N: I really don't mean to always leave at cliffhangers. It's just that the chapters keep ending that way. Next bit will be from Harry's point of view. I'll try to write quickly.)


	8. Chapter 8

(step-author's note: Can't write too much, gotta get to my next Hebrew College class and I've got... 30 seconds to get down a set of stairs and down a long hall to a class that is about NOTHING! Well... that is if Sci-Fi in Judaism is nothing... :;; Enjoy the next chapter of nec affec - I DIDN'T WRITE THIS CHAPTER EITHER! heart)

Sorry. I hit a road block in writing. It tends to happen when I come across another fan fic that is perfectly written, such as Cybele's "Are You Prepared." Then I think, 'what am I doing? I'm nothing compared to this writing. Why bother trying any more?'

BTW people, please read the warnings. The bold parts that say rape, non-consenting and slash?

DISCLAIMER: Harry Potter and all characters portrayed are not mine. I make no profit from this.

**WARNING: **This is **slash** (Harry/Severus). I've rated this "R", hint, hint. And there is some **violent and non-consenting situations**… okay, let me just put **rape** here too. Just to be sure no one freaks out. **You have been warned! **

**Don't worry it won't stay non-consenting. It just has to start that way because otherwise it would be a dull plot. What little plot there is. **

Okay… let me try and make it all better. 

The morning was too bright in Harry's opinion. The sun was high and the sky blue with wispy traces of clouds. The air, crisp and cold.

Harry's Gryffindor class and the Slytherins were outside Hagrid's hut for another Care of Magical Creatures class.

This month's topic was Faeries and all the various breeds thereof. Today's faeries were the tiniest that Harry had yet to see. Like mini butterflies. He was afraid to touch them. But there were enough of them to go around. The students were paired up with one small faerie to each pair.

Harry was with Hermione today and she'd been giving him the 'look' all morning. He'd done a fine job of avoiding any direct questions thus far. He looked over at the Slytherins who were laughing at a small tussle that appeared to be taking place between two faeries tangled together in one another's wings.

"What is wrong with you? Why did Professor Snape take you last night?" Hermione asked under her breath, so as not to draw attention. All morning Harry had been asked this question by the other Gryffindors. He'd shrugged off any answer. Told them Professor Snape had potions that made him better. They gave him odd looks but didn't press for further answers.

"I told you."

"No. You just put me off, along with every one else. You know I'm smarter than that, Harry. Besides, I know the truth of what's going on between you two. Remember?"

He blushed and looked back at their faerie. Truth was, he had forgotten. In fact, his mind hadn't exactly been in the present at all. He'd woken up in Snape's bed with no memory of being placed in it last night. Snape was perched on the foot of the bed. Already dressed for the day. Eyes fixed on Harry. He had a strong feeling that he'd been watched like that for most of the night. His mind had been drifting all morning with everything that happened. There were few words between him and Severus this morning.

Hermione sighed and brought his mind back to the present.

Their Faerie was cleaning it's green gossamer wings with quick and delicate fingers. It sat on the head of a Dandelion and didn't seem to take notice Harry or Hermione at all.

"Do you feel better?" Hermione pushed.

" Yes. No – I mean…" He searched for words. He didn't feel sick anymore. He didn't feel that strange pulling feeling anymore. He felt lighter somehow. But he also felt wrong. He felt guilty and didn't know why. It wasn't like he'd seduced Snape or anything.

Severus. He mentally corrected himself.

This was all so complicated. He felt a light hand on his shoulder and looked up to see Hermione's eyes fixed on him. Asking him to share with her. He had to talk to someone. And since she already knew the background…

"He – We… ummm… its complete now. The bond, I mean." Harry mumbled, fixing his eyes on the small faerie. It was plucking tiny yellow petals from the Dandelion flower and sprinkling them to the ground.

"Oh." Hermione's brows knitted in thought and then her eyes grew large. "Oh! But Harry –" quickly he covered her mouth with his hand so as to stop any further words.

"Not so loud. You are the only one to know. I really don't need this getting around."

"Of course not." Hermione looked affronted that he even considered that she would tell anyone.

Hagrid was talking about the feeding habits of this breed of Faeries and they pretended to listen. Hermione's eyes looking concerned as she glanced over at her friend every few moments.

"But I didn't think you wanted that yet." Hermione spoke under her breath as the classes walked back over the snow-covered grounds to the main entrance of Hogwarts.

"I didn't."

"But… Harry, did he force you?" She reached out and grabbed at his arm, making him stop just before the entrance. The other students had been well ahead of them and it was just the two of them outside now.

"Well… at first, yes. But I didn't exactly fight too much towards the end, I mean… it wasn't so bad." He looked down at his feet, avoiding her eyes. He'd done a good job of forgetting that any of it had happened. Except for the bruises. Those reminded him.

His friend was frowning at him, shaking her head lightly.

"You HAVE to tell Dumbledore."  
"No!" He shook her hand from his arm and stepped back. "No. He's meddled enough. He's the reason this happened. I don't want to talk to him at _all_!"

"But Harry! He raped you!" Hermione's voice was low and angry.

"I'll get over it!" He turned on his heel and walked through the entrance doors. So determined was he to avoid any more of this discussion with Hermione that he didn't notice the very object of his troubles standing in his path.

"I've been looking for you."

Harry jumped at the sound of that voice. Looked up at the man he'd spent the night with. A sudden and very vivid memory came to him of how soft all that black hair was, when tangled in his fingers. Severus gave a slight tilt to his head and stared down at him. Harry felt his breath catch at the imposing and regal picture the man posed. Then chastised himself for feeling anything other than anger towards this man.

"I was just coming back from Care of Magical Creatures." He answered. "I have classes, you know."

Oddly, there was no reprimand for his harsh tone. "The Headmaster wants to see you."

He felt all the heat drain from his face. "Why?"

"I think we both can guess why." Eyes like black midnight continued to stare down at him. He had an overwhelming urge to throw himself at the Potions Master. To beg not to make him go see the Headmaster. To plead for protection. At the same time, a small voice at the back of his mind asked him what he was thinking. Why would he throw himself at this man who had hurt him?

"Harry." Severus spoke softly. So softly that he had to strain to hear. "I'll be there too. Trust me."

"Why would I trust you?"

Something like hurt crossed the professor's expression but was immediately covered again by his usual mask.

"Follow me." Severus turned, with billowing robes, and headed for the Headmaster's quarters.

Harry looked over his shoulder to see Hermione standing in the doorway, focused on him. "Tell him." She mouthed and then moved across the entrance and into the main hall for the lunch hour meal.

"Pixy Sticks." Severus drawled, sneer firmly in place.

The entrance to the Headmaster's office opened and they both ascend the moving stairway, entering the large chambers together.

"Ah Severus. And Harry!" The Headmaster was sitting behind his desk, tea set and prepared.

Harry felt his stomach flop and kept close to Severus, despite his mounting feelings of betrayal towards the Potions Master, the anger for Dumbledore overshadowed it.

He couldn't bring himself to look up into the twinkling eyes as he settled in one of the two chairs front of the desk.

The tea was poured for them, biscuits offered and refused.

Harry leaned towards Snape's chair, unaware he was doing so.

"Professor Snape informs me, Harry, that he has told you about the bond."

"Yes, Sir." Eyes fixed firmly on the wall behind the Headmaster.

"And I felt that perhaps, if you have any questions, you might like to talk about it."

"We've already talked. Professor Snape and I."

"Yes, he told me that. But I'm curious Harry about your feelings."

Anger overpowered any sense of politeness he had remaining. "Thank you, Sir. Seems a bit late to be asking!" He ground out between clenched teeth.

"Harry." Severus warned.

"What? You think I should share my feelings with him?" Snape scowled at him but didn't make any further comment.

"I understand you are angry Harry. But it was done in your best interest."

"Oh, yes, my best interest. So being bonded to another wizard for the rest of my life, without consulting me first, being sick for months on end and then being raped in order to complete the whole thing, that is my best interest!" His voice raised more loudly than he intended.

The shocked look on the Headmaster's face was almost worth the indignity he was feeling just now.

There was no more twinkle in the eyes. They were fixed firmly on Severus. Harry glanced up to get the other wizard's reaction. There wasn't one. Severus kept a steady façade up.

"You forced him?" Dumbledore was actually taken off guard for once. Harry had never witnessed him this way. Usually he seemed to know everything before it happened.

"You forced us both." Severus returned. Harry had to admire that comeback.

"Severus… Harry perhaps you should return to your classes."

"He has no classes right now. He has lunch and then Potions." Severus answered before Harry could speak for himself.

Silence filled the room. Fawks ruffled his feathers and Harry continued to watch the looks that passed between the two older wizards. Dumbledore was not pleased at all. Severus was glaring at the man, daring him to say anything.

"Why would you do that Severus?"

"Oh come off it Albus!" Snape snarled. "You saw him withering away before us! You saw me fighting every urge I had to not touch him. I could only wait so long before something had to be done. What were you expecting? A flowery wedding and a honeymoon?"

Dumbledore was looking at Harry again, concern radiating from him. "Harry, are you all right?"

"No." Harry answered.

"He will be fine." Severus said more softly, looking at Harry as well. "Just give the bond time to settle in."

Harry looked at him from the corner of his eye and wanted suddenly to believe this. He wanted to just be normal again. Well… as normal as he was.

"There is nothing do be done for it now, Albus. I'm sorry I had to force him but it was beyond my own control. I was at a loss for what else to do."

Dumbledore was frowning at both of them now. "I'm sorry Harry. It shouldn't have been this way."

"May we go now?" Snape ground out, standing and gesturing for Harry to do the same.

"Of course. Harry, if you need to speak to anyone, Professor McGonnagall or – "

"I'll be fine, Sir. I don't want to talk to anyone about it any more." He took an unconscious step closer to Severus, still unable to meet the Headmaster's eyes.

A hand was placed on his back and he leaned into it for just a moment before realizing it was Severus'. He shrugged it off and moved towards the stairs.


	9. Chapter 9

** Heavy Sigh This was hard to write. I went over it and over it and I'm sick of it now. So here it is. **

**I'm always worried I'm unconsciously plagiarizing some other fic writer's stuff. I hope I haven't done that. This bonding theme has been used so often that its hard not to. I mean, its okay to steal J.K. Rowling's characters and use them but stealing another fanfic writer's stuff? That would be awful! **

**Thank you for all the feedback. I feel unworthy. : ) Maybe I'll get used to it some day. Sorry I can't answer it all. I try to reply to what I can. **

**DISCLAIMER: **Harry Potter and all characters portrayed are not mine. I make no profit from this.

**WARNING: **This is **slash** (Harry/Severus). I've rated this "R", hint, hint. And there is some **violent and non-consenting situations**. **You have been warned!**

He had to pick today to do this particular potion with this particular class? The infamous Fire and Brimstone mixture. This was the potion that the sixth and seventh year students warned all lower classes about. One dreaded by every Hogwarts student throughout history.

Severus tried to ignore his building headache and the tension filled class. He needed to set aside Harry and himself for just this one period.

Unfortunately, not thinking about Harry was becoming more and more difficult. He had hoped that consummating this damned bond would settle these emotions. Instead, it just added a new layer to them. Now, he had not just lust to deal with but this terrible feeling mixed with it. A feeling that had taken him several hours last night to put a name to. Several hours of sitting on the bed beside Harry and watching the boy curled under the blankets in deep sleep.

It was an irresistible adoration, which he _refused_ to label as love.

And now he had to teach this class and never mind that the object of adoration was sitting in the third row, clear green eyes fixed upon him.

In fact, every eye in the class was fixed upon him, just as they should be. He'd threatened them enough with dire consequences should they fail to get this particular mixture just right.

Burns from hot reaction mixtures would be imminent.

Poisonous, toxic gases would abound.

And he'd warned them in a quiet and menacing tone, not to breath any resultant smokes that may be produced. He did not however, enlighten them as to what would happen if they breathed said smoke. As a general rule, the imagination provided enough terror of its own. Which just made his work a little easier.

Yes, they were all too terrified to touch a single ingredient without his first instruction to do so. And even then, they went about it with tentative movements. Even the Slytherins, who for the most part, were quite daring in the Potions arena. Draco was fiercely concentrating on his own mixture. Crabbe and Goyle following his every move.

Severus stood at the front of the class and watched. Tried not to watch one particular student too much. But it was almost impossible not to.

"Potter. Mix the sulfur with the zinc, not the risin!"

The boy froze in mid-movement, placing the small container of the toxin back on the table and stepping back from it. He looked up and Severus felt the heat of those green eyes fix on him, frustrated irritation behind them.

The Weasley boy was looking askance at his own mixture, which was glowing blue with heat.

Maybe he should just be done with it and move Harry closer. If he accomplished it in just the right way, no one would suspect anything out of the ordinary.

"Potter! Collect your stuff and get up here to this front desk where I can keep you from blowing up my classroom!" He pointed at the desk in front of his own. Harry was glaring at him, not moving. Weasley and Granger both similarly outraged.

"NOW!" He yelled, startling some of the other students. The boy jumped, quickly gathered his ingredients and notes and stomped up to the front desk. He began to set himself up once more while across from him Draco was smirking.

After a short circuit around the room, making certain the other students were still on track, Severus returned to the front. Rested against Harry's table and watched him start in on the potion again.

"Mix the zinc and the sulfur in the dish. Stir in 3 drops of pumpkin seed oil." He instructed the younger wizard, through the first steps of the mixture, catching him up to the rest of the class. At least the rest of the class that was intelligent enough to know what they were doing. Harry refused to look at him, but followed every instruction perfectly. Was it his imagination or was it easier to teach one on one? Harry's mixture was burning at a low level, sparks of green dancing from the flame like a miniature fireworks display. Proud of his accomplishment, he actually smiled shyly at Severus.

"Remember where we are." Severus muttered and the smile instantly vanished. Which was rather a shame because for a brief moment he imagined Harry had forgotten about last night and something like fondness shined through. He dragged his eyes from the boy just in time to see the rest of the class focused, not on Harry and himself but on another student.

"Longbottom! Drop that!" Irritation overtook the odd sense of calm that had filled him.

A small explosion was narrowly avoided as Longbottom dropped the cup of Dragon urine he was about to pour on his smoking mixture.

Severus stormed away from Harry's table towards a cowering Longbottom, muttering about shallow gene pools.

The library was blissfully quiet, as always. Harry, seated at a table across from Hermione and Ron, was trying to concentrate on his Divination homework.

"So who are you most compatible with?" Ron asked, looking over Harry's shoulder at his textbook.

"Aries." Harry mumbled. Just his luck they were studying astrology and 'your most compatible mate.'

"Oh… mine's a Libra."

"What's professor Snape, I wonder?" Hermione asked innocently, not looking up from her own Arithmancy homework.

"Scorpio." Harry mumbled.

"Makes sense." Ron snorted, and then, "Hold on! Why do you care what sign that git is, Hermione? And how come you know Harry?" Hermione pretended not to hear the question.

On the pretext of being very involved in his studies, Harry turned some pages in his book and looked interested in what was written there. "Don't know… must of seen his birth date some place or other." He shrugged. He actually couldn't recall where he had seen the professor's birth date, but the fact that he remembered the date at all was unsettling. "Do you think Trelawney wants these reports to include our least compatible mate too?"

"Who cares?" Ron sighed and threw his quill down. "I'm finished. I don't care if I never see another natal, star, sun, moon, houses chart again!"

Harry wasn't so lucky. He'd barely managed a paragraph on the subject. His mind kept wandering back to Severus. He'd been almost a different person in Potion's class, taking the time to actually walk Harry through the mixture. Hopefully no one had noticed that for a few minutes they were getting along a bit too well.

He wondered how he was going to get down to the dungeon tonight. He had an overwhelming sense he could not survive a night away from Snape now. This bothered him. It made him anxious and tense. Certainly Dumbledore had known this would happen. Some instinct made him want to be in the same room as Snape and a plausible excuse would have to be given to the rest of the school for this.

One thing he was certain of. Now that he was stronger, he was not going to lie down and let Severus have his way again.

"Harry!" Ron punched him playfully in the arm. "Dinner?"

"Oh… Ummm… actually, I'm not too hungry." He lied. "I'm just going stay and finish this."

"You need to eat, Harry." Hermione chastised. "I thought you were better?"

"I am! I just want to finish this." He gave her a meaningful look, which she seemed to understand, because she didn't push the topic any more.

"See you later than." Ron said, gathering his books up and leaving the library with Hermione following.

Harry sighed, rubbed his hands over his face and back through his hair. If he ducked down to the dungeon now, perhaps no one would see him. It was the evening meal hour.

"Where were you at evening meal?" Snape growled as he opened the door to his rooms and Harry pulled the invisibility cloak off.

"Nice to see you too, Dear." Harry grumbled back and pushed past the older wizard. He stormed over to the overstuffed chairs and threw himself into one.

The door slammed shut. "Well eat!" Severus ordered, pointing to the table in the corner where a small setting of soup and rolls with a cup of pumpkin juice was set.

"You brought that for me?" He asked, shocked.

Snape all but rolled his eyes. "Do you really think I would carry a tray of food from the Great Hall all the way down here just for you? I had the elves deliver it when I didn't see you in the Hall."

"Ummm… thanks." He pushed himself up from the chair and wandered over to the table where he sat and devoured the meal a little more quickly than he would have normally. His appetite was definitely back.

Snape was grading essays again. Sitting behind the large desk on the opposite wall. Ignoring Harry.

"I want to know what this Bond thing means." Harry spoke up. He'd had enough of being passive in this. He wanted answers now. If he knew more perhaps he could better control the emotional roller coaster he seemed to be on.

Severus made no move to answer or even to show that he'd heard the question. The feather of his quill danced over the parchment he was grading.

After five minutes of silence, broken only by the scratch of the ink on paper, Harry was about to stomp over to the desk and rip the quill out of the Professor's hand. Snape looked up and dark eyes immediately fixed on Harry. He set the quill down, crossed his hands on the desk before him and stared.

"Did your brain finally catch up to what has happened? You have questions now? What are they?"

"You know, it hardly seems right to criticize me like that now. Considering what we've done together." Harry crossed his arms on his chest and wished he didn't sound so much like a petulant child. Shouldn't he be an adult now? He'd lost his virginity after all. But the truth was, he felt younger than he did before it had happened. He felt robbed.

"What have we _done_ together, Mr. Potter?"

Heat flushed Harry's face, but he refused to look away from those eyes. He wouldn't fall into these word games with the man. He wanted answers.

"I want to know how I'm supposed to stay here with you? What is the rest of the school going to think? It will get out that we are sleeping in the same rooms. And I can't go back to the Gryffindor tower now. I know you feel it too."

"Yes, well when one is apprenticed to another Wizard, one generally stays in the same rooms with him."

"But what will-" Harry froze, narrowed his eyes at Snape. "Apprenticed?"

"That is what Dumbledore plans to put out. Seems a reasonable explanation. And the Dark Lord, once he finds out, will be pleased to know that I have gotten closer to you."

"Oh splendid. Because I was worried about what _his_ opinion was." Harry said, sarcasm dripping from his voice. "Who said I wanted to be apprenticed to you?"

"The Headmaster!" Snape glowered. "Really Harry, pay attention. At what point did you think you had a choice in anything that happens to you?"

Harry felt his temper boil over. He reached for the empty soup dish and sent it sailing through the air towards Snape's head. "_Impedimenta_!" Snape's wand was out and pointing at the flying object just inches before it could make contact with his head. The bowl floated in midair then crashed to the floor as he let the spell fall.

"Because I am sure you are having some _emotional issues_ right now and I am too exhausted from today's classes to deal with this, I will pretend you didn't just do that."

This was all too much to deal with. Overwhelmed with his feelings, Harry wandered over to the fireplace and collapsed on the rug in front of it. He crossed his legs before him, resting his head in his hands. Defeated.

'I will not cry. I will not cry.' He repeated the mantra in his head, as hot tears threatened behind closed eyes.

"Slow down your breathing. You're going to hyperventilate again." Severus settled in one of the chairs. Harry felt those dark eyes on him. "Its not that bad. Apprenticeship."

"I wouldn't know. I don't even know what it means." Reluctantly, he sniffled.

"It means, for the most part, that I will instruct you in all subjects. It means you are under my supervision and care until you graduate. It's a common enough practice in the wizarding world. Generally used for only the stronger wizards and witches. So that their powers can be more closely watched and honed."

Harry listened to this. Felt a calm seeping into him as Severus talked. He was sure it had something to do with the bond. Because never before had he noticed just how lulling the older wizard's voice was. He lifted his head and looked at the man. The light from the fire made the planes of his face all the more sharp and fine. His hair back behind his ears and trailing down his back in silken black tresses. Eyebrows perfectly drawn arcs over the deep, inky black eyes.

"You're very handsome." Harry murmured dreamily.

All at once the guarded look that Severus usually wore disappeared and something Harry could only call baffled shock passed over his features then left just as quickly. Harry wondered if he had actually seen it. Then he realized what he had just said to make it appear there. He gasped, slapped a hand over his mouth and looked away, face flushed.

"I don't know why I said it. Forget I said it." He mumbled and tried to burry his head under his arms and curl into a fetal ball. Maybe he could make himself disappear. Did he know any disappearing charms yet? Where did he leave his cloak when he came in?

A soft, barely there, laugh fell on his ears. "Oh, I'm not going to forget that one, _Harry_. I'm going to remember that."

Was that Snape, amused? He chanced to open one eye and look over at him. Yes, he looked amused.

"Get up. You have homework. I know you do."

A few more seconds of pretending he didn't exist any more, and Harry had to force himself to uncurl and stand up as instructed. "I don't have my books here."

"Then go get them and come back here. Hurry up. I still have to prepare for tomorrow's classes. I don't want to have to come chasing after you."

With a light nod and a heavy sigh of resignation Harry left the warmth of the dungeon room to make his way back up to the towers of Gryffindor. His mind racing with what to tell Ron and Hermione.

**Error! Unknown switch argument.**


	10. Chapter 10

(CottonTail didn't write an Author's Note in this one so neither will I... except for this. HEARTS!)

"I don't have any clothes." Harry announced. He stood in the middle of the main room, wrapped in an overly large, fluffy, black towel. Water dripped from his hair. He'd taken an indecent amount of time in the bath this morning, trying to deal with an achingly hard erection he'd woken up with. Eventually it dissipated simply because he'd become so frustrated with trying to get himself off and never reaching climax.

He blamed the bond. He blamed everything that went wrong in his life on the bond. Now he couldn't even get himself off without Severus being in the same room! At least that's what he concluded from this morning's frustrations. And why had he woken up so incredibly aroused in the first place? It wasn't like the usual morning erection.

Now he was just irritated and angry. And who better to take it out on than the other member of the bond. The other member who was apparently pretending Harry wasn't in the room at all.

"Hello! I'm wet! You did something with my robes!"

Severus looked up from the letter he was reading and acknowledged Harry's presence.

"I had them destroyed. I like you naked."

It was a bland response, and made in Severus' usual apathetic voice.

"Very amusing. Where are my robes?"

"I told you I destroyed them." Just then a small knock sounded at the door.

Harry jumped, made to scurry back into the bedroom but it was too late. The door was opened and a small house elf entered, loaded down with a pile of dark robes.

"Give them to the naked boy." Severus directed the elf. It scampered over to him and placed the robes at his feet.

"Would sir be wanting anything else?"

"No. Get out." Snape waved dismissively and the elf rushed for the door, as if his life depended upon escape.

"You bought me new robes?" Harry frowned at the pile of clothing before him.

"Considering you are no longer a member of Gryffindor and you are now an apprentice. It seemed new robes were in order."

Harry hardly heard the rest of the explanation. His breath hitched and his heart stopped at the first words. "I'm not in Gryffindor? But the Sorting Hat put me there. I'm not Slytherin, am I?"

"I just told you. You are an apprentice now. You are a member of no house."

He bit his lip, tried not to scream and protest. He would be adult about this. It was just a house. It was just some colors and a lion symbol. It wasn't his entire life. But his heart was suddenly heavy.

Lifting up one set of new robes he took in the detail. It was made of a very soft charcoal gray material. It must have been quite expensive to come by. He glanced over at Severus who was again immersed in the letter he held. His stomach did a small flop and his heart started beating quickly at the sight of the older wizard. Not that the man was doing anything particularly thrilling or new. He was just standing there, in his black robes, letter in hand.

There was a soft twittering behind him and Harry turned to find a large dark Sooty owl perched on the mantel of the fireplace. He'd never seen one before. They were rare in this part of the world. Its eyes were huge and black and seemed to take up half of its face. The feathers were a dusky dark color as well, flecks of white sprinkled across its breast. It stared back at Harry, gave a slight turn of its head, looked at Severus than back at Harry.

Suddenly the room was filled with a musical chittering and trilling. Harry's breath caught in his throat at the silvery notes that spilled forth.

"Oh shut up!" A rolled up Daily Prophet hit the wall above the owl's head and the twittering stopped, followed by a loud screech of protest.

"Why did you do that? It was nice!" Harry turned back to Severus, clutching the towel about him.

"It's a courtship song native to his species. He's making fun of us!"

"How do you know that? Maybe he means good wishes."

Severus snorted and looked hard at Harry. "You really are naïve." He shook his head, narrowing his eyes. "I've had that owl since I was 3 years old. I can promise you he has never once wished me well. He's the bane of my existence…" He trailed off, seeming to just realize that Harry was standing in nothing but a towel. "Well… he was the bane of my existence. Now you have done an excellent job of taking his place."

"He's a Sooty owl. How did you get one?"

"My father acquired him. I don't know the details."

"What's his name?" Harry turned his attention back to the owl. It was quite big and loomed over him from its perch on the mantel. It reminded him an awful lot of Snape.

"Cicero."

"Hello Cicero." Harry smiled up at the bird. It glared down at him than gave a soft clicking noise in response. But otherwise gave no indication it was glad to make his acquaintance.

"Go get dressed. We have to be in the Great Hall for breakfast. The Headmaster has a speech to give. Unfortunately, our presence is required."

This did not sound good. Harry imagined he knew what the speech was going to be about. He'd been lucky last night when he returned to gather his books from the Gryffindor rooms. No one but Neville had been in the rooms. He only gave Harry a curious look, but no questions.

His mind was not on what was happening. Because beside him, at the head table, was Harry looking stunning in tailored dark robes. But it wasn't his looks that were distracting Snape. It was the emotions that were roiling off the boy. And now that the bond was completed they were amplified.

He was a ball of nervous energy sitting between Severus and Madam Hooch.

Under the table, Snape placed a hand on Harry's leg. His intention was to provide some type of reassurance to calm the boy down. Instead he jumped nearly a foot in the air, rattling the silverware on the table when he hit it. He blushed deeply when Severus removed his hand quickly and gave him a look of exasperation.

"Sorry." Harry mumbled.

"Stop worrying about everything. You can't control any of this." Severus said under his breath.

"That's why I'm worried."

There was a soft tinkling from the center of the table, where Professor Dumbledor was tapping his goblet with a spoon. The talking in the Hall died down. All faces turned to the head table.

"I should like to make a small announcement this morning. As I am sure you have all noticed, Mr. Potter is at the head table. This is because he has been apprenticed."

A soft rift of whispers ran through the hall. "It is a very prestigious thing to be taken as an apprentice and it is not something that is taken up lightly as most of you are aware."

Severus noticed some heads nod in understanding. Every eye at the Gryffindor table was fixed on Harry. Harry was not returning any of the looks. In fact, he had made a sudden grab for Severus' hand and was clinging to it under the table.

"It was after much consideration on my part that I decided Mr. Potter needs more individual and personal tutoring by a wizard who is strong enough to provide the guidance he will need. I have therefore, asked Professor Snape to take on Mr. Potter as an apprentice."

There were some audible gasps, a few other shocked noises and pretty much the entire Gryffindor table had a look of shock plastered to every face. The Slytherin table wasn't so much shocked as disturbed by the news. Draco openly glared at Harry.

"As an apprentice, Mr. Potter will no longer be a member of Gryffindor, nor is he a member of any other house now. He will be staying with Professor Snape, as is the custom of the training of an apprentice."

The news fell like a bomb on the Gryffindor table. Bursts of outrage could be heard. Severus glared at them all. Professor Dumbledore also gave them one of his more authoritative looks. Reluctantly they settled.

"I ask that you all have the courtesy of accepting this new development with a minimal amount of disruption to your regular schedules. The only one this should have any effect upon is Harry himself… and of course Professor Snape."

Under the table Harry had Severus' hand in a death grip. "If you are trying to break any bones I suggest using both hands." He snarled.

The grip loosened and Harry mumbled another "Sorry."

Madam Hooch gave them an amused look.

"Its okay." Severus replied and pulled his hand away, giving it a slight shake, working the feeling back into his fingers. "You'll be with me all day. You wont have to face any of them one on one."

"I have classes." Harry answered.

"Not any more. You stay with me. You'll be in Potions with me all day."

"Oh." Harry chewed thoughtfully on a piece of bacon and spent the rest of the breakfast avoiding eye contact with any one at the Gryffindor table.

"Happy Potter? Got him all to yourself now? I always knew you had a thing for Professor Snape." Malfoy taunted him as the rest of the class entered the Potion's room.

_'If only you knew.'_ Harry thought to himself but otherwise pretended not to hear. Severus had set up a small desk in the corner, at the front of the room, just a few feet from his own. He'd given Harry some assignments to work on in History of Magic and Charms and in between classes he'd helped him with some of the more difficult questions.

"Sit down!" Severus snarled and every one became instantly quiet. This was the class Harry had dreaded all day. The Slytherin and Gryffindor class. His year mates. He pretended to concentrate on his books. He could feel Ron's and Hermione's eyes on him. Dipping his quill in ink he scratched out words that came to mind.

_'My life is miserable. There is a beetle crawling across my desk. Severus has a nice voice. I hate Malfoy. I wish Ron wouldn't stare at me like I've grown two heads. I want to talk to Hermione. I think I would like it if Severus-'_

He jumped as something hit him in the back of the head. Turning to see what it was, he noticed a small paper plane lying on the floor at his feet. Glancing up quickly, to see if Severus was looking, he made a grab for the plane and set it on the desk before him. There were no sounds of teasing laughter or whispering, so it couldn't have been Malfoy or one of his gang.

There appeared to be writing on the wings of the plane. He reached for it and, quietly as possible, unfolded it. It was a letter, in Hermione's unmistakable writing.

'Harry, Professor McGonnagall told us this morning that you are staying with Professor Snape now. Harry I did some reading on that subject we discussed… Maybe you don't see it yet, but this is a good thing. That you are staying with him now, I mean. By the way, you HAVE to tell Ron. He's furious at you for agreeing to be "the greasy git's apprentice" and not even mentioning it to him first. He's sure Snape has played some mind game on you. I'm having a hard time thinking of excuses. Please write me back!

Your friend forever, Hermione.'

Harry read it over twice and then did a quick erasure spell on the letter. He did not want to talk to Ron right now. He was still trying to understand it all himself. He chanced a glance over at the table where his friends sat. Hermione was taking detailed notes as Severus lectured on the uses of psychotropic plants. Ron was staring right at him, looking terribly concerned.

He tried to smile at Ron but it probably came out more as a grimace.

"Potter!" Harry jumped. Severus was standing over him, arms crossed, one eyebrow raised as he looked down at the words on Harry's scroll. The words he had absently been writing before the paper plane hit him. He blushed. Why was he doing that so much lately? He blinked up at Severus, aware that a question had probably been asked and he had not heard it. "Ummm…. Sorry?"

Draco snickered.

"Get your books and go back to our rooms." The Potion's Master hissed at him.

"Yes, Sir." He couldn't get out of there quickly enough. He tried to give Severus a look of gratitude but he'd turned back to the class and was yelling at them.

Perhaps Severus was right about Cicero, Harry mused. He hadn't been in the rooms more than ten seconds before the owl spotted him and launched into his courtship love chirruping routine. At first Harry found it amusing and rather pleasant. But after half an hour of it, he was about to strangle the bird. If it would let him near it.

He tried throwing things at it and yelling like Severus did. Apparently he didn't have the authority to tell the owl to shut up though. It continued on for endless minutes as Harry pretended he didn't care. Eventually Cicero grew tired of the game and stopped. Instead he returned to slowly shredding a large book of what was most likely potions ingredients.

"You know that's wrong Cicero." Harry admonished, but only lightly. He was rather looking forward to Severus' reaction when he returned to find a blanket of confetti parchment strewn across the floors.

Now that he was alone, he had time to think. To try and piece together everything that was happening so fast. He settled himself in one of the plush chairs and watched Cicero tearing apart the book.

What had Hermione meant? That this was for the best? It didn't feel like it was for the best. But then again, perhaps there was one good thing to come from this. Perhaps he wouldn't have to return to the Dursley's this summer. He couldn't see Severus allowing that. Even the idea of being separated from him for that long made Harry shiver.

One of Severus' cloaks was tossed over the back of the chair. He pulled it over himself and snuggled into the familiar feel and scent of it. His nerves calmed and he became drowsy.

Some one was petting his head. Opening one eye he found Severus kneeling before him. A look of concern on his face disappeared as soon as Harry focused on him.

"Hi." He mumbled, rubbing sleep from his eyes.

The fingers in his hair slid over his scalp and then pulled back from him.

Those black eyes stared into his own for several long minutes. He became uncomfortable with the intensity of them and wanted to look away from it, but found himself drawn into them. Again, he had the feeling that the man could read minds.

"What's wrong?" He asked at last, breaking the silence. The distraction worked and Severus took his eyes off Harry. He looked at the floor, covered in torn parchment. Harry berated himself for falling asleep and missing the older wizard's initial reaction to the shredded book.

"I brought you this." Severus said in a very quite voice. He placed a small, deep red rose bud in the palm of Harry's hand. "Professor Sprout has a gross of them." It was thornless and its leaves were the most brilliant emerald green that Harry had ever seen in a plant.

"Oh. Thanks." He felt slightly uncomfortable at the idea of Snape bringing him a rose. It was not in his nature to be romantic like that. Perhaps the bond was having effects on him too.

"Umm, your owl tore up a book." He pointed out, feeling like a moron for changing the subject so fast. Whatever the subject had been. He wasn't sure. He just knew that things were feeling odd between them and he had an overwhelming urge to collapse against Severus' like a silly girl and beg him to take care of everything.

But then he recalled how Severus had used force before. How he'd drugged him and tricked him. Was this rose an apology? He looked again at the tiny rose bud. It had magically bloomed at some point when he wasn't watching.

"Yes, my owl. He's passive aggressive like that." Severus' spoke in dismissive way.

Harry smiled at that and Severus gave a slight look of amusement in return. "I sent him back to the Owlery."

"Oh."

"Come eat dinner now."

Had he slept that long? Glancing over at the table he saw that it was indeed laid out with food. "Okay." He took the hand that Severus offered and let himself be pulled up from the chair. For a brief moment they were pressed together and he had to tilt his head to look up at the other man. Harry hoped he would grow more because he was bound to get a cramp in his neck if he had to always look up like this.

Before he could think further the dark head was leaning down to him and a very gentle press of lips was against his own. Long black hair tickled against his cheek. He froze but didn't move from it. Every muscle cried out for him to wrap himself around this person and cling to him forever. But he refused to do so. He did however concentrate on this sudden kiss. It was tentative but not too light. There was a light nip at his bottom lip and then Severus pulled away, looked into Harry's eyes again for just a moment and stepped away. He turned with the usual swirl of robes and moved towards the table.

Harry remained standing in the same spot. He touched his lip with a finger and looked back at the small rose.

Yes, it was an apology. He smiled at the subtlety of it. It was perfect and sweet.

With a small smile, and a lightness to his mood, that he hadn't felt in some time, he followed Severus to the table for dinner.

In Harry's opinion, Slytherin was the most hostile and devious of all the houses. And after having spent all his free time in the dungeons for over a week he could include the additional terms: stealthy, reckless, and much as he hated to admit it, endlessly entertaining.

The practical jokes and scheming pranks that took place in the house within just one week would be enough to last the Weasley twins alone for a whole year. Harry was baffled by the amount of energy the members of the house seemed to exhibit once they were secure in the dungeons and out of the eye of the rest of the school. He didn't know how Severus kept up with it all.

There was always some one having to go visit Madam Pomfrey for burns, bruises or any number of accidental injuries. Harry had been in the Slytherin common rooms once with Ron, during the Polyjuice incident. And since then he had only been there again once more. With Severus, who had to go and deliver a lengthy lecture on not sneaking up on your fellow Slytherin and using the Scalding Hex, the Black Eye Hex or the Vomiting Hex. However, the Paper Cut Hex and the Bloody Nose Hex was permissible. Provided the victim did not go crying to Professor Snape about it. Harry stood just behind Severus as this lecture was delivered. For the first time Harry actually took time to more closely examine each of the Slytherin students. They always seemed scruffy and intimidating to him. But as he looked at them now, they all had scars or bruising some place on them. Even Malfoy had a small red bruise at his temple. He glared at Harry when he realized he was being watched.

They all had defiant looks of 'been there done that'. It was rare that any of them actually came and complained to Severus about being the object of a joke or particularly harsh prank. They were tuff. And they all got some sort of thrill from terrorizing one another. It was like a House Rule. 'Terrorize thy brother and sister'.

Apparently Severus didn't think there was much wrong in this, for he seemed to let an awful lot slip past. For instance, there was the night when Harry woke up to loud screaming outside, in the halls. He blinked owlishly in the darkness, heart racing. Thinking that perhaps Voldemort had arrived or something he grabbed for his wand, which he kept under his pillow. After finding his glasses on the bedside table and sliding out of the bed he tiptoed out of the bedroom. The door to Severus' rooms was open and he saw candlelight throwing shadows on the walls outside.

Holding his wand tightly, he made his way towards the open door. The screaming sounded like it was coming from many girls and there was laughter and chortles accompanying it. Slowly he moved around the doorframe and glanced into the cold, dungeon halls.

The whole Slytherin girls' dorm must have been up. They were all in the hallway screeching and clinging to one another, night gowns rumpled and hair mussed from sleep. On either end of the hall were large groups of Slytherin boys, laughing, pointing and punching one another good naturedly.

Harry looked down at the floor, as that seemed to be what the girls were freaking out over. Hundreds of tiny mice scrambled across the floors, racing back and forth, keeping the girls in a tight circle.

He gasped. This was amusing? The girls were not so much frightened by the mice, rather they seemed angry that they had been woken by hundreds of mice and wrangled out into the cold halls in the middle of the night.

The squeaking of all the little mice wasn't helping the situation either.

Where was Severus? Harry frowned. The door was open…

"Mr. Flint!"

Oh, there he was, on the landing that led to the girls' dorms. The smallest of the Slytherin first year girls was clinging to his night robes. He was not looking thrilled about the situation. Then again, he wasn't looking as angry as Harry thought he would have been.

In fact, he seemed slightly amused, but also terribly exhausted.

Flint stepped from the crowd of boys at one end of the hall. "Yes, Professor?" He called.

"Kindly put the mice back in the pumpkins. Is it too much to ask that I get one full night's sleep without disruptions? If you insist on torturing one another, please do so away from my chambers and don't disturb me unless some one is bloody or unconscious."

There was a resounding, "Yes, Professor Snape." Severus rolled his eyes, lightly shook the clinging first year from his robes and returned to their rooms, letting the door slam behind him.

"That's all?" Harry asked, bewildered.

"That's all what?" Severus frowned at him, eyes wandering over Harry's sleep tousled form.

"Shouldn't they get detention or something?"

"Not that it's any of your concern, Potter, but if I gave them all detention I would have no time to myself at all. It's a harmless stunt. They do it all the time. Its how they burn off energy. The majority of them come from Hellish family lives, I must let them have their fun somehow. It's always been that way in Slytherin."

Harry blinked up at Severus. It was true. It was something else he had learned since being here. The Slytherin house was full of students from troubled homes, abusive families, neglect, the list went on and on.

This had to be one reason why the Sorting Hat had wanted to put him here with Slytherin. And he would have fit in rather well, he realized.

"Go to bed." Severus said warily. He rubbed at his eyes and turned from Harry.

"You're tired." Harry commented, hoping the older wizard wouldn't snap at him for pointing out the obvious.

"I have paper's to grade. I have lesson plans to finish. I have a meeting with the Order of the Phoenix tomorrow and I have a feeling the Dark Lord is going to call me to him again soon. On top of that I have a house of pranksters to keep from killing one another and you to teach."

Harry said nothing. He knew all of this. Well, not the bit about the Dark Lord calling soon. But he knew how busy Severus' schedule was. He watched him every day for the last week. Moving from one project to the next, rarely stopping in between to eat or rest.

He had an overwhelming urge to comfort the man somehow. But he couldn't think of a way.

"Will you sleep?" He pushed again.

Severus rounded on him, anger in his eyes. Harry stepped back reflexively.

"At what point do you think I have time to sleep?"

"Now would be good!" Harry retorted but instantly regretted it when he saw the anger flash more brightly in Severus' eyes. "Sleep with me. I want you to sleep with me." He quickly amended, his words tripping over one another so that it sounded like one long jumbled sentence. He was hoping to diffuse the fit of anger the Professor was about to have.

A long silence fell between them as they stared at one another. "And do you truly mean that or are you saying it to make me stop yelling?"

"Ummm…, both I think." He answered softly, looking down at the floor. For the past week Snape had kept him no further than arms length away when they were outside these rooms. There had been little chance to speak to or even see anyone else. He desperately missed his friends and wished he could talk to Hermione or do his homework with Ron. That's how deprived he'd been. He missed homework with Ron. He wanted to write to Sirius, but never had a chance.

Severus was the only one he saw or spoke to. He wondered if the man would ever let the noose loosen a little. Is this what being an apprentice was about? Or was this the bond making him incredibly territorial around Harry?

He didn't know. But he knew he was about to go crazy from not having some one to talk to about anything that wasn't educational and teaching related.

"Go back to bed." Severus broke into his thoughts. "I need to finish grading these essays." He waved Harry away and returned to his usual spot at his desk.

Harry frowned at him but didn't push the issue. Truth was, as much as he wanted some companionship, he was still wary of Severus. Though he had shown nothing but a sort of restrained gentleness around Harry. At first this put Harry on his guard. It was so non-Snapeish to be amiable. But he was. At least towards Harry. Every one else received the exact same Snape treatment.

With one last look at the other wizard he left the room and returned to the giant bed. It was too big and he always felt like he was drowning in the comforter and pillows. The crackling fire always made him drowsy. And then he would fall asleep and have those dreams again. The ones that were becoming more and more insistent as the days passed. Very sexual dreams that always woke him up in either a state of sticky wetness or aching hardness. And always terribly frustrated.

Severus watched Harry sleep. He'd given up on grading an hour after Harry returned to bed. It was a thankless task. Grading. Of course, so was teaching. Except the occasional, rare gem of a student who actually learned what he taught and showed some promise of being worthy of the subject. Malfoy was like that. Despite what all the other students thought, he was not being prejudicial towards Draco when it came to Potions Class. He didn't hand out good grades to just anyone. The boy had shown promise from the first day and never failed to deliver a perfect potion each class. He was in fact ahead of his year and should be in a more advanced class. But Severus hated to separate him from his year mates.

Restless, he paced the floor of the bedroom, listening to the soft snores drift from his bed. When was the last time he'd slept? He took a catnap here and there. But hadn't actually slept for more than an hour straight in the past week. It was taking a toll on him. He was more tense and ill tempered than usual. Even Dumbledore avoided him in the Halls or at mealtimes.

He stopped pacing and approached the bed. Harry was a ball of young adolescence curled in the center of bedding. His hair was the usual tangled mess of blackness on the pillow, eyelashes dark against his cheeks, lips slightly parted.

For several minutes Severus simply watched the boy sleep. He was quite pretty when he slept. It was one of the few things that calmed him lately, watching Harry sleep. Tonight he was too tired to resist the pull anymore. He gave into the need and climbed into bed beside Harry, being extra careful not to make too much movement and wake him.

Arranging himself next to the younger wizard, but not touching him, he lay on his back and stared up at the ceiling.

Sleep fell over him swiftly.

Harry woke with a start. His breathing fast, his pulse beating in his temples. He felt the usual sticky warmth soaking into his nightshirt and knew it had been another dream. This was going to have to stop. And he was going to have to confront Severus with it.

But he couldn't think about that right now. He was too hot and there was a solid heat at his back. He almost lifted his head, but the slow exhalation of breath against his neck stopped him.

Severus.

So, he'd crawled into bed last night after all. A small giddy thrill filled Harry's stomach at this knowledge. It was swiftly replaced by unease. He hadn't been this closely held since the night Severus had forced the completion of the bond.

Then it had been a feeling of trapped need that overwhelmed him. But now Severus was asleep and certainly not holding him down. Both of them were clothed in nightshirts. He could crawl away from this at any time.

But he didn't. He lay perfectly still, trying to calm his breathing and match it to the steady rise and fall of the chest pressed to his back. When had he ever been held like this? Not since Mrs. Weasley hugged him after his nightmare experience with Voldemort and Cedric's death.

But here there were no witnesses. And this was not sympathy offered out of pity or a mother's instinct. This was just… affection. A small lump of angst filled his throat. Had his parent's had this type of affection? Certainly they must have. He liked to imagine, that had they lived, he would have been able to go into their room in the morning and crawl into bed with them. Or go to them when he had a bad dream and be comforted.

There was a slow move of muscle against his back. Harry held his breath, holding perfectly still, willing Severus not to wake up yet.

"Stop pretending. I know you're awake."

The voice was filled with sleep and deeper than usual. Harry involuntarily shivered at the sound of it then chastised himself for doing so.

"I wasn't pretending. I just didn't want you to move."

He bit his tongue. That was too much information to be putting out there right now! He really needed to watch his words more closely. He had a bad habit of saying what he was thinking whenever Severus was near lately.

There was a soft chuckle just beside his ear and then the warmth behind him stretched and pulled him closer. "Suddenly not so abhorrent?"

"Umm-" Harry was at a loss for words. His mind was too busy determining what he was feeling and how he should react. "I don't know." Inexperience was a terrible thing. He felt awkward and inept. There was a telltale hardness pressing against him. Again he shivered. He wanted to be held. He wanted to be wanted. He tried to put it into words. "I'm always wanting… more. But I… we…" He sighed and gave up. How do you explain to your Potions Professor that you wake up sexually frustrated every morning but that you are too nervous and afraid to make the first move, and it's all because of him?

Severus held him closer for a moment, took in a deep breath against the hair at the back of Harry's head then loosened his hold. He stretched again, rolled away and out of the bed.

Harry did his best not to protest.

"Welcome to my world." Severus muttered as he left the room and went into the bathroom.

Harry lay still in the big and empty bed and tried to ignore the ache that filled him after Severus left the room.

Quidditch. Yet another thing he'd been robbed of. Harry stood beside Severus, as always, and watched the other students file from the school and out towards the field for today's game. Ravenclaw vs. Hufflepuff.

"Excuse us, Professor Snape?" It was Hermione's voice. Harry looked up and met her eyes. Ron was with her and was openly glaring at Snape.

"What?" Severus said, irritation evident.

"We were wondering if Harry could sit with us for the game? I mean, if it is alright with you, that is?" She continued to hold Severus' gaze. Harry saw him clench his hands into fists at his sides but otherwise he appeared calm.

"I suppose its fine. If that is what he would like." All eyes turned to him. Of course he jumped on the offer.

"Yes, please!" He almost smiled up at Severus but then remembered where they were.

"Be back in our rooms immediately afterwards. We still have to go over your arithmancy tonight."

"Yes, sir." He said reverently. Ron scowled but didn't say anything.

Outside the sky was clear, there was only a slight breeze of cold air but otherwise the weather was perfect. They climbed up to the stands in the Gryffindor box and found seats on the benches down in the far corner, where no one else was near.

"Blimey! I thought we would never get you to ourselves again!" Ron groused. He looked closely at Harry. "It must be awful, being stuck with him all the time. I think I would have quit school by now if it was me."

Hermione frowned at him. "Ron, I've told you before, Professor Snape is a very learned wizard. Harry should be honored to be able to learn from him. There are tons of wizard parents who would pay anything to have their child apprenticed to such a knowledgeable man as he is."

Ron rolled his eyes. "Yeah, yeah, yeah."

"He is actually quite smart." Harry said, watching the teams arrange themselves out on the field before Madam Hooch blew the whistle for the game to start.

"But Harry! How come you are with him? Why did you agree to be his apprentice?"

"I didn't agree, Ron!" Harry burst out. He hated to be short with his friend but he just didn't know how to explain this to him.

Hermione watched, clearly trying to offer her support.

Taking a deep breath he continued. "I had to be his apprentice. Dumbledore didn't give me a choice."

"Why? Why him?"

"Because, you heard the Headmaster explain it Ron. Professor Snape is the only one who can teach me what I need to know. He's the only one who can help me."

"It just seems wrong, Harry."

"Well its not like I can get out of it. I don't have anyplace to go. He's really fine once you get him alone, you know. He's a good teacher one on one. It's actually kind of nice. Its like I have a place to belong now and I don't think I'll have to go back to the Dursley's this summer."

"You would rather stay with Snape than the Dursleys?" Ron asked.

"Well… yeah."

"Look, Harry is fine." Hermione interrupted. "You see for yourself now Ron. He's not being drugged or beaten into submission…" She trailed off and glanced at Harry a bit uncomfortable. "You aren't are you, Harry?" Both of his friends' eyes fixed on him.

"No! No. He's been perfectly fine to me. Really, he's not so bad once you get to know him." He was tired of defending the man. He just wanted to be here with his friends and watch quidditch. It was the closest he could get to the game now.

"Sucks that you can't play for our team anymore." Ron grumbled. Harry agreed wholeheartedly. They discussed who was going to take Harry's place on the team and what the chances were for today's game. He talked to Hermione about all the new things Snape was teaching him. He felt like he'd learned more in this last week than he had in the past 6 months alone.

All too soon the game ended and he had to say his goodbyes and make his way back to the dungeon rooms. He promised Hermione that he would ask Severus if he could join them on the next Hogsmeade weekend.


	11. Chapter 11

(Note from the step author who's chapter this does not belong to: TEE HEE! Sorry, I'm trying to get my friend to like Snarry giggle)

Burning pain shot up his arm and woke Severus from the light sleep he'd fallen into. His head lay on his desk, amidst a pile of graded scrolls. It was almost midnight on a Friday. Perfect timing for a meeting. Always at midnight. Always on a weeknight.

Closing his eyes again he cursed his life. There wasn't a day that passed when he didn't question why he kept himself alive. The only answer he could come up with was that he didn't want to miss anything. If the Dark Lord was going to in fact rule the Wizarding world again then he wanted to know it. But if Dumbledore managed to take the Lord down, as he seemed so determined to do, than Severus wanted to witness that as well.

Truth be told, he'd never had a real sense of allegiance towards either side. He walked along the line between both of them. It was a delicate balancing act. One that he'd learned at the feet of abusive parents. How much to give and how much to take without one or the other bursting into fits of rage. But after some thirty odd years of being the in-between he was growing wary. It was bleeding him of all his will to continue. And that had been pitifully little to begin with.

And now he had this other person to be mindful of. He'd been struggling against it since the beginning. But the bond was growing too strong and he couldn't ignore the drowning need to protect this other person. As he became aware of this, over the past week, he knew Dumbledore had not just randomly chosen him to bond to Harry for the sake of Harry's education and safety. He did it because he knew it would have this effect upon Severus. He did it to bind Severus more securely to his side and pull him away from that middle line he'd been walking.

It was devious and something he should have expected from the conniving old bastard. But he hadn't seen it coming at all. He'd seen Harry and he'd seen that the Dark Lord would look favorably on him getting closer to the boy. However, he did not expect he would be capable of feeling this depth of emotion for the son of a man he despised. Bond or no.

He sat up, rubbed his hands over his face and back over his hair. Harry was on the floor before the fire. Apparently he'd also fallen asleep before making it to the bedroom. He lay stretched out on his belly, open books and scrolls littered the floor, an abandoned quill lay beside his outstretched hand. At least he was finally learning how to use his talents. Though in Severus' estimation, he was about two years behind his year mates. His grades had always been low but Severus wondered if the other professors weren't just giving him passing grades because he was "The Boy Who Lived".

Again pain shot through the mark on his arm, racing through his veins. The Dark Lord was insistent tonight. He would not be ignored. Clutching his arm with the opposite hand, Severus stood and gathered his cloak. He took one last moment to admire Harry's profile in the firelight, knelt down swiftly and placed a light kiss on the boy's temple, taking in the now familiar scent of him. Soap, ink, chocolate and Harry.

He whispered a quick incantation of protection over Harry's form. The pain pulsed in his arm again. He had to leave now or face painful consequences. There was always one sorry bastard who showed up late and received the brunt of the Lord's ire throughout the meeting. Severus had not been that individual for a very long time and he would never be that one again if he could help it.

Though he, like all the others, invariably ended up with some wounds and new scars from each meeting, it was still best to not be the center of that attention.

Standing up he wrapped his cloak more tightly about himself and looked down on Harry once more. With a last cleansing breath he turned and walked out of the warmth of the rooms, making his way as quickly as possible towards the outside boundaries of Hogwarts where he could apparate to the agreed meeting location.

It was pre-dawn and Severus was still not back. Harry sat alone in the empty rooms of the dungeon and watched the fire flicker and eat around a log that never seemed to burn all the way down to ashes.

He'd finished all his assignments already. He'd tried to fall back asleep but found it difficult without Severus in the rooms. He'd been called by Voldemort. Harry knew this. He could feel his scar prickling. Though it was nothing as painful as it used to be before the bonding.

Rationally, Harry knew that this is what Severus did. He spied for Dumbledore. He went to the Death Eater meetings. He risked his life for some reason that Harry wasn't privy to.

Irrationally he was a wreck. Waiting on pins and needles for the return of the Potions Master. If some one had told him a few weeks ago that he would be emotionally distraught over Severus Snape being gone all night, he would have punched them then shared the joke with Ron and laughed at the idea of it. Unfortunately he was at this moment a mass of anxiety and worry. All he wanted was for the other wizard to walk in the door or apparate in the middle of the room. Though he knew apparation wasn't possible on Hogwarts' grounds.

A loud knock at the door startled him from his worries. His mind racing he went to answer it. Who would knock at this time of morning unless it was bad news?

It was Professor McGonnagall. She looked over the rims of her glasses at him. She was dressed in day robes and had clearly been awake for some time.

"Hello, Professor." Harry greeted her, trying to cover his concern.

"Mr. Potter, Professor Dumbledore asked that I come and gather you. There has been a small meeting of the Order in his offices for the past hour. But it is over now. There is some one there who would like to visit with you however."

"Is Severus there?" Harry anxiously asked as he stepped out into the hall and closed the door behind him.

She looked startled at the question. Perhaps it was because he'd used the Potions Master's first name. "Yes, of course. He's been back for some time. But I was referring to another person who wished to see you."

Harry nodded and followed her, feeling like he shouldn't ask who. If she wanted him to know immediately she would of just said who.

"Sugar Babies." Professor McGonnagall said as they arrived at the entrance to the Headmaster's office.

The statues moved and the stairway took them up to the room. Harry heard voices in conversation but he was too focused on the one particularly familiar voice of Severus to notice the others. He wanted to push past Professor McGonnagall and race up the stairs. But he could just imagine the look she would give him for being rude like that.

At last they were at the top of the steps and all heads turned towards them. Harry let out a breath he hadn't realized he was holding. Severus sat in a chair in the center of the room, looking perfectly fine, other than a cut on his lip and what appeared to be a bandaged finger on his left hand.

Unable to restrain himself any longer he rushed to Severus, dropped to the floor at his feet and threw himself at the other wizard, wrapping arms around his waist and burring his face against his robes. "You're alright." He whispered. He was shaking and knew he must look ridiculous to the others in the room but couldn't bring himself to dislodge his arms from around Severus.

As for Severus, his entire body stiffened and he winced slightly. "I'm not exactly alright." He said after a moment of strained silence. "Do be careful of the ribs."

"Oh!" Harry forced himself to loosen his grip and look up at the older wizard. "Sorry."

A slight lift of the corner of Severus' mouth told Harry he was forgiven.

"What the HELL is going on!"

Harry jumped and let go of Severus. He looked across the room towards the outraged voice. Sirius.

There were a few other wizards he recognized in the room as well, including Lupin and of course Dumbledore.

The blood drained from his face as he took in the sight of his extremely angry and confused godfather.

"Sirius!" He stood and stepped back from Severus. "Umm… I didn't know you were here."

"Of course I'm here, Harry! I am a member of the Order."

"Sirius, you know that Harry has been apprenticed to Severus." Dumbledore cut in. "Harry, perhaps you would like some tea?" He lifted the pot and summoned a cup to be filled.

Sirius was glowering at him. Lupin had one hand on Sirius arm, restraining him. "Yes I knew. But this is the first time I've seen an apprentice toss himself into the lap of his master."

"Yes well, perhaps you should know the other bit as well." Dumbledore continued. Harry shot him a look that begged for the old man to shut up and not spill this news to Sirius.

"He doesn't _need_ to know anything." Severus broke in.

"Severus, he is Harry's godfather. He has a right to know." Dumbledore said patiently and clearly intent upon telling Sirius no matter what objections were raised.

"Well in that case." Severus replied, sarcasm dripping from every word, "Please continue. I mean you've just done such a wonderful job of interfering with our lives already."

"Severus!" Professor McGonnagall gasped.

"Its quite alright Minerva. He has the right to be upset. I ask a lot of him. Perhaps too much at times."

"Will some one just tell me!" Sirius growled. Harry wanted to crawl under the Headmaster's desk. He wanted to hide forever and not be here for this.

"Sirius, I have taken certain steps to lighten the link that Harry has shared with Voldemort. I felt it would be better if he could concentrate more on his studies and less on his increasingly alarming nightmares and the pain of the scar."

"And?" Sirius' eyes were glued to the Headmaster. Lupin however was watching Harry and Severus. Harry suspected he was already putting the pieces together on his own.

"He's been bonded. To Severus."

"WHAT?" Sirius yanked his arm from Lupin's grip and stalked over to Severus, towering over him. "You slimy bastard! You agreed to this?"

"I wasn't exactly given a lot of choices in the matter if that is what you are asking." Severus appeared calm enough, but Harry could tell that he was irritated at the display taking place.

Sirius was red with anger. Clearly he wanted to lash out at someone and Severus was a perfect target.

"Its not his fault!" Harry tried to defend him.

"Harry, a bond." Sirius stated the obvious, finally taking his eyes from Severus and looking at Harry. "Do you know what that means? Do you understand that you'll have to sleep with _him_. That you are mated to him for the rest of your life?"

"Yes."

His godfather looked dumbstruck. "Has he touched you?" He demanded, finger pointed accusingly at Severus.

"Yes, but-"

"YES!" His eyes were about popping out of his head. Harry could see a vein pulsing at his temple. "How long has this been going on? How long have you been bonded? Because you look quite healthy for it to still be in early stages!"

"It's been well over 2 months now, though it was only recently finalized." Dumbledore replied. He sat behind his desk, teacup in his hands. He was watching it all like it was the most fascinating play. Harry glared at him. This was his doing. All this negative emotion and anger, was his fault for interfering. Harry wanted to knock everything from his desk. Break and smash things. Do something to get his attention.

"If it's any consolation to you, Sirius, he wasn't exactly forthcoming in his affections. He did the Potter name proud and put up a nice little fight."

"Shut up! You aren't helping things." Harry hissed at Severus.

Sirius lunged at Severus grabbing him by the collar of his robes and shaking him violently. "If you hurt him, I swear I'm going to kill you, Snivellus!" Harry and Lupin both moved towards them at the same time. They tried unsuccessfully to pull Sirius off.

Severus was not putting up much defense against the blows that suddenly rained down on him. Harry screamed at Sirius to stop and attached himself to his godfather's arm, restraining him as best he could. Lupin was on the other side, trying to talk sense into him.

"Stop this!" All motion ceased at the command. It was Dumbledore, he stood behind his desk, angry. "Both of you are acting childish. This is not some school hex you can just beat him up over, Sirius! Please, sit back down and calm yourself. If you must take your aggressions out on someone than do so on me. I arranged the bond."

Harry stared at Sirius who had reluctantly let go of Severus. There was blood on his fists. Severus' blood. His heart lurched when he saw that Severus' cut lip was bleeding again. The bond made him want to comfort the other wizard and his fingers itched to reach out and brush the hair for Severus' eyes. But he held himself still, refusing to show any further gestures of affection in front of the others. He was uncomfortable enough as it was.

"This is the most foolish thing you have ever done, Albus." Sirius said, wiping the blood from his hands onto his robes. "This was just wrong. Did you really think it would work? They hate each other! Severus hated James! What good could come from this?"

Dumbledore was silent for a long moment. Harry stepped closer to Severus' chair and absently placed a hand on his shoulder.

"It is true that it was a foolish idea. But I have often found that foolish ideas have a way of becoming the most worthwhile ones to pay attention to. They have had a rocky start, Sirius. But I suspect it will become better as the weeks pass."

Sirius wasn't happy with this answer. He glared at everyone in the room, including Harry.

"Has he hurt you?" He demanded, eyes fixed on Harry.

The first word that came to mind was 'no' but he couldn't lie to his godfather. His indecision on how to answer the question was enough to tell Sirius what he needed to know.

"He did! You wouldn't hesitate if he hadn't. What did you do to him!"

Severus gave a heavy sigh of irritation. His voice was filled with quiet frustration when he answered. "He was _ill_, Sirius. If I hadn't taken some type of action he would be dead now. It had to be finalized."

"I don't believe I'm hearing this!" Sirius threw his hands in the air and looked at every one in the room. "He forced him! Don't you hear this? You are just leaving Harry with this man? He's a Death Eater! Who knows what he'll do to him!"

"Sirius, there is no debating this. It is done. You know that to separate Harry from him now would be even worse. Severus would not hurt him again." Dumbledore tried to reassure.

Seeing that no one would side with him on this issue Sirius stormed out of the room.

"Uh… I better go after him." Lupin said in a soft voice. He made his farewells, giving Harry's shoulder a light squeeze as he passed him.

The room was quiet for several minutes as every one digested what had just happened.

"Well, I think that went rather well." Dumbledore announced with a smile. "More tea anyone? Harry, why don't you have a scone."

"_Genista_." Harry pronounced, as Snape held up a bright yellow bloom of tiny flowers.

Severus raised a perfectly arched brow in feigned surprise at Harry's correct identification. He would have to pick a more difficult specimen this next time. They wandered further along the winding, pebbled path of the gardens. These gardens were a rare spot located in the forbidden forest that surrounded Hogwarts. Only Severus, Pomfrey and most likely Albus new about this garden. It was a small sanctuary of the most rare flowers, herbs and plant life that could be found.

He'd brought Harry here so he could teach the boy about botany and how closely related to potions it was. Also, he needed to restock some of his supplies and this garden had most of what he needed. A basket full of gathered samples sat under a blossoming cherry tree not far away.

Harry was picking some of the more brightly colored specimens so that he could take them back to Professor Pomfrey. She had requested some flowers for pressing and Harry had shown an interest in it, so Severus agreed to let her teach him this.

It was an odd interest for a teenaged boy. Severus wondered why Harry was so fascinated with it. But the boy was an oddity all his own so he didn't probe too far into the mystery of it. Besides, it was helpful to him to have another Professor take Harry off his schedule, if only for an hour a day. He could concentrate on something besides the bond and Harry.

Rain coming. The scent of it was the air and thunder had been growing steadily closer as they walked. But he almost didn't want to return. He wondered if he could slip away into this forest with Harry. Go so deep into it that the Dark Lord and Albus would never find them again.

"Professor, what is this?" Harry had stopped and was examining something in the palm of his hand. Severus turned, with a swish of robes, and walked back to him. He held a green caterpillar, covered in a thick layer of yellow fuzz.

"It's a caterpillar." Severus deadpanned.

Harry rolled his eyes, looking terribly young for having done so. "I know that. But what kind is it? I've never seen one this furry."

It really was amusing the way the boy assumed he knew everything. "I would imagine it's of the _Fluffy-Mothus_ variety." Severus responded in his teaching voice.

Harry stared at the small creature as it inched along his fingers. "_Fluffy-Mothus_." He said to himself. After a moment his eyebrows knit and he looked up at Severus. "You made that up, didn't you?"

Severus was silent for a moment, gazing into those too green eyes. "Perhaps."

Harry laughed and Severus had to seriously quell the thrill that sound brought to him. It had been some time since he had heard it. After the confrontation with Sirius in the Headmaster's office they had both been solemn, wary of any other displays that Albus may have in store. Though Harry did appear more clingy than previously. Always making certain Severus was in the rooms with him before he went to sleep. He asked once that Severus wake him if ever he was called to go to a Death Eater meeting in the middle of the night again.

Severus debated the rationality of doing that. He told Harry he would wake him, but knew this was a lie. He would do no such thing. Better for him to sleep through it, rather than be awake all night worried.

He realized they were both staring at one another and had been doing so for some time in silence. A few sprinkles of rain began falling, splattering on the foliage around them. The sound of falling rain spilled around them. Drops landed on Harry's glasses and he quickly, but gently, placed the caterpillar on a nearby dry leaf and then removed the glasses.

"Why do you insist on wearing those things?" Severus asked. It was something he had always wondered.

"Because I'm blind without them." Harry replied as if it were the most logical answer.

"But you don't need them. You know eyesight can be corrected… magically." Severus intoned. He withdrew his wand and held it up to the bridge of Harry's nose, just between his eyes. Harry had a look of trepidation but didn't move away.

That was promising.

"_Optic Sanitas Videre_." He gave a light tap of his wand and Harry startled. He blinked and then held his eyes closed tightly, rubbing at them with his hands.

"Open your eyes." Severus demanded and slowly Harry complied. He blinked and looked around himself.

"This is very odd… How come no one ever did this for me before?"

"Why would some one do this for you? You seemed perfectly happy with the glasses. Besides, its not a common spell taught to children."

Harry blinked a few more times, seemingly trying to believe that he was seeing clearly without glasses. His eyes landed once more on Severus and he stared at him for several long moments.

"Thanks." He said softly then stood up on tip-toe and placed a fumbling and rather innocent kiss on Severus' lips. It was unexpected but Severus couldn't stop his arms from circling Harry and holding him there. He returned the kiss, intending it to be quick but more than just fumbling. Instead it turned into something slow and exploring. Harry whimpered in his arms, opening his lips just enough for him to taste the warmth of the younger wizard's mouth. Obviously he'd been eating the fruits from the vanilla orchids they'd found earlier. After several minutes of exploration he broke the kiss, much to Harry's disappointment, and instead nibbled and licked along his jaw line, down just below his ear.

Harry was clinging to him, breathing heavily. "I'm scared. You scare me still. But I don't want you out of my sight. I don't know what I want anymore." He buried his face against Severus' robes. "Promise you wont leave me." Harry whispered in a voice so quiet that Severus wondered if he had heard correctly. He looked down at the dark head pressed to his chest. At some point the rain had started in earnest. Hairy was wet, his hair soaked and sticking to his forehead. Severus registered that he could feel the water sinking into his robes and his own hair was dripping into his eyes.

"Why would I leave you?" He asked. Green eyes bore into him, hands clung to his robes. For a long time Harry looked perplexed and not sure how to answer.

"I don't know… I just worry. Every one I love leaves me." He explained.

Love? The boy was obviously more entangled in the bond than he'd previously thought. Poor bastard. "I have no plans to go any place any time soon." Severus answered. "Except perhaps back to the school before you catch your death from this rain. I'm sure Albus would have some long, endlessly dull lecture for me if that were to happen."

They gathered the basket of samples and returned, walking silently together through the rain.

Slytherin House was in chaos when they returned. Some one had discovered how to make magical silly string and it was trailed all through the dungeons, hanging from light fixtures and clinging to walls. Some of the portraits were tangled in it and the occupants had plenty to say about this. The thing about magical silly string was that it had a tendency to come alive every few minutes and slither around like a giant snake. One could often tell when this had happened because lots of girlish screams could be heard echoing throughout the dungeons until it stopped and returned to regular string.

Harry sat on the floor of Severus' office and helped Cicero untangle the multi-colored string from his feathers. He'd flown in with a message for his owner but found the halls quite full of stringy entanglements and giggling Slytherins. He had plenty to say about it as well. He screeched at Severus and once in awhile lightly nipped Harry's hands. When the stings turned into snakes he would attack them mercilessly. But Harry continued to pull the strings from him anyways. It gave him something to do while Severus stood imposingly over a group of students responsible for the disaster. Draco among them.

"Can I not leave this dungeon for even one day without having to return to disasters? I expected more of you than this. If you had to do this than you should have kept it contained in your common rooms and not brought it down here as well! But I suppose you didn't realize it would grow on its own and slither down here, did you?" He glared at each of the boys until they squirmed anxiously. Except for Draco of course. It was difficult to make Draco squirm.

"I will give you the counter curse but you will be responsible for cleaning it all up afterwards. I don't care if you are awake all night doing so!"

The boys watched as Severus stormed over to Harry and Cicero, withdrew his wand and lightly tapped the owl on his head. "_Serpens Funis Morior_!" The string lost its sparkle and turned to a dull color. Harry picked it off Cicero with little trouble and the owl gave him a thankful trill then turned an angry, round-eyed glare upon Severus.

"Well? What are you waiting for? GET OUT! Clean it up, NOW!" The boys ran for the door. Draco smirked at Harry, turned on his heel and followed his housemates out. Severus slammed the door on them.

"Damned brats!"

He ripped open the letter Cicero had brought, his expression growing more venomous as he read.

"Who's it from?" Harry asked, he stood and shed the wet cloak from his shoulders.

"None of your business." Severus growled. He threw the letter down on his desk and looked at Harry. "You're wet. You may as well go shower and get ready for bed."

He hated when Severus ordered him to do things, like he was a parent. He could accept that the man was his teacher and he was even ready to accept that they were going to be intimately involved but parenting was not in that picture. He spared a moment to glare at the man's back. But there was no point in doing it if Severus couldn't see it. He decided a shower sounded nice after digging around in dirt all day then getting soaked in the rain.

The rooms were warm when he emerged from the shower. Severus must have put a spell on them, the fires didn't usually keep it this warm. Harry wrapped himself in one of the giant, soft towels and padded out of the bathroom. He had intended to go straight to bed but couldn't resist peeking around the open doorway to see what Severus was doing in the main rooms.

The potions master wasn't reading or grading papers or even crouched over a caldron, as was his usual routine. It was dark and he was sprawled in one of the overstuffed chairs before the fireplace. He'd changed out of his wet clothing as well and wore the long black velvet night robe Harry had seen him in on previous nights. It lay open against his chest. Harry blushed, as was his common habit these days. Severus' eyes were closed, long, elegant fingers pressed against his temple, elbow on the arm of the chair. Without realizing he had done so, Harry took several tentative steps into the room towards the other wizard. Somehow he looked troubled, more so than usual.

"Do you have to go to another meeting tonight?" Harry asked, before he could stop the words from spilling forth. He had been anxious about that since the last time it happened. Every night he woke up several times just to be sure Severus was still there.

Slowly Severus opened dark eyes and the hand dropped from his temple as he fixed a hard stare upon Harry. "Why aren't you in bed?" His voice deeper than usual. Harry suddenly remembered he was clad in only this towel and he was out here in the main rooms alone with this man who had done things to him before.

Things that had been against his will but nonetheless made a certain part of his anatomy come to attention at the memory. He bit his lip and scowled at Snape, trying to think of a valid reason for being out here and wishing desperately that he could untangle all these confusing emotions.

But the overriding feeling that seemed to take over his rational mind was need. He couldn't stop his feet from taking those few extra steps towards the older wizard. He told himself he wasn't responsible for his actions. It wasn't his fault that he was climbing onto the chair and straddling Severus' lap. It wasn't his fault that he was resting his head on the other man's chest, which happened to be almost bared by the open robe.

Quickly he whispered, in a rush of words, so that he could get this all out and not regret it in the morning that he hadn't said anything again. "I told you, in the forest today. This bond thing… It makes me want things. But I'm afraid of you and don't even know how to do this, but I want things and I need…" he trailed off because Severus was starring at him with the largest, darkest eyes. He wasn't touching him he wasn't moving at all.

Harry stopped his rambling confession and felt incredibly silly. "You hate me." He moved to get off Severus' lap, to escape from the room as quickly as possible. What kind of an idiot was he? Crawling onto his lap like he was a desperate little dog wanting attention.

Hands encircled his hips and held him immobile. "Don't move."

"But…" He sat still and continued to feel silly but not wanting to move. Not if he didn't have to. "I don't know what you want. I think you must hate me."

"No." Thumbs were rubbing gentle circles on his sides, fingers digging into his upper thighs, over the towel. "Definitely not hate. Just waiting for you to make the first move."

"Oh." Harry blinked at the man. Right. First move. What was the first move? He tried to think of what he would do if this was a normal situation and say Cho Chang was here and he had to make 'the first move' on her. But that apparently was counter effective. He couldn't imagine being with Cho Chang at all any more.

"Kissing is generally a good start, Potter." Severus chastised, in what Harry had come to recognize as a teasing voice. He stared into the dark blackness of Severus' eyes.

Wait. He was naked, clad only in a towel, had a raging hard-on and was sprawled on Severus' lap. This was going to go downhill real fast.

But he would kick himself in the morning if he went another night without having made some progress in this whole relationship mess they had going. And clearly Severus wasn't going to make the 'first move' after the whole forcing Harry thing. Damn. Where was his usual Gryffindor bravery?

Harry closed his eyes, leaned forward and touched his lips to Severus'. It wasn't unlike this afternoon, in the forest. In fact, it very quickly turned into the same slow exploration and teasing. Severus cradled his head in his hands and showed Harry things he didn't know it was possible to do with just a kiss. Who knew you could do that with your tongue? Who taught Severus that?

No, shouldn't think about that. He pulled away from the kiss and pressed closer into the warmth of the body under him. He inhaled deeply of the rain damp hair. This had to be the most relaxed he had been in ages. Well, except for the aching need that was getting stronger.

Severus was saying things to him but Harry couldn't keep track of the words, he was enthralled with the warmth of the skin under him, the evidence of Severus' own feverish need pressed against Harry's inner thigh. He decided to taste all along Severus' throat, down over his collarbone. He was musky and smelled of the forest and the herbs they had gathered.

Harry almost startled and jumped from his place when he felt long fingers suddenly wrapping around his erection. He immediately stilled. Severus stilled. Harry imagined they were like two deer caught in headlights. "Do you want me to stop?" Whispered in his ear.

"You asked that last time." Harry whispered back

"I would this time… stop."

"No. You startled me is all."

Suddenly he was being kissed again. It was a distraction tactic and Harry decided it was working quite nicely. He practiced that tongue thing Severus had shown him earlier. Received a throaty groan in response which urged him on. Those long fingers were sliding over the length of him in a slow, measured rhythm that had Harry alternately moaning and trying to catch his breath.

Impulsively, he felt between their bodies for that answering hardness that pressed against his thigh and took it in his own fist. It was different from himself, of course, he mapped out the feel of it in his hand. He would have to take longer strokes than he did when dealing with his own need. The reality of what they were doing was about to crash down on him. "I don't know…" Harry gasped and almost pulled away from it all. A short, throaty laugh met his ears and Harry had to open his eyes and look to be sure it was Severus, because it was rare to hear the man sound amused.

"I think you know more than you realize." More kissing and Harry fell into the rhythm of it, following Severus' lead, both of them measuring the other's reaction as the pace built. At some point Harry pulled away from the kisses and stared down into the inky pools of Severus' eyes. He tangled his free hand in the mass of long dark hair and tried not to pull on it but it was getting very difficult to control his own actions.

The fingers tightened on his cock, a thumb sliding over the head and he gasped. He couldn't stop staring into those eyes, they had him transfixed and he was certain the man could read him. "I've got you… its okay… " Severus whispered and that was it, Harry tumbled over the edge, aware that he was probably gripping Severus too tightly but there were no complaints from him. In fact there was an answering shiver in the body under him and the hiss of his name pressed against his ear and then warmth spilling between them.

For a moment Harry was certain he had blacked out. But it couldn't have been more than a second or so. He wrapped himself around Severus and tried to get as close as possible. He prayed fervently that they could remain this way and not move for the rest of the night. A gentle stroke of fingers in his hair soothed and anchored him back to reality.

He tried to slow his breathing to concentrate on the heart beating beneath his ear. Severus moved to stand up but Harry wouldn't let go, he made a protesting sound and clung more tightly.

With a heavy sigh of resignation Severus stood anyways and took a clinging Harry with him. "Bed." Was all he said.

Upon reaching the bed Harry allowed himself to be lowered down to it on his back and he lay sprawled and satiated and very much smitten with this man he was bonded to.

Severus used the damp towel from Harry's shower to wipe them both off and then climbed into the bed beside him. Harry snuggled under the covers and pressed himself against the older wizard. "You don't hate me." He whispered.

"Well… not always." Severus answered in his usual drawl.

It wasn't morning yet. So why was he being shaken awake like this? Harry grumbled for the person to leave him alone and tried to burry himself under the blankets again. But the blankets were gone.

"Get up!" Severus hissed. "We're leaving. Get up and get dressed. NOW!"

His eyes flew open. The room was dark still. Severus was at the side of the bed, dressed in… Harry squinted. Muggle clothing. Very nice muggle clothing too. He didn't know Severus owned that kind of clothing much less how to wear it. Because it was dark in the rooms he couldn't make out the exact coloring but it was well tailored.

"Stop staring and get UP!"

He was clearly in a state. Harry didn't want to make it any worse so he climbed out of bed, still naked. The memory of what they had done before going to bed flooded him. Oh no. Was he mad about that? Was something happening because they had been together? He turned from Severus and went towards his chest where he kept his robes.

"No. Not the robes. Wear these." Severus pushed some clothing at him and Harry took it, not bothering to see what it looked like, because he was too busy trying to get dressed in it as quickly as possible.

"Why do we have to go? Where are we going?" Now that sleep was wearing off he was starting to feel an uneasy panic.

"Don't worry about that. Just get dressed and come with me!"


	12. Chapter 12

Harry was sleeping again. Curled under the covers of the king sized bed, in the one bedroom suite they now occupied. It helped that it was still the early hours of the morning and the sun had yet to rise.

Harry had asked relatively few questions, apparently sensing that Severus was not in the mood for them. It was a testament to the bond that the boy followed him so meekly, via floo powder, away from Hogwarts and into the city of London where they found a taxi to bring them to this hotel. He'd asked only about his owl and when Severus explained that the bird would know where he was no matter where they went, Harry became quiet and simply followed.

Clearly he was tired, satiated and calmed from the recent intimacy. That was the only reason he was being so docile. Severus knew he would have to fend off questions as soon as morning arrived. Until then he allowed his mind to wander down other avenues of worry.

What was he thinking? Taking the boy away from Hogwarts in the middle of the night? He had left no note for the Headmaster or any other staff member. And who would teach his classes tomorrow? Or for however long they would be gone?

He had woken up in his bed in the dungeons, Harry curled against him. The contents of the letter Cicero had brought ran through his mind. It was from his cousin, also a Death Eater. His cousin provided him with inside information when he could. He spent more time with the Dark Lord than Severus himself did.

The note had been the second one he'd received in less than a month. It was a warning. The one thing Severus had gleaned from the letter was that something, which had been in the planning stages for over a year, was going to happen at Hogwarts very quickly. Considering the last couple of "plans" the Dark Lord had placed into effect at Hogwarts, Severus didn't want to be around for this one. Also taking into account the way he had been received by the Dark Lord during the last meeting… he was in no hurry to see the Lord again.

It was rare that Severus ever lost his calm over anything or ran from danger. But something had triggered this sudden need to flee. He had a premonition of sorts, and he didn't like to ignore those. He had to get away from Hogwarts and he had to get away with Harry. His mind would not register anything else.

This hotel had been one of many on his list of secret hideaways. Contrary to popular belief he knew the muggle world fairly well. He'd made a few outings when he was younger. Just to see what it was all about. While muggles were not his favorite creatures, they had some good points. Besides, hiding within the muggle world was the best thing to do. Albus wouldn't know where to start looking. The Dark Lord would never suspect Severus would go out amongst the muggles. It was rather a win, win situation.

The Savoy was one of the most expensive hotels in London. Severus had enough family inheritance to purchase a small kingdom in the muggle world. So this was not a big deal to him. Harry however was apparently enthralled. His green eyes were huge as he trailed along after Severus and the bell-hop, up to one of the most expensive suites the hotel had to offer.

The boy had wanted to explore the rooms, but Severus had insisted he go to sleep. Oddly, he had done so with little argument. Now he lay snuggled under the rich quilting of the blankets, little more than his mop of messy dark hair visible.

Severus resisted the urge to reach out and stroke his fingers over that hair. Instead he lay stretched out beside Harry and stared at the ceiling. The dark mark was burning again. Just a little at first but now it was an all out brand of heat on his flesh, pulsing with pain. He flexed his fingers in an effort to make it dissipate. It never worked but he always tried.

He would have to come up with an excuse for his absence from this calling.

Harry murmured something in his sleep and wriggled under the covers until he was pressed to Severus' side.

Damn the boy.

Harry sat at a small table in a secluded section of the hotel restaurant. Severus was opposite him. On the table before them was a breakfast fit for kings. Even better than Hogwarts' house elves cooking.

He was confused and worried about why they were here. But the food was too tempting to ignore and Severus was with him and he didn't have to sit in Potion's class all day while the other students suffered over caldrons and Severus yelled. He was content for the first time in so many months that he didn't want to disturb things just yet. It was like a mini-holiday in the middle of the school year. Severus was behind a muggle morning newspaper.

Harry smiled and thanked the waiter who brought him a new mug of hot chocolate with whipped cream floating atop it. He was just getting ready to lick it all off when he heard a very familiar voice from across the crowded room of tables.

"But Mummy, I finished my grapefruit! Couldn't I just have one biscuit?" Harry cringed. He squeezed his eyes shut and prayed he had imagined that voice. Because why would they be here, in this lavish, expensive hotel?

"Now Popkin, you know you cannot have sweets."

Harry winced and dared to open one eye to look across the room. It was unmistakably the Dursleys. Dudley looked as though the diet had been working. But only barely. He still filled the entire side of a table with his bulk. And there was Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon.

Harry's appetite immediately vanished. He set his cup of chocolate down and felt unsure of what to do. Should he make his escape and go back to the suite? Should he ignore them and hope they didn't notice him?

Severus was oblivious. He turned the page of the morning paper and continued with his reading.

This was odd. Why were they here? Harry was just about to make some excuse to Severus and leave the restaurant when he heard: "Mummy, look! What is HE doing here?"

"Damn." Harry mumbled. He glanced over at the table once more, only to find the entire Dursley clan looking agape at him.

His uncle was turning his usual shade of beat red. And just as Harry imagined he would, the man stood, threw his napkin down on the table and stomped over to them. At which point Severus, realizing they suddenly had company, put the newspaper down and raised an arched brow at Vernon.

"May I help you?" Snape drawled. Harry could hear the acid dripping from each word. Severus hated interruptions of any sort. Uncle Vernon stood over the table, fists clenched, glaring at Harry.

"What are YOU doing here, boy! So help me God, if you are skipping out on that loony farm of a school and –"

"Excuse me. I don't recall asking you to come over to my table and harass my apprentice." Severus hissed. He stood, his height giving him the advantage over Vernon's bulk. A small giddy thrill filled Harry. Severus was quite magnificent in his dark muggle clothing. His hair freshly washed and combed back from his face. He gave the impression of coming from a very rich, very refined background. Harry imagined he probably did, in the Wizarding world at least. He knew relatively little about Severus' past.

Vernon did a double take. He had not noticed Severus, so focused was he on Harry. But now he noticed. He took in the obvious wealth of the tailored clothing, the spread of rich foods on their table. And lastly he took in Harry's own clothing, which was finely made and pressed as well.

An obvious effort was made, on Vernon's part, to backtrack. "Oh. You're app—apprentice, you say? And who might you be? Sir?" He smelled money. Harry could see it in his beady eyes.

Severus continued to glare. Vernon grew uncomfortable with the silence. Aunt Petunia was approaching. Dudley remained at the table and took advantage of his parents' absence to eat some biscuits.

Harry felt a need to explain things to Severus. "Ummm… Sev- Professor, this is my Uncle Vernon and my Aunt Petunia." For some reason he felt like he was in a dream. Because Severus was not supposed to get mixed with Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia. Severus was supposed to be his other life. The one that was magic and potions and things shared in the darkness.

Severus' eyes blackened, if that was possible. He glanced over at Petunia then back to Vernon. "I don't know why you are here, but you would do well to keep away from me and Harry. In fact, I suggest you leave the premises immediately."

Vernon sputtered. His eyes narrowed and his mustache twitched in annoyance. "How dare you assume to tell me where I can and cannot be! I happen to have a very important business conference here! In fact, I happen to be receiving an award and a promotion! I will NOT leave."

Severus continued to glare. Harry chewed on his lower lip and watched with intense interest. "And you listen to me," Vernon continued, daring to poke Severus in the chest with his finger. "If you are one of those freaks from that magic school of his I want nothing to do with you. So just you keep him and yourself away from me and my family!"

There was a heavy sigh from Severus as he gave Vernon a long suffering look. "As I recall, you approached us."

Vernon didn't hear this, he was glaring at Harry again. Petunia however was eyeing Severus with a look of trepidation. She was pulling on Vernon's sleeve, in an effort to drag her husband away from the scene.

Eventually she pulled him away, after Vernon's one last parting comment to them about not being seen anywhere near him or his family.

Severus sat back down, after they had returned to their own table. He scowled at the table for several long minutes. Harry didn't know what to say. He felt the relaxing mood that had fallen over them had been broken.

"Uh, I'm sorry." He mumbled.

"For what? Your half-witted relatives?" Severus raised a brow at Harry in inquiry.

Harry nodded and swallowed the lump in his throat.

"Well, wait until you meet mine."

The first day had been like a vacation, and except for the unfortunate run in with the Dursleys, it had been an exceptional day. Harry wandered about the hotel and Severus gave him free reign with little hovering.

The second day the rain had started. It poured outside and flooded the streets. Umbrellas of varying colors crowded the sidewalks below the hotel windows. Harry had occupied himself within their rooms. He watched television and ordered food from the room service.

Severus ate little. He left the rooms for several hours and returned rain soaked. He and Harry had dinner in one of the hotel restaurants again. The Dursleys were thankfully absent.

A comfortable silence had developed between them and Harry hated to break it. He lay on the plush couch in their suite and listened to the chatter of the evening news on the television while Severus watched the rain outside their windows. He fell asleep.

Some time later, a gentle tickle of fingers caressing his cheek woke him. He opened his eyes to find himself in the large bed and Severus stretched beside him. His sleepy mind didn't have time to consider how he had gotten from couch to bed before he was being kissed.

It was slow and heated and something increasingly familiar. He stretched against the warm body beside him, found his hands acting of their own accord and tangling into the soft dark hair, pulling the other man closer to him.

Harry lost track of time after that. He knew it was the middle of the night and he knew they were in a hotel away from Hogwarts and all the reasons why they might be there fled his mind. He didn't care and he never wanted to know now. Not if it disturbed this.

He wrapped himself around Severus and gave up all pretense of needing to have any control of any of this. It was easier just to let him lead the way anyways. At least this time.

At some point, which Harry couldn't recall, clothes had been removed. Maybe it had happened before he'd been woken up. He would wonder about it tomorrow.

Instead he concentrated on the stretch and smooth slide of muscle above him. The tickle of hair against his cheek as the kisses deepened. The slow build of the ache in his groin and the echo of it pressed against him.

He arched up into that touch and tried not to plead too much for it to continue. Severus was quite good at this. He took them down a path of growing fervor and need until the both of them were at the edge. Several times he took them to that edge before slowing it all back down and starting over.

Soon, Harry was beyond caring about how much begging he did. He felt sure this was some slow torture that Severus was enjoying on his behalf. At last the older wizard took pity on him and a burning heat spread throughout him. He gasped for breath as the heat melted into pleasure for an indeterminate time.

As he came back down, Severus was whispering things to him. But it wasn't English and Harry was beyond trying to comprehend which language it was. Probably Latin or Greek. It was an increasingly endearing behavior Severus had, which he found quite beguiling.

Perhaps it was a sleep charm, because he always fell asleep to it.

Harry wondered, in the light of the next morning, why Severus had initiated that. He contemplated how it had seemed very normal to have simply let it happen, fear had never entered his mind this time. It was after all still sex, even without penetration of any sort.

It concerned him that he had gone from feelings of dread and dislike towards this man to trust, need and want. When did that happen exactly? He sat at the table in their suite and chewed on a piece of toast as Severus stared absently into a mug of steaming tea.

Maybe now was the time to ask why they were here. Maybe something terrible was happening at Hogwarts. Ron and Hermione could be very worried about him. If he had Hedwig here we would send them a note. Did Dumbledore know they were here?

While one part of him was terribly curious to know what was going on, another part did not want to disturb the calm. The same part that wanted to crawl back into bed with Severus and hide there for at least a week or two.

A loud knock broke into his thoughts. Harry dropped his toast and looked over at the doors then back at Severus who was scowling at the same doors.

"Uh…should I get that?" He asked.

Severus blinked and looked at him. Another loud series of knocks and Severus stood and stormed over to the door.

He opened it and Harry heard a familiar screech.

"What do you want?" Severus snarled.

"Oh, nice welcome." A voice very similar to Severus' replied. Harry stretched in his chair to get a look at who was there, although it wasn't necessary because the visitor pushed Severus out of the way and prowled into the room.

It was a man, same height and build as Severus. He wore dark muggle clothing and a full, dark leather overcoat, which swirled about him, not unlike Severus' usual dress robes did.

On the man's shoulder perched Cicero. Harry smiled at the disgruntled look the owl was giving Severus.

"You're owl couldn't find you. So he came to me. With this." The man held out a letter in elegant fingers towards Severus. "I assumed you were here… you're getting predictable."

Severus ripped the letter away and glared at the other man. "Fine. Thanks so much. Good bye."

Cicero chose that moment to notice Harry and immediately broke into his infamous courtship trilling. The visitor turned and noticed Harry as well.

"Well… no wonder you want to get rid of me so quick." He said, glancing back at Severus. "A student – teacher tryst? I didn't think you had time for that sort of thing Sev. But then again…" The man's eyes took in Harry once more, "I can see why you would want to make time."

Harry felt suddenly uncomfortable. He glared at the man and tried not to fidget under that stare. It was remarkably like the one Severus often gave him.

In fact, this man must be a relative because everything about him screamed of Snape bloodlines. His hair was short and dark, generously streaked with silver but he had the same aquiline nose, the same dark eyes the same velvety voice.

"He's not a student. He's my apprentice."

The man looked back to Severus, clearly surprised. "You? An apprentice? Why would you do that, Sev?"

Severus rolled his eyes and apparently accepting defeat, slammed the door, walked back to his place at the table and collapsed into his chair. Harry kept an eye on the visitor. Cicero stopped his trilling and preceded to nibble on the piece of toast Harry had dropped.

"Dumbledore." It was all Severus said. But it was enough. The other man sucked in a sharp breath and nodded a bit in apparent understanding. He took the liberty of sitting at the table with them, one leg crossed over the other, arms resting on the carved wood of the chair.

He looked at Harry again. "He's not going to introduce us. I'm his cousin by the way. Sterling Snape." A hand was held out to him and Harry reached over and shook it.

"Harry." He gave his name.

The eyes widened. It was the usual reaction. They glanced up at his forehead, but his messy hair was covering the scar well enough this morning.

"Yes, its him." Severus mumbled. He had ripped open the letter and was reading over it in his usual scowling fashion.

Harry and the newcomer took the time to stare at one another some more. "You're cousins?" Harry asked at last, feeling a need to break the silence.

"Unfortunately." Sterling groused.

Severus tossed the letter on the table and growled something under his breath.

"I suppose they want you back now." Sterling said, as he reached for the pot of tea and poured himself a cup. "You know, what with all the… disruptions that have taken place in the last few days."

"Disruptions?" Harry asked, heart speeding up with concern. "What disruptions?"

"Oh, nothing too terrible. You know who caught it all in time… as usual." Sterling responded.

"Voldemort?" Harry asked?

"Dumbledore." Both Severus and Sterling answered.

"And I've told you not to speak the Dark Lord's name." Severus reprimanded.

"You took us out of there because you knew something was going to happen? Something bad?" Harry accused. He knew he should have asked earlier why they left like that, but he hadn't. And now he couldn't blame Severus entirely for not saying anything because he himself had never even tried to find out.

Severus was watching him. Sterling was watching Severus. Cicero was still eating toast.

"I want to go back now. I want to see my friends." Harry demanded. Severus raised a brow at the tone.

"We will go back, when I say we can." His tone offered no chance to argue. Harry glared at both men.

"Go downstairs. Go get some real breakfast in the restaurant." Severus threw one of the many credit cards he possessed across the table to Harry.

For a minute Harry made no move to reach for it. He didn't want to leave these rooms. He wanted to know what they were going to talk about. He had a right to know didn't he?

"Go." Severus said more softly but still demanding.  
Harry looked into his eyes and saw something like regret reflecting back at him. He gave into it and took the shiny gold card. He put on his shoes and left the rooms with one final glance back at the two Snapes.

He vowed to get answers when he returned from breakfast.

After breakfast Harry took time to walk around the hotel and explore the amenities once more. He had never been in such a rich and extravagant setting. Everything polished to a glossy shine. There were chandeliers and expensive oriental carpeting. The people that walked about the lobby were very high class and Harry sat for awhile in a large velvet chair and watched them come and go.

He had no desire to return to the suite yet. In fact, he was tempted to leave the hotel on his own and find his way back to Hogwarts. Show Severus that just because they were bonded he was not attached to him physically.

Instead he was determined to stay down here until Severus was forced to come down for him. He would not return to the suite on his own only to be kicked out again.

He was just contemplating taking a walk outside, even though it was raining, when Dudley appeared.

Harry mentally cursed himself for not paying more attention to his surroundings.

"Oh, look. It's the freak." Dudley snickered. He leaned his bulk against Harry's chair and invaded his personal space. "Why are you down here all alone, runt?"

Harry gave him a dirty look. "None of your business. Go away." He felt for his wand, which he kept up his shirtsleeve, all too aware he wasn't supposed to use under-aged magic in the muggle world. But just the sight of the wand tended to put Dudley off his game.

"Where's that creepy guy you were with?" Dudley looked around, making certain the 'creepy guy' wasn't nearby. "Makes sense you know. You skipping off from that crazy person's institution with some freak. They probably kicked you out."

"Shut up and go away." Harry said in an attempt at a calm voice. Sometimes if he didn't show any reaction to Dudley the other boy would get bored and leave him alone.

"What's that on your neck? You got a girlfriend? Probably had to pay her to give you that."

Harry flinched. He touched his throat and felt the tender spot where Severus had apparently marked him the previous night. He blushed of course. He'd thought it was well covered by his shirt collar. Apparently not.

"Sick. Who would want you?" Harry glared at the other boy. He considered taking out his wand right there and turning Dudley into a fruit fly or something else equally short lived. But he didn't know the incantation for that. He would have to ask Severus.

"For the last time, go _away!_" Harry said between clenched teeth, wand held tightly in his fist.

"Or what? You'll set your girlie friend on me? Hey, maybe she could suck me off too."

That was it. Harry lost all sense of diplomacy and whipped out his wand. Dudley visibly blanched and took a step back. "_Lavo induviae"_ Harry hissed. Instantly Dudley wet his pants. It was a very fast acting spell and one that came in handy when you needed to embarrass the object of said spell. Harry was pleased to see it worked out so well. He had never used it on anyone, just learned about it from Fred and George.

He was just thinking of a few others he had learned, while living with the Slytherines, when Dudley turned and ran from the lobby, leaving a puddle behind him.

It occurred to Harry that he had just used under aged magic. But considering the lack of consequences he had faced the last few times he'd done it, he wasn't too worried. Besides, it had been completely worth it. He stuffed his wand back up his shirtsleeve and glanced around the lobby. No one seemed to notice. But he wasn't too thrilled with sitting there beside the puddle. Perhaps he would not wait for Severus to come down and get him after all.

Upstairs in the suite there was silence. Severus was not there. Cicero and Sterling were. Harry walked into the main room, frowning at the absence.

"He had to see some one… about something." Sterling explained. He was settled on one of the couches, legs stretched out before him, arm along the back, looking entirely at home and comfortable.

Harry watched him. Sterling returned the look. For several long minutes they had a small staring contest. Finally Harry gave in and looked away.

"You can't stare down a Snape, charm. I would think you had learned that by now."

He flinched at the endearment but otherwise continued to glare at Sterling. "Why are you still here?"

"Oh, that's polite. Learning your manners from him are you?"

Harry didn't answer. He stomped over to the ornately carved desk in the corner of the room. Took out some hotel stationary, found a pen and started a letter to Hermione and Ron.

"He's in love with you."

Harry froze, just as he placed the dot over the "i" in _Dear Ron and Hermione. _He resisted the urge to look back over his shoulder at the other man.

"How would you know?" He said, rather flippantly. It irritated him that this man could read Severus better than he could. That he knew things about Severus that Harry himself did not know. He knew why Severus had taken them away from Hogwarts. And he knew how Severus felt about him too?

"Because, he's ditched his job. He didn't attend the last death eater meeting, something he's going to be paying very dearly for, and he's in a hotel suite with one bed and you. Not to mention he has yet to break it to the Dark Lord that he's bonded to you or even that he's taken you as an apprentice. He's protecting you. He wouldn't do that unless he had serious feelings."

"Well, it would be nice to know just what I'm being protected from!" He threw down the quill and turned back to the other Snape. "How come he doesn't talk to me? But he tells you everything?"

"The only thing he told me, is that he would like me to stay here with you while he goes to make amends with the Dark Lord. The bond part is obvious and just typical of something Dumbledore would do."

Harry felt his skin prickle and his heart skipped a beat. "He went to Volde- Him? He promised to tell me when he goes there!"

Sterling was raising one dark brow and looking remarkably Snape-ish. "Oh. Perhaps I wasn't meant to tell you that."

"I don't like you." Harry said, matter of factly.

"I'm hurt."

He turned back to his letter and tried to ignore the other wizard. He very much wanted to get a note off to Hermione and Ron, just to reassure them he was alright and to try and find out what was happening at Hogwarts.

The thought that Severus actually loved him kept distracting him, but he placed it in the back of his mind long enough to get the letter written.

_Dear Ron and Hermione,_

_I am fine and am with Snape in London. I don't know why he took me away from Hogwarts but am worried about something bad happening there. Please use this owl to write back to me about what is going on there._

_Love, Harry._

He rolled the paper into a tiny scroll and found some thread to tie it to Cicero's leg. The owl glared a him as he opened one of the windows and explained who the letter was for, then nipped him rather hard on the hand and flew out the window.

Harry rubbed at the bite on his hand. It wasn't out of order for him to be using Cicero, was it? Snape was his bonded now. They were together. He would certainly allow Severus to use Hedwig if he needed.

"I'm sure Sev will be thrilled that you just gave away this location."

Harry remembered Sterling was still there and wished he could make the man leave somehow. But since he was obviously staying, and he was a clear source of information about Severus…

He turned back to Sterling and, with forced bravado, sat on the opposite end of the couch, fixing his eyes on the man.

"Clearly he hasn't taught you about Occlumency and Legilimency yet." Sterling announced, eyes meeting Harry's.

Harry blinked. He'd never heard those words before. "Occlu-whats-it?"

There was an answering smile on Sterling's lips. He didn't appear to have as many issues with smiling as Severus did.

"Occlumency, the ability to block your thoughts and emotions from others who can read them."

Harry sat open mouthed and staring.

"And Legilimency, the ability to read the thoughts and emotions of another… generally by staring into the _eyes_ of the intended target."

He continued to stare at the older wizard, processing this information.

"You see, the Snape bloodline is quite well known for strong inclinations towards both Legilimency and Occlumency."

Quickly Harry looked away from those dark eyes and cursed under his breath. "I knew it." He said to himself and not necessarily for Sterling to hear. "I knew he was reading minds. Ever since my first day at Hogwarts!"

How often had Severus used this on him, Harry wondered. His mind raced back over all the times he'd unwittingly stared into those ink black eyes.

Sterling continued, as if he didn't hear. "You want to know what is happening at Hogwarts? You want to know why you are here? And why Sev went to see the Dark Lord and didn't tell you?"

Gritting his teeth, Harry nodded. He hated that this man was reading him like this. He hated this man the way he used to hate Severus.

"I'm sure he wont like me telling you. However, I could care less. And since you are stuck with him and I'm not…" Harry chanced a glance at Sterling. Was that understanding or pity on his face? He didn't know him well enough to read it.

"Lets just say Hogwarts has been under a bit of a plague the last few days. Rather a bad virus that spreads quite fast." One of those elegant hands pushed Harry back down before he realized he had moved to stand. "Before you get all in an uproar and rush out of here with heroic notions, your friend Dumbledore took care of it before it could kill anyone. It would have certainly been contained much more quickly had Severus been there to prepare the proper antidote. But he was here… with you."

Harry's stomach felt like a lead weight. How could Severus have done that? Was he so heartless?

"As for the second question, I don't know why Sev brought you here. Haven't you asked?"

Harry bristled. Sterling _knew_ that he had not asked.

"No. I didn't ask!" He yelled, fists clenched in sudden and overwhelming anger. "I didn't want to know! I'm sick of all of this! I just wanted a few days of not worrying about everything all the time! Is that too much!" He was furious that Severus had deliberately put the rest of the school in danger. Had never told him why they left. Had gone to meet with Voldemort and left him here with this man he didn't know. And he was most angry at himself for trying to ignore it all, when he knew deep down something wasn't right.

Sterling, as usual, was watching him closely. "No… nothing wrong with that. Ignorance is bliss, isn't it?"

Silence filled the room. A clock ticked on the mantel of the fireplace, raindrops pattered at the windowpane.

After a few minutes the anger filtered away and he was left with worry, again. "When will he be back?"

"Soon. I told you."

"Why did he go? Why are you staying here? And why should I trust you? You're a death eater too, aren't you?"

Sterling leaned closer, amusement written all over his features. "Sweetling, you are sleeping with a death eater and you question whether you can trust me to sit in the same room with you?"

Heat filled Harry's face as he looked away.

"He had to make amends." Sterling continued. "I explained that before. He deliberately missed the last gathering. The Dark Lord doesn't forgive easily."

More questions filled his head, threatening to create a terrible headache if he didn't untangle them all. He curled up on the end of the couch and watched the rain fall against the floor length windows. "Why haven't you taken me to Volde- Him?"

"The Dark Lord?"

Harry gave a slight nod, not looking back at the man.

"Well, that's the question, isn't it? The thing is, that whole Legilimency and Occlumency talent all Snape's have… it's rather a gift and a curse all at once. We tend to know the intentions of those near to us quite well. It makes it difficult to blindly follow when you know the true intent… if you can understand that."

Harry wasn't sure he did understand. But he had an idea of what Sterling must mean, though he didn't say anything. He continued to watch the rain outside the windows.

Minutes passed in silence and Sterling stood, wandered around the suite and returned with a book. He took a seat in one of the armchairs and proceeded to read. Leaving Harry to his thoughts and worries.

Harry, mind muddled with too much new information, continued to watch the rain.

Harry thought that he was done with nightmares. That the bonding had brought them to an end. But last night he had woken, on the couch where he'd fallen asleep, and he was screaming. He couldn't remember why. But Severus was back. Like he had never left. Not a scratch on him. And no more Sterling.

Harry clung to him and breathed in deeply of the warm familiar scent. The older wizard held him close and spoke a few calming words. Just the sound of the voice brought Harry back to the reality he had fallen asleep on. Snape had left him. He'd left without telling him and he had left him with another death eater. Not to mention what he had learned about mind reading and how Severus never told him about his abilities in that regard.

He shoved hard at the other wizard and pulled out of his embrace. "Damned you!" A great heat of anger filled him. He punched and hit at the strong chest in front of him as hard as he could. Severus, at first too shocked to stop him, did nothing but allow the blows to fall against him. But then grabbed Harry's arms in an effort to restrain him. "Stop it! What has gotten into you?"

"Why did you leave and not tell me!" Harry yelled, breath shallow and face flushed. He glared at the dark eyes that stared back into his own. He knew now that Severus was trying to read him and it fueled his anger. "You just left me here with your death eater cousin and didn't even tell me when you would be back! You took me from Hogwarts and didn't tell me why! You've been reading my mind all these years and never told me! You never tell me anything!"

Severus appeared to flinch, losing his usual calm façade for just a second. Then the usual, finely arched brow was raised as Severus regarded him. "You know I'm not the type to spill my inner most feelings and thoughts out to the world."

"I'm NOT the world! We're bonded for life! You're stuck with me! I wouldn't mind knowing who the Hell you are!"

Harry continued to glare, aware that Severus was still holding him immobile. He unclenched his fists and forced himself to relax although adrenaline continued to race throughout his body.

He pulled himself free of the hands that clenched him and wrapped his arms around Severus neck, placing a very determined kiss to those lips. It wasn't something Severus was expecting. Harry wasn't entirely sure what propelled him to do it. But now that he was doing it he felt a certain amount of control take over.

Perhaps this is where his strength was after all. He deepened the kiss and thrilled at the feel of strong arms sliding around him, the almost groan that came from Severus.

Harry pressed closer, wishing he could simply make both of their clothes disappear. He really didn't want to break his momentum by stopping to undress.

Severus pulled away from the kiss and gave him a bewildered look. "What are you doing?"

"I want you." Harry announced, matter of factly. "I want to be with you. I want to know you. If you aren't going to talk, then I want you the only way you obviously plan on giving yourself." He started working on the buttons of the dark muggle shirt Severus wore.

Severus blinked at him, eyes darkening. "Don't tease. I promised I wouldn't force you again. I haven't exactly come back from fun at the beach or something. Its not as if I took off on a wonderful holiday and left you behind! You're acting like a resentful child."

"Stop treating me like one then!"

He shoved hard, pushing Severus back on the couch and climbing onto him. "I'm not teasing. I'm asking you to take me again. Like the first time." For a fleeting moment Harry questioned his own sanity, but tucked it to the back of his mind. He wanted to control this. He wanted to prove that he could do this. It was proof for himself more than Severus.

He kissed the other man again, melted against him and within minutes had both of them breathless and removing clothing. Good thing too, because as things progressed Harry was questioning his course of action. But determination and lust propelled him.

Clothes finally removed, Severus tumbled them both to the floor and pressed against the length of Harry's body. It was almost familiar now. The feel of the sleek, muscled body above him.

"Are you certain?" Severus asked, a final time. A small vial of something Harry assumed to be lubricant of some type appeared in Severus hand.

"I wouldn't have started it if I wasn't!" Harry replied, lifting his head to kiss again, to bite at the strong jaw line. He tangled his hands in the soft abundance of black silken hair, certain it was painful to Severus, but not letting go.

Severus, for his part, was making fast progress with the lubrication. Harry gasped and tried not to thrust against the other man. "Now, do it now!" He hissed, wrapping his legs around Severus, trying to pull him in.

He enjoyed the sound of Severus drawing a sharp breath of surprise, cursing under his breath, just loud enough for Harry to make out the words. "Obviously something has you riled up." Severus observed, but otherwise complied with Harry's demand. He positioned himself and pressed forward, filling him slowly.

Harry drew a deep breath as he felt the fullness he remembered from that first night. His fingers clung more tightly to the dark hair of Severus' head, dragging him down for more deep kissing. Anything to distract his thoughts from that first night and the slight tingle of pain.

At last Severus was pressed to him and an overwhelming sense of completion spread over him. Harry clung more closely to Severus. "Don't move." He breathed against Severus ear. "Not yet."

"I wont, if you let go of my hair." Severus gritted out through clenched teeth. Harry released his grip on the silken strands. Severus made a grateful sound and settled more comfortably against Harry. He stared down into Harry's eyes for several long moments.

"I know you're reading my mind." Harry breathed.

"Actually, I'm not. Did you want me to?"

"No. I want you to stay still!" Harry breathlessly snarled, aware that Severus had taken up a very slight movement. Just enough to keep them both on an edge of pleasure.

"What is wrong with you? You want to control this? Then do so!" Severus rolled them over in one swift movement and Harry lay startled atop him.

He was flustered. Not certain what to do, where to place his hands. Severus stretched beneath him, causing a ripple of ecstasy to fill Harry. He whimpered and then glared as Severus eyes filled with a glint of amusement. "So, don't move." Severus baited in his usual deadpanned tone.

Determined to wipe the smirk off Severus face Harry firmly placed his hands on either side of older wizard's head and moved. Tentative at first and then more certainly as Severus fought the urge to meet him halfway. Harry ducked his head down, kissing slowly and building the pace, his hands moving over the strong chest beneath him.

Severus slid his hands downward, one placed firmly on Harry's hip, the other wrapped around his hardened cock. Harry hissed at the sensation, he'd been too intent on bringing Severus over the edge first. Here was this new pleasure to try and hold onto. But he refused to be first to climax this time.

He quickened his movements, tried to tighten his muscles and drag the passion from his partner. He was rewarded with a sharp hiss from Severus and an almost arch of the back. "You first." Harry panted, pressing his lips against the exposed throat beneath him. Severus was putting up a fight of sorts, but in the end Harry won out.

He almost laughed as he felt the completion of his own climax spill between them. When he was past the ecstasy he did laugh. He lay his head on Severus' chest and chortled at the giddy thrill that filled him.

"What is wrong with you?" Severus groused in an all too relaxed voice. But Harry could hear the annoyance beneath it.

"You." Harry answered.

The following morning Severus watched Harry reading a letter that Cicero has brought to their suite window. Sterling had filled him in on everything that had happened while he was with Voldemort. While he was angry that his cousin had taken the liberty of telling Harry things that Severus had deliberately kept silent, he was also relieved to no longer have to dread telling Harry those things himself.

Obviously the telling had upset some balance in Harry. The boy was demanding and restless. He'd already mentioned three times this morning that he wanted to go back to Hogwarts.

And they would go back too. Just as soon as Severus felt prepared for facing Albus. He'd already had to deal with one meddling, superego and he liked to have some time to collect his thoughts before facing the other.

"Hermione says that some of the students were sent home for the rest of the year because they got so ill." Harry said this as if it were Severus' fault.

"Good. A few less dimwitted children to deal with."

Harry frowned at him. "Ron says you should have been there because you could have helped with the potions needed to fight off the illnesses. Madam Pomfrey was too sick to do it all herself."

"Oh… the guilt." Severus commented dryly.

"Right!" Harry stomped over to him. "I wonder if you could be a bit more cynical and uncaring about this!"

"I'm sure I could. I wonder if you could please read your letter in silence and not bother me with your little friends' observations. I'm well aware of the situation at Hogwarts. Why do you think I pulled you out of there?"

"To avoid the mess? So you wouldn't have to get involved. So you could save yourself the stress of it? So you wouldn't have to face Voldemort and tell him why you helped!"

Severus stared at Harry. The boy was livid. He clenched the letter from his friends in a fist at his side. His hair was still messy from sleep and his clothes rumpled. He hadn't bothered to dress in new ones this morning. Just gathered up the old ones from the floor and dressed in quick, angry movements.

"First of all, do _NOT_ refer to the Dark Lord by that name!" Severus snarled. "How many times do I have to drill that into you? Second, I did not remove us from Hogwarts in order to avoid the situation. I removed you in order to avoid _you_ becoming ill. I removed you in order to protect _you_. It's the bond. It tends to make me protective that way. If I could control it I would. Believe me!"

Harry's façade of anger fell slightly. Large green eyes blinked at him for several long moments. Cicero twittered lightly from across the room. The clock on the mantel ticked. The rain still fell outside, pattering against the windows. It had not stopped since they arrived.

"I'm not going to debate with you." Severus said, breaking the silence between them. "I'm tired of it. All I wanted was some peace. I wanted to be out from the middle of it all. But you want to go back? Fine. We'll go back." He stood in one swift movement, gathered the black overcoat he'd thrown over a chair and put it on. "Get your coat. We're going back."


	13. Chapter 13

_Note from step author (all other notes bellow this are by the initial author): GUYS! I'M SOOOO SORRY! I SO DIDN'T MEAN TO! I originally posted this with the previous chapter as its content. For that I'm really sorry. The computer lab at the Hebrew College is not a very productive environment for typing. I had one person pulling my hair and another trying to sit in my lap. I know that isn't a good excuse, so I'll try to be more careful I'M SOOO SORRY!_

DISCLAIMER: Harry Potter and all characters portrayed are not mine. I make no profit from this.

**WARNING: **This is **slash** (Harry/Severus) and **MPREG**. I would rate particular chapter PG13. There are sexual situations in this story between two male wizards. **You have been warned!**

Also, I have set up a website for this story. If you check my profile on my homepage is listed there.

Sorry to those of you who would rather this not go the mpreg direction. I've really tried to just give it some sort of action/Voldemort type of plot. But I just can't write action. I'm more drama/relationships. So, its going the mpreg direction, otherwise the story will just end a terrible plotless death. : (

"You were lucky Snape took you, Harry." Hermione was saying as they sat before the fire in the Gryffindor common room. Crookshanks was curled in a fluffy, ginger ball on Harry's lap. Ron and Hermione sat together on the small couch across from the chair Harry was in. They were alone in the room, the rest of the Gryffindors having left for evening meal already.

"Yeah, some luck." Ron agreed. "Though it would have been nice if you had left a note before going. We were worried. I thought the greasy git had taken you off to feed you to You Know Who."

Harry frowned slightly at the nickname for Severus, but let it pass. Ron was paler than usual, his freckles stood out more prominently. He'd been one of the victims of the virus and was just getting over it. More than 30 students had been sent home for the rest of the school term and some of the staff was still ill as well.

"He wouldn't take me to Voldemort." Harry commented, absently petting Crookshanks. Ron looked a bit confused at the comment but didn't question it.

"Harry. You have to tell him." Hermione suddenly piped in.

Harry glared at her. "No. I don't."

"Harry, I will not keep avoiding the subject around him. Its very difficult for me to be in the middle of this!" She fixed him with a hard stare. "You tell him, or I will."

"Tell what?" Ron asked, confused. He was looking from Harry to Hermione.

Harry's stomach felt suddenly tight and fully of butterflies. Or perhaps it was just Crookshanks' purring. Anger boiled up inside of him at the feeling of being pushed into a corner like this. And by one of his best friends as well?

"I can't do it right now. I'm not ready. Please Hermione." He tried to give her a desperate look but she was only returning her glare.

"It will never be the right time, Harry. You can't lie forever."

"Will one of you please tell me what you are going on about!" Ron yelled.

Both Harry and Hermione looked at their friend. There was no way around it. Harry closed his eyes and fought the urge to run from the room. Either Ron would accept this or he would hate Harry for the rest of his life. But Hermione was right. He couldn't lie forever and he couldn't make her stay in the middle.

Harry opened his eyes and focused on Crookshanks. He ran his hands over the cat's soft tufts of fur as he started to talk, not looking at Ron.

"Okay. It's about me and Sev- Professor Snape." Harry started.

"What?" Ron asked.

"We… He and I are…" He glanced up at Ron and couldn't continue. The look in his friend's eyes was too open. And Ron was going to blow up as soon as he heard. Harry looked over at Hermione, silently begging her for some help.

She gave a sigh of frustration. "What Harry needs to tell you Ron, is that he and Professor Snape are bonded."

Ron said nothing as the news sunk in. "Bonded? Like… like how?"

"Like a wizard's bond, Ron. Like together, forever as one couple…?" Hermione explained.

Ron looked from her to Harry and back. "But that's…" A look crossed his face that Harry had been waiting for. Disgust and disbelief all in one. "Harry wouldn't do that!" Ron insisted, glaring at Hermione.

"Harry didn't have a choice. It was that or go mad from the nightmares and the connection he had to Voldemort." Hermione continued to explain. Ron flinched at the Dark Lord's name. He shook his head slightly, still not believing it.

"Harry, you wouldn't." Ron looked at him, pleading for him to deny it. "Not with him! With Snape!"

Harry swallowed and looked at his friend. "I have. We have. It wasn't really a choice, Dumbledore did it to us."

"But with Snape! Bonded! Harry you have to have sex with him! Bonded wizards and witches are mated together for life!" It was just like it had been with Sirius. Harry hated this. He felt like he should feel guilty about Severus. But lately, all he felt for Severus was desperate affection and something like safety. Ron was looking more pale than he had previously.

"I know about the sex part." Harry mumbled, looking down at Crookshanks again.

"Oh no. You have already haven't you? You've already slept with him? Harry, what is wrong with you!" Ron yelled. He stood and looked about ready to bolt from the room.

"Ron, you don't understand. It was Voldemort, he was making me sick from the nightmares and he could read my emotions and-"

Ron held up a hand for Harry to stop talking. "I don't care. Nothing could be so terrible that you would just let yourself be bonded to… to him! Harry! You aren't even gay! You love Cho!"

"Not any more." Harry said, but Ron didn't hear, he was pacing the floor and running his hands over his hair, causing it to stick out at odd angles.

"I don't know what possessed you, Harry." Ron said at last. He was shaking his head in disbelief. "I thought I knew you, mate. But I didn't at all. This is just sick and very wrong, Harry!"

"Ron!" Hermione chastised.

"Well! You kept this from me too! How long have you known?" Ron demanded.

"I made her promise not to tell. Don't take this out on her." Harry jumped to her defense.

"Oh, excellent! Well you two just stay down here and chat about your love life, Harry. But I don't think I can stomach the thought of it. It was bad enough you had to be his apprentice. But this too!" Ron stormed from the room, up to his bedchambers.

Harry and Hermione sat silently. Crookshanks continued to purr, his paws massaging Harry's lap. The claws were rather sharp but Harry didn't want to push the cat away.

"He'll come around, Harry. Just give him some time." Hermione said at last.

Harry watched as Crookshanks proceeded to wash his face, licking his paws and rubbing them over his face, still purring.

"No he won't." Harry mumbled, and to his horror he felt tears sliding down his cheeks. Quickly he rubbed at them with the back of his hands.

"Harry!" Hermione stood and went over to sit on the arm of Harry's chair. She patted him reassuringly on the back. "You're taking this too hard. Ron's just hot blooded. He'll think it all through and come around. I promise."

"Maybe." Harry buried his face in Crookshanks' fur and fought the need to cry. He would _not_ break down like this.

"Harry? What is wrong? Is it Professor Snape? Did he do something else to you while you were gone?" Hermione asked in a quiet, concerned voice.

"No. Not really." He wiped at the tears again. This was not like him at all to just burst into tears over… not Ron. He wasn't crying about Ron. He knew Ron would react that way. Why was he crying?

Hermione hugged him and slid down to squeeze into the chair with him. "You've just been through a lot. You need to just rest and eat some food and you'll be fine tomorrow." She said.

He nodded, and tried to reel in all the emotions. "Hermione?" Harry asked, when he felt sure his voice was clear enough to speak.

"Yes?"

"Will you eat dinner with me in the Hall? I don't want to go alone."

"Of course. Where is Professor Snape anyways?" She asked, as she stood and put on her outer robes.

"With Dumbledore." Harry answered.

"Tell me Severus, did you think I wouldn't know where you went?" Albus was pouring tea.

Severus sat in his usual chair, in the headmaster's office. He watched the tea spill into the rounded cup on the saucer.

"I could only hope." Severus answered.

"I'm sorry London had such damp weather while you were away."

Severus gave the older wizard his patented blank look. Of course the fool had known where they were. He probably had magical pixies following them or something.

"And I'm sorry I missed all the sickness. Really too bad that more students weren't sent home for the year." Severus responded.

Dumbledore smiled his usual good-natured smile. "Well, we survived it better than I thought we could have. Though its true it would have been nice to have your potion's expertise around."

Severus said nothing. Just watched the steam rise from the teacups on the desk.

"How is Harry?" Albus prompted.

"Fine."

"And how is your cousin?"

Severus clenched his teeth against the irritation that threatened to blow up from him. "Fine." He answered. He reached for the teacup and took a sip. It burnt his tongue.

"I understand Harry did a bit of underage magic while he was away? I assume you had that under control?" Albus peered over his own teacup, fuzzy white eyebrows raised.

"What?" Certainly he'd heard wrong. The boy mentioned nothing about doing any magic while they were gone.

"Underage magic? I believe it was a curse on his cousin Dudley… he didn't tell you? Severus perhaps you and Harry should talk more."

"Perhaps we will." Severus answered. He set the cup of tea back on the desk for fear of throwing it across the room in anger. Why hadn't Harry mentioned that to him?

"Now, don't be hard on him. It wasn't anything too bad. He's lucky the Ministry was busy with the virus at the school here and not keeping close watch on that sort of thing just then."

"I'll deal with him." Severus promised. Ideas flashed through his head on just how to deal with him.

"Severus, be gentle."

"He's bonded to me, Albus, I'm incapable of hurting him!" Snape seethed. The old man knew this. Why was he telling him to be gentle when he couldn't hurt the boy even if he wanted?

What his brain told him would be best for Harry was a solid smack upside his head. However, the emotional ties would keep him from following through on such a punishment. He would have to come up with something else.

"I mean Severus, be _gentle_ with him…" Severus fixed his eyes on the headmaster. Clearly the man had a meaning other than what he was saying. Damn him! Why couldn't he just say it? Always these damned riddles. Severus refused to ask him to elaborate. He never did anyways. Just spouted out more riddles.

"Did you want to provide me with some type of chastisement for leaving without notice? Or did you just want to tell me to be gentle with Harry?"

Dumbledore considered this. He drank his tea and ate a biscuit while Severus sat and watched.

"Oh for God's sake!" Severus finally spit out. "What do you want from me?"

"I don't want anything Severus. I just thought you would like to talk about what happened while you were gone. Perhaps you could tell me about what Voldemort said to you?"

Severus gave a deep sigh. "What he always says. 'I want to take over the wizarding world.' And then he discovered that I'm sleeping with Harry Potter. Now he's thrilled that I'm closer to the source of his previous downfall and he wants me to kill Harry, of course. But you put that nice Bond on us both and so of course I can't kill him! So you see Albus, my life is a great circle of constant deceptions in order to save my own life. And really I gave up caring about my life quite some time ago. But now I have Harry and I still don't care about my life yet I'm sickeningly concerned about his." He glared at Dumbledore, willing him to not ask him any further questions about the Dark Lord. "So I can't exactly be as careless about my little spy missions as I once was."

Albus continued to watch him. "Yes, Severus. I realize this. And I understand your concern for Harry and your anger at being placed in the middle of everything. But you must realize, I also have Harry's best interests in mind and you can trust me far more than you can trust Voldemort with his life."

"So you say." Severus grumbled. He rubbed his hands over his face and back through his hair.

Severus sat at his desk in his dungeon rooms and scratched out a plan for tomorrow's lessons. He'd been absent for several days, however the school had also been in turmoil with the sickness. So really not too much had been missed as far as class work was concerned.

So focused was he on his plans that he did not hear Harry return from evening meal. Until the boy approached his desk, freshly washed from a shower.

Severus felt his skin prickle at the familiar presence. Yet another happy side-effect of the bond. He wrote out a few more lines for his lessons, very carefully set his quill down, crossed his hands before him on the desk and looked at Harry.

Dark, wet hair clung to his forehead and his lashes were spiky with water from the shower, his skin glowed a rosy pink. Severus felt the usual need rise inside him at the site but fought it back. After all, he had a certain issue to discuss with his 'bonded'.

Harry leaned against the desk, wrapped in a long, dark robe of thick wool.

"I told Ron about us." Harry announced.

Irritation prickled at Severus' already precarious emotional state. "Splendid. I'm sure he will have it spread throughout the school by the end of tomorrow."

"He wouldn't!" Harry objected, but a fleeting look of concern passed over his features.

"Wouldn't he?" Severus asked, not really caring about the answer. He knew it would happen eventually. He expected to receive some nice howlers in the next few days, from outraged citizens, regarding his debauchery of the savior of the wizarding world.

"Tell me Harry, did you get to talk any further with your relatives while at the hotel in London?" He threw the line out and waited.

Crystal green eyes fixed on his own then glanced away quickly. He'd been doing that since Severus returned. Assuming, no doubt, that he was reading his mind every time he looked into Severus' eyes.

"Just once. With my cousin." Harry picked up the quill from Severus' desk and ran the feather through his fingers. Faking disinterest in the subject, and not doing a very good job of it.

"I see. And how did that go?" Severus gave him one more chance to freely tell what had happened.

"Fine." Harry answered.

"Why are you lying? Do you honestly believe I don't know you performed underage magic while I was gone? Do you recall the last time I lectured you on this subject?"

"Of course." Harry answered, defiantly. "You nearly had me and Ron expelled."

"Yes. And I could do it this time with no need to call McGonagall into it!"

"But you wouldn't!" Harry shot back, eyes blazing green.

"No I wouldn't. However, I can order you to provide me with four feet of parchment on the Decree for Restriction of Underage Wizardry and why it was put into effect… due tomorrow night."

Harry gasped. "Four feet?" He repeated.

"You heard me." Severus answered, one brow raised.

Harry glared. He looked much younger than his years. "It was only an _Induviae_ spell. No one saw." Harry grumbled as he tossed himself on the couch by the fire and stared into it.

"I didn't ask for details on the spell. I asked for the essay." Severus forced himself to return to his lesson plans, dipped his quill in the ink and started writing again.

The following day Harry sat at his little corner desk in the Potions' dungeon classroom. Books about the Ministry of Magic, the history of decrees were made and how underage magic came to be one, were piled about him. It was the dullest reading he had ever done. And he only had half the scroll written by time the final class of the day. It was Harry's year mates, Slytherin/Gryffindor class.

Severus was setting up the ingredients for the class. Harry was so involved in his writing that he hadn't noticed the entrance of the students. He finally glanced up and saw Ron sitting with Hermione but not looking at him. Hermione gave him a half smile and a small shrug, indicating no change in Ron's mood. At least there had yet to be any surfaced rumors about his and Severus' bond.

Across the room the Slytherins were sitting in their desks, watching Severus set up. They were all on good behavior today, due to the punishments they'd received the previous night when Severus had to get out of bed at a ridiculous hour of the early morning and lecture them on the misuse of charmed blades.

Harry wondered sometimes how the Slytherins had so few deaths in their ranks. Just last night 3 of them had been sent up to Madam Pomfrey for stitches. Draco among them.

Harry forced his wandering mind to return to the books as Severus started class. He flipped through one of the larger books, looking for the section on age restrictions for various magics when something caught his eye. He flipped back a few pages and stopped at, 'Statutory Rape and the Underage Wizard". He stared down at the page as words jumped out at him. 'tragic and predictable consequence' 'predatory adult wizards' 'sexual assault' and then the next page, 'underage pregnancies' all this was enough to cause Harry to feel suddenly dizzy. But it was the words on the following page that caused his entire body to go cold, 'underage pregnancy rates are higher in female witches than in male wizards.'

Harry blinked at the sentence because it didn't seem to read correctly to him. If the witch was pregnant wouldn't it follow that the wizard who knocked her up was also going to be a father? How could it be higher for females? He scanned down the paragraph and came to realize a new fact that he never knew about being a wizard. Pregnancy was reality for males and females.

How typical that no one had bothered to explain the wizarding birds and bees to him. How typical that it was not at all like muggle birds and bees.

He knew he must have gone suddenly pale. He also knew he felt like the room was spinning. Harry laid his head down on his desk and closed his eyes. He prayed Severus was on some sort of birth control. Did they make wizard birth control? The man was a Potions** Master** for God's sake. He had to be on something, right?

A book slammed down beside him, causing an empty glass vial to roll off his desk and crash into pieces on the floor. Harry jumped, lifted his dizzy head and stared into two angry black eyes.

"What are you doing? It is not NAP time! I only see two feet of scroll there, Mr. Potter. I asked for four!"

Harry continued to stare at Severus. "Are you on something?" He blurted out, the rest of the class completely forgotten.

"What?" Severus asked, taken aback that Harry would dare to not be intimidated by him.

A cough from the back of the room brought Harry back to his present location. He glanced at the class, which was watching them with interest. Severus turned abruptly, robes swirled around him.

"Get back to work!" He ordered and every one scuffled, returning to their potions.

Severus turned back to him, leaning over the desk and into his personal space. "I don't know what you are talking about, but it's not the time! Until you have four feet of parchment I don't want to hear another-" He broke off in mid-sentence as his eyes fell upon the book before Harry. Inky black eyes darted over the page. Realization filled those eyes and they looked back at Harry.

For a long moment they both held one another's gaze. "No." Severus said. Answering Harry's previous question.

Harry stared into the empty space left by Severus as the other wizard walked away from him, as if it were nothing at all to be worried about.

He heard Severus returning to the instruction of the class but his own head was still spinning at the news. He couldn't finish the other two feet of scroll on the Decree for Restriction of Underage Wizardry. Somehow it was just not important anymore.

img src"http/visit.webhosting. alt"setstats" border"0" width"1" height"1"> 


	14. Chapter 14

**DISCLAIMER: **Harry Potter and all characters portrayed are not mine. I make no profit from this.

**WARNING: **This is **slash** (Harry/Severus) and **MPREG**. This chapter is PG13.

There are sexual situations in this story between two male wizards. **You have been warned!**

Also, I have set up a website for this story. If you check my profile on my homepage is listed there.

I tried not to use the word "anyways" or to get my "then" and "than" mixed up. And people! You didn't tell me that back in chapter 13 I mixed up Madam Pomfrey's name with Professor Sprout's! Don't I feel like a dumbass!

Severus poured the last of the tea into his cup and watched as Harry wolfed down a third plate of roast chicken and potatoes.

Surprisingly he had not immediately interrogated Severus on what had happened in the recent Potions class. But there had been little time to do so. In fact, this was the first time since the end of the day's classes that they had managed to be alone.

Harry gulped down the rest of his glass of milk and finally looked across the table at Severus. There were shadows under the green eyes, making him looked very tired.

"You didn't finish the assignment." Severus pointed out. Harry showed no signs of concern for further punishment. Just sat back in his chair and stared at Severus.

"You didn't tell me I could get… you didn't tell me about where baby wizards and witches come from."

"I'm sorry. I thought that by your age you would have known that. But let me enlighten you now. When two wizards love one another they-"

Harry rolled his eyes. "I know now! But it would have been nice to know before we… you know." Face flushed, Harry looked down at his empty plate.

Severus sighed. He rubbed at his eyes and wished suddenly for time alone. The truth was he knew exactly what he was doing, when he was doing it. At least that first time. The second time he wasn't expecting because Harry initiated it. So, no he was not on anything that would prevent any resulting pregnancy.

He wondered if that lack of precaution wasn't a subconscious act on his part. But he hadn't had enough time to himself yet to really analyze anything.

"What if I am?" Harry said softly from across the table.

"What? Pregnant?" Severus asked, looking up again. Harry flinched. He didn't like the word. Or perhaps he just didn't like it used in reference to himself. "If you are then I suppose we will deal with it."

Harry blinked at him. "Deal with it? How can you be so flippant about this? What does 'deal with it' mean?"

"It means you will have it and we will handle it the same way every other parent handles it." Severus said evenly.

"I can't believe this." Harry looked frustrated and lost. "Just when I think my life might be starting to get slightly normal!"

"We don't even know if you are. Why are you making such a big deal out of this?"

"What? Hello! I'm quite sure I am! I know! I can feel it!"

Severus felt his heart skip at these words. He looked more closely at Harry. He seemed sincere enough. But how could he be so sure? There were no medical facts yet. However, it was common myth amongst the wizarding community that when one was 'with child' he or she instinctively knew it. Sometimes from the very moment of conception. "And you feel it how?" He asked, wanting Harry to elaborate.

"I just do. I feel… Something is new." He looked a bit frustrated at his inability to explain. "I don't know…" He trailed of, looking miserable and tired and young.

Severus stood up and went to the tall glass cabinet he kept stocked with potions. He found the one labeled 'Sleepy Calm', took it over to the table, poured Harry more milk and let a few drips fall into the glass. He took out his wand, tapped the glass and placed a quick warming spell on the milk.

"Drink it. You'll feel better. Then go to bed. There's no point in worrying over this right now."

The truth was, Severus couldn't deal with this. He hadn't had a chance to process it and he couldn't handle an over emotional Harry just now.

Harry drank down the milk and stood, looking even more exhausted than he had earlier. "Its not fair this stuff always happens to me. And I blame you for this. You're a grown wizard, you should know better." But his heart was apparently not into this diatribe, the calming potion taking effect too quickly.

Severus resisted the urge to smile at him. "You're coming to bed too aren't you?" Harry asked, as he reached the doorway to the bedroom.

"In a bit."

"He's not talking at all?" Harry asked Hermione as they sat in the waiting room of the Hospital wing. Madam Pomfrey was with a young Ravenclaw who had broken her arm in a flying accident.

Hermione had insisted they come here to get information about wizard pregnancy from Madam Pomfrey. Harry was very reluctant. He had only just told Hermione about his suspicions and she was of course instantly excited to have a chance to learn new information about witches and wizards. She had promised Harry that Madam Pomfrey would not break patient confidentiality. And that they didn't even have to tell Madam Pomfrey it was for either of them that they were asking.

Harry had his doubts that Madam Pomfrey would be easily fooled. But he had no other resources, other than the library. And somehow books were not helping his nerves. He wanted some one to comfort him. To tell him it was impossible.

"No, he won't even look at me." Hermione answered. They were discussing Ron and his reaction to the bonding news. "He's very upset."

"Has he talked to any one else?" Harry asked, remembering Severus' concern that Ron would leak the news to the whole school.

"Just Seamus and Neville. But not about the bond." Hermione was chewing on her bottom lip as she thought about it. "I'm sure he will come around Harry. You shouldn't worry over it. You have enough to think about."

This was too true. Even now he felt butterflies in his stomach again and wondered if they were even butterflies at all.

Madam Pomfrey stuck her head into the waiting room and called them back to the main wing. They followed her into a small office and took seats in two plush white chairs. The nurse eyed them both as she stood before them. "And what brings you two here? Mr. Potter, I would have thought you would be with Master Snape right now. He said you could come here?"

"Well, erm…" Harry fumbled.

"I have free class right now. Professor Snape gives Harry free hour at this time so we can study together." Hermione quickly explained. This was true enough, but Severus did not know they were using the time to come here.

Madam Pomfrey pursed her lips and looked unconvinced but did not object further. "And what is it I can do for you?"

Harry and Hermione glanced at one another. They had not rehearsed how to ask the actual questions. "We are interested in finding out about pregnancy." Hermione blurted out. Harry stared at the floor. He could just imagine the look on Madam Pomfrey's face.

There was a prolonged silence and then, "I see…" Madam Pomfrey said. "Well, I am of course curious as to why you would be interested in this particular subject?"

Both Harry and Hermione had no response for this. They stared at one another and Hermione opened her mouth to answer but came up with nothing.

Madam Pomfrey's eyes narrowed at them both. "Perhaps you should be speaking to your head of house about this Ms. Granger? And you to Master Snape, Harry?"

"I did talk to him." Harry replied. "He just gave me a sleeping potion and told me to go to sleep."

Madam Pomfrey snorted and almost rolled her eyes. "Men." She shook her head. "Well… I can only guess as to why you two want this information. And I would like to tell you, Hermione, that if you are having any symptoms of pregnancy then you should immediately be tested. And you Mr. Potter?" She glanced at Hermione and back at him.

"She knows about the bond." Harry supplied. Madam Pomfrey pursed her lips again.

"In that case," She continued, giving Harry a stern look. "If you are the one wanting this information Harry, I must confess I'm surprised. Then again, knowing Severus…" She trailed off.

"And Ms. Granger I have no doubt _you_ know better than this. You are simply not the sort to go into things without precautions."

Both Harry and Hermione stared at Madam Pomfrey. Harry felt guilty and then realized he had no reason to feel guilty. Except that he had dragged Hermione here with him. Now she was under suspicion with him.

"Uh, we just wanted some information." Hermione explained.

Madam Pomfrey relaxed a bit. "Oh. Well that's good then. So you are coming here as a precaution beforehand? That makes more sense." She smiled at Hermione. Harry blushed on Hermione's behalf. Hermione didn't say anything.

"Now, I have some information for you." Madam Pomfrey dug through some file cabinets and returned to Hermione with brochures with titles like, 'The Wizard/Witch Guide to Safe Sex', 'Magically Safe Sex' and 'Am I Having a Little Wizard/Witch?'. She also handed Hermione some small foil wrapped objects that looked suspiciously like condoms to Harry.

Hermione blushed a deep pink, abruptly stood and thanked Madam Pomfrey then attempted to drag Harry from the office.

"I cannot believe I just did that." She mumbled as they left the hospital.

"Hermione, I'm sorry. I didn't think it would turn out like that… I guess we should have known though. I mean we went there together and it was a logical thing to think after all."

"Right. Perfectly logical to assume Snape wouldn't be taking unnecessary risks with you. But that I naturally am looking to have sex in the next week or so and wanted information!"

"Hermione, she's the nurse. She gets this stuff all the time from students. Its not like she will go spreading gossip around the school about you." Harry tried to calm his friend.

Hermione sighed heavily. "I know. It was just uncomfortable. But its over and we have our information right?" She leafed through the brochures.

"Where have you been?" Severus asked as Harry entered Potion's Class later on. He and Hermione had read all the brochures and he had come to the sinking conclusion that he was definitely expecting.

"I was with Hermione. You knew that." Harry grumbled. He flopped down in his chair at his desk. It was between classes and the room was still closed to the next class.

"Yes. I knew that. What I didn't know was that you were planning a little excursion to visit Madam Pomfrey."

Damn! Of course the nurse had told Severus. She would have felt some obligation to do so. She probably also told Professor McGonagall, since she was head of Hermione's house.

Severus was fixing him with the 'stare'. "Well? What happened there?"

"She gave us some information about wizard pregnancy, since you were no help. And by the way, you're going to be a father in about 8 months so perhaps we should think of some names and make a trip to Diagon Alley for a bassinette and some booties."

Severus was silent. So silent that Harry had to look up at him to make sure he was still in the room. "Come here."

"What?"

"You heard me. Come _here_." Severus said in one of his most waspish tones.

Harry new better than to ignore that sort of order from Severus. He moved from his desk and approached the other man, standing before him, just a few feet away.

Severus was looking at him so intensely that Harry had to look away, anyplace but at the other wizard. "How do you feel?"

That was an out of the blue question. Harry blinked in confusion. "Erm… I'm fine. Except I'm hungry again, and I'm pissed that you did this to me, and I'm scared to death of what it means… and I think I hate you for this. But I can't hate you."

Severus' eyes darkened. He reached out a hand and smoothed long fingers through the eternally messy hair on Harry's head then kissed him. It was gentle at first but became deeper more passionate as the seconds ticked by.

Harry was confused by this sudden move. It was not what he was expecting in response to the news. It was quite the opposite in fact. But he wasn't going to complain. Because it made the tiny, terrified part deep inside of him calm and disappear, as if Severus had some secret power to sooth every fear away. Maybe he did. Or maybe it was the bond.

Harry wrapped his arms around the other wizard and let his head fall back as Severus kissed down his throat. He could vaguely hear the sounds of students outside the closed doors. But they wouldn't dare enter the room until Severus opened the door. Still, it was an odd thrill to know they were just that close.

He was unaware of just when he'd been sprawled out on Severus desk but there he was. It was all he could do to keep from wrapping his legs around Severus and begging him to take them back to their rooms. To do what ever he wanted. Just not to stop this.

But Severus was stopping. He was trying to calm Harry with one final slow, deep kiss and then a press of warm lips to his forehead, as if he were a small child.

Dazed and feeling much too warm, Harry allowed himself to be pulled up from his sprawl on the desk and gently pushed in the direction of his own desk. "Just sit down. We have to get through this class." Severus whispered, making sure Harry was settled in the chair and had his books for finishing his paper on the Decree of Underage Wizardry.

_Okay, that was odd. _Harry thought to himself as Severus moved down to the dungeon doors, robes swirling behind him. He was letting in the class of first year Ravenclaws/Hufflepuffs.

Harry stared at the books in front of him but his mind felt like mush. In fact, his entire body felt limp and warm. For the next hour and a half he fought the urge to fall asleep on his desk as he listened to the dulcet tone of Severus' voice lecturing the class.


	15. Chapter 15

_Note from the step authoress: GOOD NEWS! I figured out how to upload files from my home computer. Took a lot of tinkering, but that should mean a little less of a wait. I apologize for not posting yesterday, but here it is today. (Only a few more chapters until the new ones. Counting it down now! Happy Holidays everyone!  
_

* * *

DISCLAIMER: Harry Potter and all characters portrayed are not mine. I make no profit from this.

**WARNING: **This is **slash** (Harry/Severus) and **MPREG**. This chapter is PG13.

There are sexual situations in this story between two male wizards. **You have been warned!**

Also, I have set up a website for this story. If you check my profile on my homepage is listed there.

**(A/N)** I wanted also to point out that the Harry Potter Lexicon website has been very helpful with this entire fic. I have been able to go there and make sure I have names and places correct. And this particular chapter I used a website called to assist with my research (particularly the journals section).

I skipped the timeline ahead about 3 to 4 months, just to get the ball rolling on the pregnancy and because I felt time was dragging previously. This may have officially turned into sappiness, but I hope not too terribly so.

Oh, and I really should have written the details of the sex scene here but I have no patience for it. I'm not good at writing sex, after awhile it's just the same words and phrases.

**Yes I know Harry is acting immature again. And I blame him acting like a girl because he has hormones freaking out in him due to the pregnancy. **

**I really don't know what to do to make him more mature. He's only 16. In every HP book he comes across (to me at least) as being immature and especially in the last book he seems to be totally ruled by hormones and teen anger. I can make him angry and I can make him complain about his situation a lot. But making him more mature? I just don't know what to do. L**

**

* * *

**

Severus sighed heavily. It was nearing the end of the school year and final exams were next week. A faculty meeting had been called by Dumbledore to discuss the schedules for exams and the end of term feast.

It was the dullest meeting he'd had the misfortune of sitting through. It didn't help that he'd been forced to leave a sick Harry back in the dungeons. He was 20 weeks along and exhibiting all the normal symptoms. Extreme exhaustion, constant hunger, and now queasiness. The only persons who knew were himself, Harry, Hermione, and to Severus' sneaking suspicion, Dumbledore. Though they had not said a word to the man.

Luckily Severus knew enough about medical magic that he could pretty well deal with the health issues of the whole pregnancy thing. Both Harry and himself had agreed they wanted as few people as possible in on this news. The child was due during the summer school break, which was a blessing in Severus' opinion. Plus, Harry was only just starting to show, so no one noticed or suspected a thing.

The one thing they had not agreed upon was telling Sirius. Severus was of course against it. Harry was very much for it. And he made his opinion quite vocal every single day. To the point that he'd worn down the potions Master's resolve and Severus agreed to let him break the news to the man. He also agreed to let Harry do it in Dumbledore's presence because in Harry's words, "I don't trust my Godfather not to kill you when he finds out." Besides, Dumbledore knew already so they may as well get it all out there at once.

"Do you agree Severus?" He blinked and glanced across the room to the Headmaster who was, as always, twinkling over his damned teacup at him.

"Yeah, whatever." Severus answered, with no idea at all to what he'd just agreed. Dumbledore beamed at him and Severus had a bad feeling he'd given the wrong answer but refused to go back on it.

"Fine. That is all then." Dumbledore dismissed them. Severus was lucky enough to get out of the office before he was asked to stay for some inane reason.

Back in his rooms Harry was still curled on the couch, before the fireplace, a quilt draped over him. He was sound asleep and Severus took the opportunity to watch him. He found it calmed the tension that always built up whenever he was away from the younger wizard. It was the damned bond.

The bond had triggered something in Severus since the very instant Harry had angrily tossed out the fact that he was pregnant. If he was overprotective and domineering before the news he was all out aggressive in his need to safeguard Harry. To the point that the other professors at the school had forced an "intervention" upon Severus, fearing he was smothering Harry with too strict of a teaching structure. Dumbledore found the whole thing very amusing and did finally point out to the other professors that it was Severus' prerogative to teach Harry as he saw fit, because he was the boy's Master after all.

From then on the other instructors gave him leeway to be overprotective of Harry's time outside studies. But they still gave him the occasional glare or look of disapproval.

Harry opened his eyes and instantly fixed them on Severus. "Meeting over?" He asked, voice groggy with deep sleep.

Severus gave half a nod. He reached into his robes and came out with a mint green lollipop. It was a new routine with them. Severus used to force Harry to drink down a potion of ginger root, mint and various other anti-nausea ingredients. But the taste apparently didn't agree with Harry because after choking it all down he inevitably threw it all back up. It was the oddest reaction Severus had ever seen to an anti-nausea potion. For weeks he studied up on different variations of it but every one of them had the same effect on Harry.

At last he'd discovered that Honeydukes had a supply of candies, which contained the ingredients he'd been using in the potions. Apparently the sugar made them much more tolerable to Harry's digestion. For awhile they stuck to peppermint frogs but then one day Harry became terribly emotional over the little candies. He opened every single package and let them all hop around the dungeon rooms until they melted into blobs on the floors. Severus had returned from the Slytherin common rooms to find a broken down Harry sobbing over one of the little blobs.

Clearly hormones had become an issue in this pregnancy thing. His first urge was to yell at the boy for wasting all those frogs. But then the bond made him just want to wrap up Harry in his robes and promise him the candy frogs were in a better place now. He compromised and simply held the younger wizard for a few moments, chastised him for thinking candy had life inside of it and then taught him a quick floor cleaning spell.

Now they stuck with lollipops. Sugar and Spice Ginger, Sweet Lavender and Minty Spearmint.

"Can I go with Hermione to the greenhouses today? She has a final project she is working on and Professor Sprout said she wanted to show me some new seedlings she got in."

Severus frowned at Harry. "You know I don't like you being away from me for long. It was bad enough I had to be in that meeting. It gives me a headache."

"I know. But isn't this getting a bit ridiculous? We are with one another constantly. I'm feeling all smothered. I have friends you know." He sucked absently on the mint lolli and stared at Severus.

Was he pouting? Severus narrowed his eyes at him. "Fine. But understand that if you are not back within one hour I'm coming to collect you."

Harry removed the lollipop from his moth and beamed at him. Then placed a warm kiss to Severus' lips. Which as usual turned into something deeper for several long minutes, until he pushed Harry away. "You're right. It's getting ridiculous." He forced himself to remove his hands from Harry's form and stand. Harry blinked up at him.

"How many times a day are we dragging each other into the bedroom? I count at least four. For the past three months."

"So? I like it." Harry murmured, picking at a stray thread of the quilt. "Its comforting."

"Exactly." And it's the bond making us addicted to one another.

"There's nothing we can do about it." Harry looked at him again. "Probably it will die down after Blobby gets here."

Blobby, it was a pet name Harry used to refer to the little one growing inside. Ever since Harry had looked at books from the library on the growth of a fetus.

"That's sweet that you are still so naïve about this, Harry. All the time you have spent with Hermione studying this pregnancy, I would have thought you could put some study into the bonding of wizards as well."

Harry scowled at him. He began to chew on the mint lolli, making crunchy noises. He always became impatient with just sucking on the thing until it was gone.

"And that means?" He queried.

"It means we are lucky we are ravishing one another only four times a day, because as I understand it the need increases as the bond grows over time."

"Oh." Harry swallowed the last of the mint lolli. "That will be… interesting." Dark brows knitted in thought. "How do bonded wizards ever get anything done than?"

"I'm sure I don't know." Severus sighed. He took a seat in a nearby chair and stared at Harry. His hair, as usual, was messy. His eyes bright and not so tired looking just now, lips blushed with the recent kissing.

"Well…" Harry murmured, chewing on his bottom lip a bit. "it's not like we can just stop. We'll get sick or something. I need you."

"Yes. Rather like being addicted to some narcotic or other, isn't it?" Severus murmured as he continued to gaze at Harry.

Harry gave a small giddy laugh as Severus fell against him. Both of them overheated and satiated.

"What is so amusing?" Severus groused.

"I like it when you do that." Harry said, still breathless from their exertions.

"Do what?"

"Give into me."

Severus pressed up on one arm and stared down at him. Harry still became uncomfortable when he looked too long into his eyes, but he sometimes allowed it. Usually when they were together and intimate such as now. He let his guards down and didn't look away immediately.

At that moment Harry felt the small creature inside his lower belly flop. Severus' eyes narrowed, he slid a hand down to rest against the small bulge of Harry's belly, between them.

"She wakes me up at night now." He whispered as Severus attempted to get the little one to move again by rubbing soothing circles over Harry's abdomen. "I lay awake and she flops all over, like she's having a party in there or something."

"It's a boy." Severus announced with absolute certainty.

"I want a girl." Harry replied, as if the wanting would make it so.

"Snapes only have boys." Severus said. "There hasn't been a girl in the Snape family for 5 centuries."

Harry scowled up at him. "I wanted a girl." He looked terribly disappointed. "Can't you give me a potion to drink and make it a girl?"

Severus couldn't suppress a short laugh at that. "I'm not omnipotent in the Potions arena, Harry. How flattering you think so however."

"Blobby" performed another flip and Severus felt the small ripple against his palm. He slid down Harry's body and laid his ear against the spot where movement had been.

"You're odd. If it must be a boy I hope he isn't odd like you." Harry mumbled, turning his head on the pillow and watching the flames dance in the fireplace. Though secretly he hoped the child did have Severus' intelligence and the eyes too. He found he quite loved the inky blackness of those eyes.

Some place in the back of his mind Harry realized he'd stopped fighting against these random thoughts of affection towards Severus. He used to think he must be going crazy to have such thoughts, bond or not. But now he just let them come. There was no point struggling against them. Just like there was no point in fighting the urge to have sex with the man every 4 to 5 hours.

A boy. He really had been thinking of it as a girl. When he thought of it at all. It had taken this long to come to terms with it all. Sometimes he still didn't believe it was possible. Until "Blobby" started moving around, then it was impossible to deny anymore.

Now he found himself feeling alternately terrified and excited beyond words. He wanted very badly to tell Sirius about it. To tell him that he was going to have this new child and it would be a new line in the Potter family and how it made him feel not alone in the world any more. He wanted Sirius to be happy about it, but knew he would just be furious with Severus. But maybe he would come around.

Like Ron, who became a little friendlier towards Harry as the weeks passed. He still wouldn't have in depth discussions with him, particularly on the subject of the bond, but he did talk to him now. But that was not going to last when he discovered the pregnancy and how Harry had kept that from him as well.

It was a terrible issue that Harry hated to even contemplate. Ron had not disclosed the information about the bond to anyone that they were aware of. So perhaps he could be trusted with this news too. Certainly the sooner they told him the easier it would be.

Down below, "Blobby" continued to ripple around and Severus lay perfectly still, until Harry realized he'd fallen asleep on him.


	16. Chapter 16

_Step-author's note: Just a few more chapters until mine start showing up OO Please don't let it be a disaster. Anyway, I once again ended up using my own computer on this (hooray for small miracles) and it worked... I think. Please enjoy._

* * *

DISCLAIMER: Harry Potter and all characters portrayed are not mine. I make no profit from this.

**WARNING: **This is **slash** (Harry/Severus) and **MPREG**. This chapter is PG13. Some four letter words in this chapter! ACK: )

There are **sexual situations** in this story between two male wizards. **You have been warned!**

Also, I have set up a website for this story. If you check my profile on my homepage is listed there.

(A/N) After much soul searching and worrying over Harry's characterization in these last few chapters I decided that it was time for him to rebel in some small way at least. So here it is. Also, the much anticipated Sirius finds out about the pregnancy.

* * *

Harry rolled over onto his side and tried once more to get comfortable. Comfort seemed to be a thing of distant memories. And he still had 3 months to go before the baby arrived.

There was the usual flopping around in his abdomen. Normally he enjoyed these nightly flopping sessions with just him and the baby awake. For some reason tonight it was irritating him. He turned his head on the pillow to see Severus.

He wasn't there. Harry scowled in the darkness. He glanced to the door but there was no sound of potions bottles rattling or essay scrolls being scribbled on. He sat up abruptly and listened hard for some sound of Severus being in their rooms.

"Severus?" He called, hoping the worry wasn't too obvious in his voice. There was no answer.

He climbed out of bed and padded out into the main room. No Severus. Nowhere at all, in the rooms. And Harry knew he wouldn't be in the Slytherin rooms either because school had let out 3 weeks ago. He could just suddenly feel that the man was not anywhere near the Hogwarts' grounds right now.

_Damn him! _Harry thought. For months now Severus had very rarely been called to any death eater meetings. But when he was called he at least had the kindness to actually leave a note for Harry, or something to let him know. This time, he took off with no notice at all.

Harry felt dread fill him. He also felt a certain amount of terror. Here he was, bonded to this other wizard, knocked up with a baby, and left alone in a dungeon with no idea when or even if the man would return.

And what terrified him most was that he felt if Severus did not return then he, Harry, would not be able to continue. It was a dependence that Harry had never experienced before in his entire life.

It was a dependence he had done his very best to not think on since back in December when the bond had started.

But now he stood here alone, pregnant, in one of Severus' nightshirts, bare feet cold on the stone floors of the dungeon rooms, and he hated his enslavement to this bond, to Severus.

He turned in a circle and caught sight of one of Severus' cloaks. Without thinking, he grabbed it, wrapped it around his body, stepped into the empty hearth and took a fistful of floo powder.

"Number 12 Grimmauld Place!" He announced and dropped the powder.

Instantly he was pulled through the network of floos. He landed with a hard drop into the fireplace of one of the parlor rooms in Sirius Black's family home.

The room was dark as he stepped out of the fireplace, dusting ash from his hair and robe. "Sirius?" He called, praying his Godfather was there. The last thing he needed was to end up all alone in this place, so far from Hogwarts.

A few tense seconds passed then he heard footsteps outside the parlor and turned to see a figure step through the open doorway. "Harry?"

It was Lupin. He was looking tired and a bit frazzled but otherwise himself. "What are you doing here?"

Harry moved to the other man and pressed close to him, thankful for another wizard, even if it wasn't his Godfather.

"I was alone in the dungeons. Severus… I think he was called to a meeting and he left and… I woke up and was alone." Suddenly he felt quite stupid for coming here. He felt like a stupid child who wakes up his parents for attention after having a bad dream. He wasn't a child anymore. He was in fact carrying a child, so now he should be able to handle himself on his own, right?

He pulled from Remus' hug and huddled into the oversized cloak, which smelled very much of Severus, a vague comfort of sorts. Some blind subconscious reflex had made him grab one of Severus' cloaks instead of his own.

"He's been called to meetings before. Why would this make you come here now?" Remus asked, his eyes traveling over Harry's form. But he wouldn't be able to see any difference. Harry knew he was only obviously rounder in the abdomen if he didn't wear a cloak or robe. He huddled further into Serverus' cloak.

"I just… I was alone and I… it was stupid of me. Sorry, I'll go back." He turned to step back into the hearth but Remus took hold of his arm and pulled him back.

"You can't leave. Sirius will be very upset if you don't see him first. Come on. Come with me. He's in the kitchen." Harry allowed himself to be pulled along with Remus. Secretly thankful he didn't have to return to the dungeons alone again. But still feeling rather stupid for coming here at all.

"Harry!" Sirius beamed at him as he entered the kitchen behind Lupin. "I was wondering if you even remembered who I was." He stood from the table and wrapped Harry in a tight, comforting hug. Harry felt the baby kick hard, but there was so much of Severus' cloak between him and Sirius that he felt certain the other man had not felt it.

"Why are you here at this time of night?" He led Harry over to a seat at the table and Remus placed a hot cup of tea before him. Harry wrapped his hands around it and breathed in the steam. "Is Snape giving you a hard time? I'll hex him into a pulp if he hurts you, Harry. I swear I will."

"No. He's not…" Harry didn't know what to say now. He was here and he wasn't alone but he was still terrified. Worried over Severus being gone and not telling him. Worried over being dependent on Severus. Worried about being pregnant.

"I'm scared." He announced. May as well just tell the truth, he thought.

"Scared? Why?" Sirius reached across the table and placed a hand on Harry's arm. Lupin took a seat at the table with them.

"What happened?" Lupin asked. Harry stared into his tea and chewed his lower lip.

"Did he hurt you?" Sirius asked, again. Like he wanted any excuse to beat up Severus.

"No." Harry immediately answered. "Not like you think."

"But he hurt you, some how?" Sirius asked, eyes fixed on Harry.

"He didn't hurt me, Sirius. He's never hurt me… not really."

"Then what is wrong, Harry? You can tell us. I'm your Godfather." Sirius squeezed his arm lightly, reassuring.

Harry looked up from his tea at them both. Remus was simply waiting, patiently. Sirius was leaning close, concern stamped on his features.

"I'm… ummm… I don't want you to flip out or anything, Sirius."

Dark brows drew down over his eyes but Sirius didn't say anything. Just nodded a bit. "I wouldn't get angry at you Harry. Never."

Oh, he hoped that was true. Because he did not want to deal with an angry Sirius right now. He wanted to be with his Godfather and with Remus and he wanted family of some sort. Something he could fall back on besides just Severus. Again the baby kicked at him and he reflexively placed his free hand against his belly.

Remus caught the move and blinked at him. He knew. He was quick like that and Harry stared at him, waiting for the reaction. Long, tense seconds passed.

Finally, "How long?" He quietly asked.

Harry, eyes firmly fixed on the werewolf's said nothing for a long moment. Until Sirius became restless and said, "How long what?" He was looking perplexed at Remus.

"About 24 weeks." Harry whispered.

There appeared to be some shock on Remus part. Sirius was still confused though. "Twenty four weeks of what?" He asked, looking from one to the other of them.

"Do you want me to tell him? Is that why you came here?" Remus asked, as if Sirius was not in the room with them.

"I don't know why I came here. I wanted to tell you soon, but I didn't come here specifically to do this now."

"Will one of you tell me?" Sirius snarled.

Harry took a deep breath and stared back into his teacup. "I'm pregnant." He said quickly, so that it came out as one word.

Remus was watching Sirius. Sirius was staring, open mouthed, at Harry. Harry kept his eyes on his tea.

"Twenty four weeks?" Sirius finally said.

Harry glanced up and nodded at him.

"I'm going to kill him." Sirius said, very calm, very matter of fact. "I'll torture him first and then I will kill him. If you want to help me Remus please feel free. But I want to get the first strike in."

"You are not going to kill him." Remus said. "He's bonded to Harry. You can't just kill him."

"I don't believe this." Sirius said. The shock must not have worn off, because he was not screaming and freaking out like Harry imagined he would.

"No wonder you came here frightened." Sirius looked back to him. "Is this the first time you could get away from him? I bet he's been keeping you under a tight watch."

"No, he isn't like that. I didn't come here to get away. I came here because he left me alone. He went to a death eater meeting and I woke up alone and I just… I realized what was happening to me. I'm afraid he'll never come back from this meeting. Every time he goes I'm afraid! And he keeps going! And I hate it! I hate needing him! I hate being afraid because of him! I hate him! But I _love_ him! And I have this… this… baby now! It's not just me anymore. I don't even know what to do with a baby! I'm barely 17 years old!"

He was yelling now and getting hysterical. He knew it because Sirius and Remus were reaching for him, holding his hands across the table and trying to calm him. Remus was telling him to drink his tea. Sirius was suddenly sitting next to him, rubbing soothing circles on his back. The baby was kicking quite hard, upset by his emotions.

He rubbed his belly, trying to calm Blobbie down.

"You'll be okay. I'll be here. And Remus too." Sirius was saying. "You can stay here if you want. Severus will find you, I'm sure. When he does I'll _talk_ to him."

"No!" Harry looked up at his Godfather. "You can't kill him. Don't hurt him!"

Sirius sighed. "Fine. I wont hurt him. But Harry, he's clearly gotten you all worked up and terrified. He got you _pregnant_ for Merlin's sake! He's insane to have done this!"

"I'm confused." Harry covered his face with his hands and rocked a bit, still trying to get the baby to calm back down. "I shouldn't have come here. Now you think he's some evil man who forced this on me."

"Didn't he?" Sirius asked.

"No. Dumbledore did!" Harry yelled back. "Severus is a pawn just like me."

"Severus Snape is a grown wizard, perfectly capable of taking responsibility for his own actions! He has been working with Voldemort since we were younger than you Harry!"

"Sirius!" Lupin yelled. Harry had never heard Lupin actually sound angry or raise his voice like that. Sirius immediately stopped his tirade, clenching his teeth on what would have been his next words.

"Can you see you are not making him feel any better?" Lupin said. Sirius gave a heavy sigh, smoothed a hand over his hair and looked again at Harry.

No one spoke for a while and Harry took several deep breaths, trying to calm himself and stop the baby's frantic kicking. He rubbed his hand over his belly again and it stopped for a few moments. "He knows something is wrong." Harry explained softly to Sirius and Remus who were both watching him. "Usually Severus talks to him and he goes back to sleep." He murmured.

"It's a boy?" Remus asked.

"Severus says Snapes don't have girls." Harry answered with half a smile.

"Well that's one thing he's told you truthfully." Sirius snorted. "No girls in that family for centuries."

"I wanted a girl." Harry confided. "I don't want some boy who will turn out to be just like me."

"What's wrong with being like you?" Remus asked. Harry shrugged. That was a question that required too much introspection. He was worn down and did not want to go there right now.

"I can't sleep when he leaves like this. Can I stay with you?" Harry asked, quietly.

"Of course." Sirius answered. "You can rest in the main sitting room with us. We'll stay up with you." Apparently he wasn't going to argue the pregnancy issue any more tonight and Harry was thankful at least for that.

* * *

Severus stood outside the door to the dungeon rooms he kept and breathed deeply, trying to wipe his mind clear of what he'd just been forced to witness and participate in. It had been one of the Dark Lord's more gruesome death eater meetings. In which he had brought a muggle for some "fun torture" time. He closed his eyes and forced the images and screams back into the corner of his mind where he kept that stuff.

Opening the door and entering the rooms Severus immediately sensed that something was wrong. Something was missing. He looked around, wary of every shadow. He walked to the bedroom and opened the door. The bed was empty. A lead block dropped into his stomach. Where was he? Had he been so stupid to leave Harry alone and not tell Albus?

Maybe the meeting tonight was a trick to get him away from Harry so the Dark Lord could get his hands on the boy. Harry would be easily taken in his current condition. Though to Severus' knowledge the Dark Lord did not know of Harry's pregnancy.

No, that couldn't be it. He was jumping to wild conclusions with no evidence. There were no signs of struggle. But the younger wizard was most definitely gone.

It took him several minutes of pacing anxiously and cursing the damned boy, under his breath, before he realized just exactly where Harry would go off to.

Turning with a swirl of dark robes, Severus left the rooms and Hogwarts' grounds.

* * *

Harry sat in a large, stuffed chair, a light blanket over him and tea and biscuits on the small table beside the chair. Remus was on the couch nearby and Sirius was leaning against the mantle, staring into the empty hearth.

None of them had spoken a word to one another in the past hour. It was almost light outside and Harry was more anxious than he'd been before he came here. He considered returning to the dungeons, but the fact was Severus was the very cause of his anxiety and stress. He wanted to see that the man was okay and still alive. But he also wanted to scream and yell and demand answers for why he'd left with no note.

Not to mention, he was still trying to work out in his mind every other emotional issue he was having. The forced bond, the apprenticeship, his friends, his Godfather and the baby. He was beginning to realize that worrying had no conclusion to it. It was a loop that never ended.

"Do you want to talk about something?" Remus asked gently.

"Umm… no. I mean… I have too many things in my head and I wouldn't know which one to start with first." Harry tried to explain. Remus smiled.

"I can only imagine." He replied. "How are Ron and Hermione?"

"They are good. I guess. I saw them off on the Hogwarts' Express on the last day. Hermione and I owl each other a lot. Ron… I think he's busy with some summer Junior Wizards' program he enrolled in."

Remus nodded. "You know, you can always owl me or Sirius any time you want to talk."

Harry nodded and gave him a grateful smile.

Loud, angry banging on the front doors, broke the quiet of the house. The portrait of Sirius' mother woke up and started screaming obscenities. Sirius flew from the room, ready for action. Harry jumped up from his chair, the blanket falling to the floor. Remus stood with him and put a hand on his shoulder. "Let them duke it out Harry. Just for a few minutes. They wont kill one another, I promise. But I think we need to let them deal with this thing between them in their own way… if that makes sense."

Oddly, it did make sense. But Harry's heart wrenched at the thought of Severus being harmed in any way at all. He heard both men cursing one another over the screams of the portrait. He heard Severus hissing Latin hexes at Sirius and Sirius throwing out counter curses.

When they heard the heavy thud of some one being smashed into a wall and the shattering of glass they both ran from the sitting room and down to the open entrance hall. Remus made to throw closed the curtain over the picture of Sirius' mother, so she would shut up.

Harry tried to put himself between his Godfather and Severus.

Severus, who just happened to be spitting mad. So mad in fact that Harry worried for his own safety. "Severus, I'm fine. Stop! STOP!" The Potions Master had a strangle hold on Sirius who was still hissing hexes which made several vases and various other small objects fly through the air towards Severus head.

"_Impedimenta_!" Remus yelled, wand held out towards the flying objects. They all froze in midair.

"Let him go!" Harry begged of Severus. He took out his own wand, trying to think of the curse that would force Severus to let go of the death grip he had on Sirius.

He didn't need it though. Severus suddenly shoved Sirius away from him. The other wizard slammed into a nearby table, but righted himself before he fell. Both men were breathing heavily glaring at one another. The portrait had finally shut up.

"Nice welcome, dog boy." Severus hissed.

"Fuck you! Get out of my house!" Sirius snarled back.

"Happy to. Just came to gather my mate." Severus returned. And now he looked to Harry at last.

"You're not taking him." Sirius announced. "He came here because he was afraid and you left him alone! What the Hell kind of a bond mate are you, Snivelus? I shudder to think what kind of father you're going to be. By the way, great job, knocking up a 16 year old boy!"

Severus' eyes darkened. He returned his glare to Sirius. "I don't recall inviting your opinions into my relationship, Sirius."

"Stop it!" Harry screamed. The baby began kicking madly again and he wrapped an arm around his midsection. Severus noticed and stepped towards him.

"Fine. Lets just go back now. He'll stop all the kicking if we go back now. He knows something is upsetting us." Severus spoke softly.

Harry, on the verge of tears, glared at Severus. "You didn't leave a note! I woke up and you were gone. I was afraid. And I hate you. I'm stuck with this dependence on you. I'm enslaved. I hate it!"

No one spoke. Harry rubbed circles over the small swell of his belly and did everything in his power not to break down here in the middle of this entire situation.

"Harry." Severus spoke, even softer than before. He was close now, blocking Remus and Sirius from Harry's view. "I can't do anything about the dependence. It's a two-way road. You think I enjoy being just as dependent upon you? I've never _needed_ anyone either."

Oh damn, Harry felt a warm trickle of something suspiciously like a tear trailing down his check. Angrily he wiped at it. "I don't know what to think any more." He said, thankful that his voice didn't break.

"Then think about this: I would not hurt you for the world. I'm never leaving you. I forgot to leave a note tonight because the call was so urgent. I will not forget in the future." Harry listened to the calming voice, he felt the kicking in his belly slowly turn into gentle flops. "Harry, the fact that I am speaking this intimately to you in front of your _Godfather_ should be some indication of my feelings for you."

Oh, that was it. He tossed himself at Severus and clung to him with all the strength he had. "I'm sorry. I just freaked. I don't know what is happening!"

"Love." Severus whispered against his ear, so softly that Harry was not entirely certain he had heard correctly.

"I want to go home now." Harry said.


	17. Chapter 17

_**Step author's note: **there's only a bit more chapters the new ones. I'm a little freaked out about it, but everything should turn out alright... I think. Anyway, everything below this was written by the original author. As I told you all before, the chapters were written by CottonTail and I didn't want to remove any sort of author's note she may have put in. Keep it authentic, you know?_

**

* * *

DISCLAIMER: **Harry Potter and all characters portrayed are not mine. I make no profit from this.

**WARNING: **This is **slash** (Harry/Severus) and **MPREG**. This chapter is PG13.

There are **sexual situations** in this story between two male wizards. **You have been warned!**

A/N: Sorry, sorry, sorry for such a huge amount of time between updates. But I was so BLANK about what to write next. Than I got all enthralled with an rpg, so that's where I've been for the last few months. I'm still blank about what comes after this. Now I just want this thing to end and don't know how to do it. :(

* * *

Some place, beyond the darkness of his closed eyes, Harry could hear small whimpering sounds. Then Severus' soft voice and the whimpering stopped.

Minutes passed and Harry kept his eyes closed, reluctant to open them and face memories of what he'd just gone through. He vowed, for what must have been a hundredth time, he would NEVER do this again.

"I know you're awake." Severus said, voice low with no hint of irritation at all. Unusual for him. Harry knitted his brows and reluctantly opened his eyes.

Blurry light spilled across his vision and then shapes of the room came into focus. He turned his head on the pillow and Severus stood over him with something in his arms, one dark brow arched in amusement as he watched Harry.

"You got lucky and passed out." Severus said, as if this were a let down for him. Like Harry had cheated and gotten away with something.

Harry blinked. Memory hit him very suddenly. He'd been in this bed for the last day, maybe more, struggling with the pain of labor. Finally Severus had broken down and called in a very shocked Madam Pomfrey. School had only been in session again for less than a month. Harry had done a remarkably good job of hiding the pregnancy. Especially since Severus had been keeping him down in the dungeons for the last two months. Much to Harry's mounting irritation. But the truth was, he doubted he could waddle up all the stairs to get out of the dungeons anyhow.

The bundle Severus was holding moved. "What?" It was the only word Harry could get out through the fog of exhaustion. He really wanted nothing more than to fall back into sleep and forget the past two days. But his eyes wouldn't leave the soft blanket cradled in the other wizard's arms.

"You'll be fine." Severus said.

"Is it her?" Harry finally managed to croak, eyes still fixed on the swaddled bundle. A bit of terror filled him and he considered burying himself under the covers and begging Severus to take her away. Give her to some one more prepared and less screwed up.  
"No, not her. _Him_." Severus said this with every ounce of smugness he could squeeze into the one word.

Harry expected his heart to drop in disappointment. Instead it continued to beat normally. He did however want to do something to wipe that proud look off Severus' face but was too tired to come up with anything right now.

Was that a smile? Harry narrowed his eyes at the other wizard. "Why are you smiling? It's so funny that I was wrong?" Harry croaked.

"Not at all… a girl would have been sweet, I'll admit it." The smile disappeared as Severus sat on the edge of the bed next to Harry and showed him what was wrapped in the silken yellow blanket. "But this is perfect."

Harry blinked and then focused on the little head snuggled in the folds of yellow blanket. A small shock of dark sable hair lay flat on the perfectly round head. He very obviously had Severus' finely drawn brows. It looked like some one had placed them on with a black fine-tip marker. His eyes were closed, but soft, curling black lashes rested against pale cheeks with lips like a little red rosebud. Harry couldn't take his eyes off of him.

"He's perfect." He whispered.

"Yes. I believe that is what I said." Severus agreed as he settled the sleeping bundle next to Harry on the bed.

Harry turned his head to look at him some more. "He's perfect." He said again.

Severus made a small sound of amusement. "Go back to sleep, Harry."

* * *

Severus was thankful, for once in his life, that he rarely slept more than 4 hours a night.

It seemed to him that Sage was much the same. Harry on the other hand slept soundly, most all night.

He shook the mixture he'd poured into the bottle and placed a quick warming charm on it then gave it to Sage who immediately latched on to the nipple and suckled as if his life depended upon it. Like he hadn't just had a whole bottle two hours before. Huge, round baby blue eyes fixed on Severus as he lay in his arms.

"You interrupted a very important brewing." Severus explained to the infant. "I don't suppose you could perhaps be more patient next time? I'll have to start all over now."

The little creature continued to gulp down the milk and stare up at him, completely oblivious and uncaring as to what he had or had not interrupted.

"Just like your father." Severus groused.

Next week Harry was returning to classes full-time. He'd stayed here in the dungeons for only these first 5 weeks of the baby's life. But the boy was understandably restless and insistent upon returning to reality. Such as it was. Besides that, it was getting difficult to keep his imbecile friends at bay. Severus had told them that Harry had been depressed and did not want to leave the dungeons or see any one. They bought that for a few weeks, then began to insist upon seeing him and sending him bothersome "get well" owls.

Finally it had all been too much to avoid any longer. He agreed to let them visit tomorrow and Harry was overjoyed for the first time in many months.

Sage's eyelids were slowly drooping as the bottle steadily emptied. One tiny fist fixed tightly around Severus' small finger.

Perhaps it wasn't unusual for Harry to be so distant with the child. He was after all still so young himself. But Severus was NOT the parental sort and he had wrongly assumed that Harry would be. He told himself it was the hormones. Post birth depression or whatever the hell they called it these days. But Sage was going on six weeks now and still Harry showed no serious interest in the child, other than the first few minutes upon waking, after the birth.

He refused to get up in the middle of the night when the infant would wake crying. He only held the child for feedings or changed him if Severus was not there to do it. And this he did with an air of disinterest. He didn't speak to Sage or coo at him or anything a new parent did with a baby. He did however spend quite a lot of time each day staring at Sage. Severus was dying to know what Harry was thinking when he did this. But he didn't prod too deep for answers. If it went on for much longer, he would.

Oddly, Sage didn't seem concerned who fed or changed him. As long as it happened he was content. Severus prayed is disposition remained so easy as he grew.

Albus had commented that it was perhaps Severus himself who calmed the infant. Then he got that damned twinkle in his eye and started babbling to the little creature as he lay in his bassinet.

* * *

Why they had to have the visit here in their rooms was beyond Harry's understanding. He wanted to do it some place where Sage was not. He did not want to talk about any of it with Ron or Hermione. He wanted to talk about Quiddich and the new DADA professor. He wanted to talk about what they would do after graduation. Anything but what had been happening to him for the past year.

But it was inevitable, as he quickly found out, that Hermione would insist upon discussing the subject at least somewhat. Particularly with evidence, in the form of a swaddled infant, lying in her arms. She smiled down at the little bundle as Ron looked on with a baffled look.

Severus was in the rooms across the hall, grading papers from a recent test.

"He's so sweet. He looks like Professor Snape."

"Did you just use the words 'Snape' and 'sweet' in the same sentence?" Ron asked. He was visibly confused and shocked to find a baby in the rooms. Apparently Hermione had not filled him in on this new aspect of Harry's life.

"No, Ron. That was two sentences." Hermione replied, eyes still fixed on the baby. "Sage is an interesting name." She said, finally looking up at Harry.

"Severus picked it." Harry mumbled. "I was asleep."

"What?" Ron asked. "Harry what are you on about? Where did this kid come from?"

Hermione fixed her look on Harry. "You want me to tell him don't you?"

But before Harry could beg her to please do so, Ron interjected. "Oh no. Last time this happened you told me about that whole bonding, sleeping with Snape thing." Ron shivered at the mere mention of it. "Please do not tell me this is your baby, Harry."

Neither Harry nor Hermione answered. Harry just couldn't bring himself to care any more what Ron thought of this entire situation. In fact, he could not bring himself to care about much of anything at all lately. Except, as a sick twist of circumstance, Severus. He still had the overwhelming need for Severus looming over him every minute of every day. It was about the only thing that kept him from drinking an overdose of sleeping potion or something equally fatal.

There was a heavy sigh from Ron, and then a whispered, "Bloody hell."

"Ron, don't judge him." Hermione ordered.

"I… but…" Ron sputtered. He looked at the bundle in Hermione's arms then back at Harry. "Harry, you look like hell, mate."

"I feel like hell." Harry answered, grateful that Ron was bottling up any outbursts for another time. Though he still looked shocked.

Sage began to fuss, gurgling and whining. Harry made no move to collect him from Hermione's arms. She hushed and cooed at him to no avail as the whining turned to full cries.

"Harry, maybe you should take him back." She said, looking plaintively to him.

"Uh… no. I don't think that would be good." He swallowed, folding his arms across his chest.

Luckily Severus entered the room, robes swirling as always. He scooped the howling infant from Hermione, spoke a few words in his usual deep, calm voice and Sage calmed immediately.

Ron and Hermione stared up at Severus, mouths open.

"He's hungry." Severus commented as he left the room, presumably to prepare a bottle.

Hermione turned and narrowed her eyes at Harry. Ron remained open mouthed, staring at the empty spot Severus had been in.

"Harry, what is wrong? Don't you know how to feed him? He's your son!"

"I didn't ask for him!" Harry snarled back. "Severus can deal with him! It's his fault I got pregnant in the first place!"

Ron slapped his hands over his ears. "Whoa! Too much information!"

Hermione rolled her eyes at him, then looked back to Harry.

"So you are just going to abandon him? Never acknowledge him at all? Harry, his eyes will probably be green you know. He's not ALL Snape's child, no matter how it came about."

Harry stared at her. "Green?"

"Look, if they were going to be black like Snape's he would have been born with light brownish gray eyes, not blue. It's basic genetics."

Harry tried to imagine Sage with green eyes. Until now he had been nothing but a little Severus clone to Harry. He sometimes found himself staring at the child for endless periods of time, trying to find some hint of himself there. He remembered how he had wanted the baby to have Severus' midnight eyes. But he had also wanted a girl and didn't get that.

"What will you do with him when you return to classes with Professor Snape?" Hermione inquired gently.

Harry shrugged, picking at a bit of yarn coming loose from one of Sage's blankets, which was tossed over the arm of his chair. "I don't know. I think Severus plans to take him along. He's obsessed with that baby. I think he may have forgotten about me."

"Oh please! Harry! He has NOT forgotten about you. You're bonded, it's impossible. He's probably just picking up the slack with taking care of the baby. I mean, you don't seem… er… well, you are probably just still worn out from the pregnancy and birth and all." Hermione trailed off.

Harry sighed. Why was he suddenly feeling guilty? "I take care of him when Severus is at Potion's class, during the day." He attempted to defend himself. Though he didn't mention that he put a sleeping charm on little Sage, so the baby tended to sleep most of the day and not bother him much at all. Now the guilt was really setting in, because he knew the baby stayed awake most of the night and kept Severus up as well.

"Harry, you're just adjusting." Hermione said gently.

A long silence followed as Harry tried to ignore the guilt.

"Did you hear about the new DADA professor?" Ron broke in, clearly seeking safer, less disturbing territory.

(A/N: I know the majority of you all wanted it to be a girl. I think there was only one person who said she hoped it was a boy. I always knew it would be a boy though. I couldn't see it as a girl at all… it just felt too Mary Sue to make it a girl.)


	18. Chapter 18

_Step author's note: this is the shortest chapter, promise. Still isn't my chapter though._

* * *

Fatherhood was not as bad as he had anticipated. Sage was a relatively quiet and calm baby. He was not fussy by any means and only ever cried if it was a serious matter… such as waking up from a nap and no one noticing for a period longer than 5 minutes.

Harry watched as the 6 month old sat contentedly on the floor amongst a pile of blankets and pillows. He had this new fascination with his feet and was reaching for them now, drool sliding down his chin. His green eyes were fixed intently on his toes, dark brows drawn in concentration.

"He's too cute." Hermione chimed in. They were sitting at the table in Harry's and Severus' dungeon rooms. Working on a Potions essay together. It was one that Hermione was actually having a bit of difficulty with and had asked for Harry's help. These days Harry was as proficient in Potions if not more so than he had ever been in Defense Against the Dark Arts.

Over the months he had become accustomed to the new little being in his life and the depression had slowly drained. But still, he was not the most attentive or affectionate father. He knew that and it bothered him more than he wanted to think. Severus was an oddly calming figure around Sage. But Harry found himself struggling to understand what Sage needed or wanted. He did stop slipping sleeping potions into the baby's bottle though. The guilt of knowing Sage was keeping Severus up all night because he was sleeping all day was too much for Harry.

"Yeah, he's a charm." Harry commented with a slight smile.

"So… do you think you'll have more?" Hermione teased, nudging Harry lightly with an elbow.

"No!" Harry immediately answered. "No. No. No."

"Well… that's final." Hermione dipped her quill into her ink and started writing again.


	19. Chapter 19

Author's note: I write author because I am the author now... wow... I think I've come a long way and I hope the break was worth it. At any rate, even though I understood what I was doing when I posted the notice saying the chapter would soon go up, I wasn't sure how to approach the chapter. Then I get this anonymous review from "i, it's a mystery" and s/he put things in real perspective for me and gave me something to go with. So thank you, whoever you are.

I know I worked very hard on this chapter since this one is not even remotely the same as the one I tried writing a long time ago or the one I wrote a few days ago. I believe that this is closer to what the story needs. I actually know how I want this all to end too, however I may need a beta who is very empathetic to the story to help me get there. Any feedback would be good as well.

**DISCLAIMER: **Harry Potter and all characters portrayed are not mine. I make no profit from this.

**WARNING: **This is **slash** (Harry/Severus) and **MPREG**. This chapter is PG13.

There are **sexual situations** in this story between two male wizards. **You have been warned!**

---

Harry fiddled with the focus of a telescope on the astronomy tower. He and Hermione were huddled around them in the increasing cold, attempting to do their astronomy homework; Severus, knowing that Hermione had been given the assignment, chose to give it to Harry as well. The boy was sure that the professor had assigned it to him for a reason other than the expanding of his intellect, but he was hardly given time to figure it out before his friend had whisked him away.

"Sage is such a cute baby," the girl sighed in a way girls often do. Harry had once thought her above that, but it seemed that almost all women would succumb to the smile of a baby if given half a chance. "How is he doing?"

Harry shrugged, avoiding the question by pretending to be distracted with the assignment. The last month had been less of a chore than the previous ones. Apparently this was the age where the infant was supposed to learn how to comfort himself and that the parents were supposed to just let him cry it out. Sage didn't cry every second, but he cried often enough that handling him had been quite a task. Harry certainly had no problem with this turn in events – but he did notice that every time Sage wailed, Severus would twitch just a bit. Sometimes, when grading tests, he would actually stop writing. This inability to follow his own instruction made Harry just a little bit angry and he didn't really know why. But he wasn't about to tell Hermione that.

"I feel sort of bad for Sage," Hermione stated as she peeked in through the telescope, tucking a strand of hair delicately behind her ear. This caught Harry's attention and his eyes shot to the side to look at his friend, holding his figure still and cautiously avoiding any sign that he was actually listening. "I know you don't want to have any more children, but it helps to have siblings. I for one despise being an only child." She said this with an even tone, almost testing the waters with her voice, waiting to see Harry's reaction. "I know Ron is complaining all the time, but he loves them and it's far better than being alone." Hermione paused, leaned away from the scope, and took a few notes before turning to look at Harry. "Why don't you want any more children?"

"He is perfect," he said softly and with a small bit of warmth. He then shrugged noncommittally, "But you try dealing and see whether you want another child."

She raised an eyebrow in slight incredulity and put down her notes. He could tell she wanted to say something, that it was on the tip of her tongue, just waiting to be released into the air, but she restrained it with a heavy sigh. She restrained her lips from speaking with a small bite to her lower lip and looked away.

"I don't know what you want from me," he whispered, more to the inside of his throat than to anyone around him.

"Were you saying that to me," she projected hesitantly, "or to Professor Snape?"

"What in the world are you talking about?" He all but yelled at her, turning the heads of other students on the tower.

She shook her head. "Nothing really." Harry shut his books with a loud bang. To hell with his homework he was going to bed.

But that would mean returning to his rooms, where Severus was waiting – waiting with Sage. He stopped walking.

"You don't have to talk to me if you don't want to," she said, "but should you like to, I won't judge you." Taking a chance, she reached forward and took his hand. While he did not nod his head or give any sign of agreement to speak, he did return to his seat without taking his hand out of hers. "You can tell me..."

For a moment Harry contemplated within himself whether to tell her anything at all. The inner struggle was almost outwardly physical the way his expression continued to change, but eventually he resigned himself to the fact that he would have to say it sooner or later (though preferably later), and began to speak. "There's supposed to be some sort of instinct, isn't there?" He sounded almost desperate. "I love Sage..." He stopped himself there, fading off into his own thoughts.

She waited a bit for him to continue but then realized after a few seconds that what he said was all she was going to get out of him. "You've never had to share, Harry. Everyone you've loved has loved you back unconditionally without a fight." Harry moved to protest, but she put a finger up, "Uh uh, let me finish. "You may say that you had a horrible life, but the Dursley's did not love you, therefore you did not need to share their love. You've never experienced the life of a sibling. Ron and his family, Dumbledore, Sirius, Remus, as well as myself have all loved you without equal. Ron knows what it is like to have to share both material things as well as affection. You and I, we're only children, we're possessive of everything around us. Only children are never as happy."

---

When Severus Snape heard a knock at the entrance to his rooms, he expected Harry to have returned and had forgotten the password to their rooms. However, when he opened the door, his prediction had been sorely off for instead of Harry, Hermione was the one gracing his entrance.

His eyebrows raised in some surprise, although to Hermione he still looked as composed as ever. "Ms. Granger, I expected you to be with Harry. Surely the two of you should be either studying or sleeping at this abysmal hour..."

"I apologize sir, but I was wondering if it would be alright if Harry stayed with my house tonight." While she said this without stuttering, she still sounded a bit meek.

"You are aware of how mine and Mr. Potter's partnership stands." Hermione nodded. "I do not think it a wise decision for him or myself to be sleeping in separate rooms at this point."

"That's just it, Professor," she interjected quickly. "I came down to ask if I could borrow a pillow or something of the like for Harry to sleep on. It's just for the night and I'm sure he'll be fine until morning."

Hermione almost publicly grinned at the sight of concern on Snape's face, but instead acted as if she had not seen it. He was worried, that much was obvious, and Hermione was nearly convinced that his worry was the reason why Snape had asked her to work on her astronomy assignment with Harry.

Snape quickly turned around, leaving Hermione there with the door open, and walked into the bedroom. She inched her head in, bracing her hands against the panels for fear of falling in, to look around for any sign of the baby. He was probably being hidden in a nearby room that was out of sight. Before she could take in her surroundings, Snape had returned with a pillow and pressed it into her hands without protest. "Make sure he returns by morning," he said with a final tone.

Hermione only noticed afterward that he had not used his usual snarky attitude in those last words and he inwardly smiled. Harry would be okay, he just needed time.


	20. Chapter 20

_Author's note: Well, here we go, the next chapter. After analyzing the story to no end, I tried to figure out what was going on and how to fix all the odd. Can't promise it's perfect since I barely had time to edit it. Like I've said in previous chapters, having a Beta would be excellent! Let me know if any of you readers are interested. I could really use feedback on my chapters. I am not the previous author and I am working hard to try and continue a story that another author wrote so I can't promise that the story is going to go the way the initial author had planned, so I'm just trying my best. Having an extra hand would help greatly (and may help me update faster). Also, any beta-like feedback in the form of a review is just as good._

_I also have one tiny apology. I had hoped to update earlier, but while rereading the fanfic I found myself in the possession of _Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows_, the ending of which left me in such a state of mourning that it took me a week to even look at fanfiction. I still haven't brought myself to reread the books or watch the movies yet. 10 years of a character can leave you in a serious state of disrepair if the character dies. So I walked away from this for a little bit in my time of mourning. Luckily it wasn't another two years._

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, since it is JK Rowlings. I do not own the original plot of Necessary Affections, the honor of which goes to Cotton Tail. In fact, all I really own is the laptop on which I am continuing this story.

Enjoy!

* * *

Harry couldn't believe that he had forgotten how comfortable the chairs in Gryffindor tower were. While Hermione had been right in assuming that Severus' pillow would truly settle him down, he had not been that far off already. The squashy armchairs were quite possibly one of the most perfect sets of furniture that Hogwarts owned. He sighed in slight content and allowed himself to forget his current situation for a moment. 

Hermione was in the boys' seventh year common room waking up Ron, but if the thumping noises coming from the stairs were any indication, she had accidentally woken up every boy in his year. "Harry!" Seamus exclaimed as he burst into the common room. "It's been a long time. Finally able to get away from Snarky Snape?"

Hermione tutted but didn't say anything else and perched herself on the armrest of Harry's chair.

"We haven't seen you in so long." Neville sighed and plopped down in a nearby chair. "Since last year we've only been able to see you at Quidditch matches, if at all."

"I was in classes with you," Harry defended weakly.

"Yeah, but across the room. And you can't even talk to us! That Snape is a right git!" This time it was Ron who complained, obviously glad at the chance to do so without Hermione being able to openly chastise him.

Dean nodded furiously in agreement. "Did you know that last week he docked thirty points from Gryffindor, simply because I was running a little late for class from being caught on the staircases while they were changing. And it wasn't even his class I was late for! He just happened to be in the charms room at the time."

Harry grimaced. Last week Sage had been especially fussy, most likely because the baby had finally realized how little attention he was going to get for his efforts and decided to cry louder instead. Severus had been really off about that. Harry's lips formed a tiny frown. Hermione noticed and patted his shoulder lightly.

"So you're taking Charms, Dean?" Hermione interjected quickly. "What work do you plan on going into?"

All the boys groaned this time, save for Harry, who was a little confused. "Can we not talk about this?" groused Ron. "We already have to talk about it enough in classes. Even Professor Sprout won't shut up about 'Our bright futures'."

That's right, Harry had forgotten that this was his last year of Hogwarts. What would he do once he graduated? Would Severus still have him around? Where would he go? He hadn't even given the slightest consideration as to what he was going to do with his life. "Oh Merlin," Harry groaned, "I have no _clue_ what I'm going to do."

"You had better all get thinking," Hermione said sternly. She was quite like McGonagall when she had to be. "We have less than a year left before we have to start applying for jobs," there was a collective groan around the room, "not to mention the N.E.W.T.s," more groaning, "and goodness knows how much you'll have actually learned by the end of the year. We have to be sure we're prepared." Harry was torn between giggles and worry over over Hermione's words. He had groaned along with the rest.

"Do any of you know what you'd like to do yet?" Harry asked. He was sure they had discussed it at length and he hadn't been there to see it. He hadn't been there for a lot of things.

All the boys looked nervous, aching to not be the first one to speak. "Neville knows," Dean finally piped up, "Don'tcha, Nev?"

"I think I'd like to go into herbology," said Neville quietly, but with a hint of confidence. "I'm quite good at it when I'm not bungling something up. And I do like plants."

"Do you think you'd like to be a professor?"

"Oh no, Harry. I'm too nervous as is. I'd definitely kill the lot of I tried to teach them anything." This had everyone laughing. Harry noted how good it felt to laugh again. But it felt empty for some reason. Why couldn't Severus make him laugh like this anymore?

Ron was the next to speak, noting that Harry's face was falling. "I'm studying to be an auror, but as you can see, it's quite a task keeping up with all these nutty professors. I'd like to join the Chudley Cannons someday, assuming I can ever learn to play Quidditch properly."

"Why would you need to," Seamus blurted out. "The Cannons can't play properly themselves."

"Take that back," Ron growled.

"Oh Ron," Hermione sighed. "No sense negating something that's true. And you know it is."

"What would you know! You'll see, the Cannons will be champions someday."

Suddenly the rest of the room was filled with confidence. Each was spouting off what they would like to do. Seamus was showing some interest in magical experimentation, something that had everyone fearing for Seamus' life, while Dean said he was showing interest in muggle-magical relations. Hermione had the most ambitious hopes yet, saying that she would like to be an arguer (what she explained was the magical equivalent of a barrister) in the ministry of magic, preferably in order to take S.P.E.W. ("It isn't _spew_ Ronald, stop laughing.") to the next level.

Now everyone was waiting on Harry, or at least it felt that way. The room had not gone quiet by any means, but they were all eye-balling him curiously in between speakers, expecting him to jump in at any moment with his hopes and dreams. What _did_ he want to do? He could only imagine how much more Severus would hate him if he made a decision like this without discussing it with him first. Everything had to be run past Severus so he could ask "Will it interfere with Dumbledore's grand plan?" "Is it feasible in our current relationship?" and "How will it effect Sage?"

_Who cares how this would effect Sage?_ Harry shouted at his inner Severus. This was about him, not the baby.

"I want to be a healer." He blurted out suddenly, causing everyone to turn to him in surprise. "I-I mean, not really a healer like the ones in St. Mungos... more like what Madame Pomfrey does I suppose. Or maybe even just create the medicines..."

"I thought you told McGonagall wanted to be an auror," Ron said. Everyone else nodded.

Harry shook his head. "I like plants and I'm getting sick of fighting all the time and now that I think about it..." _I don't even expect to live past Voldemort_. But he wasn't going to say that out loud. Now that he thought about it, what would happen after Voldemort? If he defeated him, would Severus still be okay with the bond? Would he still love Harry? Or would he only be content with Harry because of Sage? What would keep them together anymore? Suddenly Harry's mind was filled with too many questions for him to handle and he shuddered, leaning closer to Hermione and wishing for a moment that Severus was there to make it all better.

"What?" Seamus interjected, pulling Harry out of his thoughts. "Now that you think about what?"

"Fighting bad guys gives me more responsibility than I think I want. I have enough as it is."

"But being a healer takes just as much responsibility," said Hermione softly.

Harry blinked. "I hadn't thought about that... I guess I haven't been thinking about a lot of things lately."

Ron and Hermione looked at him sympathetically. Everyone else just looked a little confused but chose not to say anything. The tension seemed to be stuffing the room and eventually Seamus had to change the subject back to quidditch to get out of it. Finally everyone but Ron and Hermione went to bed with their heads a little too full, both with thoughts of the future and with the knowledge that Gryffindor was probably going to lose the quidditch cup again this year.

The common room was quiet for a few minutes. Hermione and Ron were both waiting for Harry to say something and Harry was feeling too jumbled to even form words. He pulled his feet up onto the chair and brought his knees to his chest, leaning slightly against Severus's pillow. Finally, he turned to Ron. "How do you think your mom and dad handled having Bill?"

"What do you mean?"

"Never mind, forget I asked." Harry sighed again.

Hermione slid off the arm rest and took a chair for herself so that she could look at Harry directly. "Don't worry, Harry. No one is a perfect parent right away."

"Yeah," Ron chimed in before Hermione could continue, "I'll bet Snape is an awful dad!"

Hermione sighed and shook her head. "Really, Ron..."

"Actually," Harry said softly, "he's become a very good father."

"Really?" Ron looked shocked.

"Yes." And suddenly something burst in Harry and he started saying things before he could stop himself. "He loves Sage much more than I do and spends hours a day worrying about him, which I suppose is natural, but isn't something I find myself doing. Not to mention we haven't had decent... well... _you know_... in months because I'm not into it anymore!"

"Too much information!" Ron shouted, but Harry kept going.

"And all I can think is that all the affection from the bond is being directed at Sage, but if that were the case wouldn't I be able to love Sage equally? And we don't talk about my future anymore and he really doesn't seem to try to teach me anything in the same way he used to. What happened to us? Why can't Severus love me anymore?" He nearly shouted the last part and took a number of deep breaths afterwards in an effort to calm himself down. In his head he could still hear Severus whisper calming words in a language Harry didn't recognize, just like he used to.

"He still does." Hermione said softly. Ron was too horror-stricken to say much of anything, so she let herself continue. "Harry, you haven't given him much choice. Babies are hard to take care of and you're not really stepping up."

"But-"

"Let me finish," she spat. Ron snorted compulsively. "I can't believe I have to spell this out for you! Every parent has love for his or her child which is _separate_ from the love he or she shares with the other parent. If you keep thinking that Professor Snape loves Sage more than you then you're not going to get anywhere and you will find yourself not communicating with your own bond mate and without a real connection with your son." Now she was the one breathing heavily. Ron was giggling out of sheer nerve and Harry was taking in what she had said while playing with the tassel on the end of his arm-rest.

Finally, the pause was broken when Harry turned up and, with a slight smirk on his face, told Ron to stop laughing. "S-s-sorry m-mate." He choked out and convinced himself to stop. "I just realized how ridiculous this all was. I mean... you're bonded to Snape."

Now it was Hermione's turn to start giggling. "Oh Ron."

"I think I'm going to need therapy after this conversation."

"Finally sinking in, is it?" Harry asked, forcing Ron into another fit of laughing.

\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

Harry burst into his and Severus's rooms, doubting the fact that Severus would be asleep despite the fact that it was past midnight. In fact, he wasn't remotely surprised to find that Severus was leaning over a potion with the baby's bassinet sitting just barely in reach. He didn't look up when Harry stomped through the room, in fact, he didn't even flinch. However, while Harry was ready to just put what he wanted to say away until Severus was ready, Severus surprised him by setting his ladle down, though the potion clearly was not finished, and looked up to stare at Harry with those deep, obsidian eyes that still made Harry shiver.

"You left your friends?" He asked softly, although it was not really a question.

"They're asleep. I couldn't stay up there, it was getting to uncomfortable." Harry threw Severus's pillow across the room.

"Quite a bit of noise you're making this evening. I do hope you're done because Sage has only just gotten to sleep and I don't need two over-emotional children while I am brewing."

"Severus..." Harry whispered, the words almost riding on his breath.

And then Harry heard two words that were so unusual coming from Severus that Harry thought he might nearly die from hearing them.

"I apologize."

Harry's eyes widened and his legs gave out under him so that he was forced to sit down on a nearby sofa, just barely landing on it.

"You didn't need to hear that. I should be more sympathetic."

"No you shouldn't!" Harry exclaimed. "I-I mean, sometimes it would be nice, but recently I've been the stupid one." He could see that Severus was inclined to agree and was grateful that the man held his tongue. He took a deep breath. "I'm sorry for what an arse I've been but that doesn't mean that-"

"I want you to talk to Poppy if you feel comfortable."

"I want to be able to talk to you, Severus!" He jumped up and grabbed his wrist. "But I can't do that when all your time is monopolized by Sage. I won't compete." In an impulsive grab for some form of dominance, Harry yanked Severus down just low enough so he could reach up and mash his lips to Severus's. He could feel the taller man nearly completely unravel against him and knew that at least he could have this with Severus. He would still be the person who knew just where to run his tongue across the roof of Severus's mouth to make him groan in just that way. For now, that was enough, and he pulled away.

"Harry-"

"But I'll try... really, I will."

"I have a few things we can suggest, but we can talk about those later." It was then that Harry noticed that Severus's arm was twitching.

"It's him, isn't it? Voldemort."

"The Dark Lord," he confirmed sternly. "Yes. I have to go."

Harry nodded and stepped away from the other man's grip. "Go. You're right, we can have this conversation later." Just another person Harry had to compete with.

He sat down on the couch and looked away as Severus made his preparations to leave. He wouldn't watch him go tonight. Instead he pulled Sage's bassinet closer and allowed himself to watch the baby sleep. He didn't know what he was doing, but he promised Severus that he would try, and that was the best he could do for the time being.


End file.
